The Miami Heat were on the verge of taking a commanding 2-0 series lead, had a 15-point lead in the fourth quarter, had Dwyane Wade back to his nut-punching ways, were alley-ooping and dunking and partying like it was 2006, and even had Mike Bibby scoring points. And then, of…
Of the three referees assigned to game two between the Heat and Mavericks, one was suspended in 2007 for challenging Tim Duncan to a fight, another spent five months in jail, and the third once ejected the Celtics’ Paul Pierce for, well, no one really knows what. All three of…
Oye, Guanabacoa’s most famous resident since Rick Sanchez is guaranteeing the Miami Heat will pick up its second Larry O’Brian O’Brien trophy in the NBA Finals.In his latest YouTube video, Pepe Billete explains why the Dallas Mavericks suck ass while partaking in one of his favorite past times. We’ve loosely translated…
As the Miami Heat are on the hunt for the second NBA Championship, the big man who helped them secure their first has announced his retirement from professional basketball. After 19 seasons in the NBA, four championships rings, 15 trips to the All-Star Game, an MVP award and six teams,…
The NBA Finals feels like Miami versus the World, but there’s at least an entire other nation rooting wildly for the Heat: The Philippines. Yes, Coach Erik Spoelstra’s mother is a native of the Pacific nation, and Spoelstra is the first Filipino-American head coach of any major North American professional…
If you’re a fan of low scoring games, low-percentage shooting and sleep depravity, then Game 1 of the NBA Finals was the game for you!LeBron James scored 24 while Dwyane Wade added 22 and Chris Bosh went for 19 as the Miami Heat took down the Dallas Mavericks 92-84 to…
These days, everyone is weighing in on the rivalry between the Miami Heat and the Dull-ass Mavericks. Even God.As the Pope’s duly appointed representative in South Florida, Archbishop of Miami Thomas Wenski has astutely wagered that the Heat will take the NBA title. Unsurprisingly, his Dallas counterpart, Bishop Kevin Farrell,…
LeBron James may be on the brink of winning Miami an NBA Championship. Man that’ll feel almost as good as that time the Miami Hurricanes beat Ohio State in the 2003 Fiesta Bowl to take home the BCS Championship. Oh wait…James is seriously testing our Miami sports fan heart strings…
Dear America:We address you as ambassadors of sorts from the culturally sovereign nation of Miami-Dade. It has recently come to our attention that the “Miami Heat,” a professional sporting concern that represents our city in your National Basketball Association, has advanced to a series that will crown this organization’s annual…
The non-stop criticism of LeBron James turned ugly when haters started taking aim not just the Heat but at their fans and Miami itself. They said our city is shallow. They said we didn’t cheer hard enough at home games. They said we didn’t deserve this team. They said we…
The Miami Heat left the Chicago Bulls wounded last night, and who’s come along to rub in the salt? None other than Scottie Pippen. Michael Jordan’s former right-hand-man was on ESPN’s Mike and Mike in the Morning today and said that LeBron James might actually be a better basketball player…
Every single person that has ever uttered or written or tweeted or thought the word “LeBrick” can help themselves to a dick chipotle. Because with 3:12 remaining in the game, and the Heat down by 12, LeBron James obliterated the Chicago Bulls’ vaunted defense like an ass-kicking machine with the…
There were thousands of fans at Thursday night’s watch party at the American Airlines Arena to see the Chicago Bulls fold like a fitted sheet in the final seconds and lose 83-80 to the Heat, who will face Dallas for the NBA crown. But only two attendees of the “White…
The Chicago Bulls’ Joakim Noah’s “fuck you, faggot” outburst during the Eastern Conference Finals against the Miami Heat was one thing (certainly an inexcusable thing, but not something that necessarily makes him a raging homophobe). Tim Hardaway’s 2007 outburst in which he stated, “I hate gay people… I am homophobic,” was on…
The Dallas Mavericks earned a spot in the NBA Finals Wednesday night with their 100-96 win over the Oklahoma City Thunder, which means once the Heat finally put the Chicago Bulls out of their misery tonight, all that stands between Miami and a national title is a shaggy, horse-toothed German…
First off: Is there any better evidence that the Miami Heat’s Big Three is really a two-headed beast than the fact that Dwyane Wade and LeBron James always hold a tandem press conference with Chris Bosh later speaking to reporters alone? If this team is a circus, Wade and LeBron…
Last night’s heart pumping game between the Miami Heat and Chicago Bulls certainly had enough on court action to keep anyone satisfied, but a TNT camera man got a little bored between halves and started zooming in on some of the Heat’s prettiest blonde lady fans. Somehow that ended up…
It’s a weird week for the word “faggot,” ain’t it? The Chicago Bull’s Joakim Noah just got fined a discounted $50,000 for addressing an unruly Heat fan as such during game three of the NBA Eastern Conference Finals in Miami on Sunday. Meanwhile, Goblin, the proper debut album of Tyler,…
Charles Barkley has been flapping his mouth all season by taking any shot possible at the Miami Heat. The man simply finds any opening possible to criticize the team. Needless to say, he’s not exactly a popular man in Miami.Last night, he was forced outside in front of the AA…
Miami Hurricanes coach Al Golden has a fever, and the only cure is more quarterbacks. The ‘Canes didn’t draft a single QB this year, and Golden will only have three slingers at his disposal next season (only two of whom are actual options). Yet, he imagines a day where the…
The Miami Heat took down the tough Chicago Bulls 96-85 in an Eastern Conference Finals Game 3 that featured tough defense, gay slurs, Miami fans berating Charles Barkley, LeBron James obliterating Kyle Korver, and Chris Bosh exploding all over Chicago’s face. The Heat now have a 2-1 lead in the…
That’ll be $100,000 towards the “NBA Players Never Learn” fund, please. (In video below, slur is at about the 18 second mark.)Update: Noah told reporters after the game: “I apologize. The fan said something to me that I thought was disrespectful, and I got caught up in the moment, and…
