Another Year, Another Horrible Florida Panthers Failure

It was supposed to be different this year. Hell, it was different this year.It’s hard to believe now, but it really was only two months ago when the Herald ran a front page story with this headline: “Panthers Hockey Fans Are Frisky Over Playoff Prospects.” The Cats had won a…

Gators Silently Invading Miami-Dade

Many promising young high school football athletes in Miami-Dade dream of some day dawning the orange and green of the University of Miami. Evidently very few dare dream of putting on the orange and blue of Gainesville, as the Gators haven’t been able to get a Miami-Dade player to sign…

David Samson, Thy Name Is Samson

We take it all back — all the vitriol regarding the lack of a public process for the new stadium, all the accusations of backroom deals, dirty money, and no-bid contracts. Build the Marlins whatever they want. This team is amazing. 3-0? How about 162-0? How about just by watching…

Relive All the Magic of the Canes’ 7-6 Season

“Get your hot new DVDs of a franchise that used to be amazing and now is just kind of ‘meh’! Right here! Only $20!” “Oh, you’ve got Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?” “No, it’s the highlight DVD of the Miami Hurricanes’ 2008 football season.”Even AllCanes, the…

French Handball Mania to Throttle Miami This Weekend

The Marlins settled for 600 fans per home game last year. The Panthers are literally giving away tickets. Minor-league soccer squad Miami FC is hemorrhaging cash. So you might think it’d be foolhardy to bet big bucks on Miamians attending the championship of a sport most Americans have never heard…

Murray and Azarenka Win Miami Masters… Wait, Who?

Just about the only bold names casual American tennis fans can be expected to recognize who performed up to expectations at this year’s Miami Masters were Andy Roddick and Venus Williams. Roddick made it as far as he could until he got dropped by Roger Federer; meanwhile, Venus put up…

You, FSU, Do Not Mess With Canes Baseball, You Just Don’t Do It

Lately, telling sports fans you’re a UM alum never leads to anything good. It’s always, “Man, what happened to your football team?” or “Sucks you’re losing McClinton.” And that’s just the cordial ones. But there’s always baseball. You can always take pride in baseball. Which is why Friday’s big loss…

Federer Smash!

The mens’ side of the Miami Masters has shaped up to be quite surprising. First top seed Rafael Nadel went out in a sloppy loss in the quarter finals, then, today, second seed Rodger Federer lost to Novak Djokovic in the semis.Then, the normally reserved and professional Federer smashed his…

Stallworth Charged With DUI Manslaughter

On March 14th, Donte Stallworth, a wide receiver with the NFL’s Cleveland Browns, got drunk, hopped into the front seat of his Bentley, drove across 195, and hit and killed a pedestrian.  According to secret AP sources he’ll be charged with DUI Manslaughter. If convicted, Stallworth could sit in jail…

High School Basketball Stars May Have Served You McNuggets

The McDonald’s All-American High School basketball games goes off tomorrow on the UM campus. The Washington Post has been posting blog dispatches from Maryland’s National Christian Academy stand out Dante Taylor. He has been having all sorts of fun in Miami. He’s swam with dolphins, noted the algae on the…

Fins Pre-Season Announced

The Dolphins Pre-Season scheduled was announced today, and they won’t be playing teams from that far away. They’ll match up against the two other Florida franchises, Carolina and New Orleans. The exact dates aren’t set in stone, but this gives you a general idea. Aug. 14-18 … vs. Jacksonville at…

Don’t Even Think About It, Jason Taylor

Jason Taylor spent 11 long years with the Miami Dolphins, the last of which was particularly embarrassing, but did our love not make up for it? It wasn’t a Dan Marino type of love, but we loved him in a way a city loves the standout star of their otherwise…

The global takeover of French handball begins in Miami

The Marlins settled for 600 fans to a home game last year. The Panthers are literally giving away tickets. Our minor-league soccer team is hemmoraging cash, And those are sports that Americans have at least heard of. So you might think it’d be foolhardy to bet millions on Miamians attending the…

Sharapova Withdraws from Miami Masters Again

Maria Sharapova occasionally pops up on my TV screen to sell me digital cameras in ads where she’s constantly upstaged by a small dog who thinks in the most stereotypical French accent ever. But the 21-year-old former number one hasn’t popped up on my TV screen in any important tennis…

Yawn, More A-Rod Controversy

As a wee boy my baseball hero was Kirby Puckett. I know Marlins fans may not be able to comprehend the idea of a star player staying with a single team his entire career, but Puckett did, and racked up two World Series championships for the Twins and an impressive…