Well, it appears the timing of Jack McKeon’s retirement announcement wasn’t so random. An official announcement that the Florida Miami Marlins have hired Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillén as their new skipper seems imminent. The Sox have released Guillén from his contract, and he’s reportedly ready to accept the…
We’re actually surprised that 80-year-old Marlins manager Jack McKeon made it to the end of the season. After dusting him off in the middle of the year, the Marlins have now been informed, to the surprise of no one, that McKeon will go back into retirement as soon as this…
The attention has shifted somewhat back to the Miami Hurricanes losses on the field, but NCAA sanctions are still looming for the school’s massive off-field failure to keep its players away from douche king sports booster Nevin Shapiro. It took a surprisingly long time, but it seems that one of…
Deep in the sweatiest bowels of Sun Life Stadium, one of Jeffrey Loria’s minions is ticking off a to-do list for next season, when his ball club will be rechristened the Miami Marlins and move into a gleaming, fresh Little Havana home.”New $515 million stadium at taxpayer expense?” Check! “Garish…
The Miami Dolphins dominated pretty much every facet of the game against the Cleveland Browns yesterday, including rushing and passing yards. They even held a 16-10 lead with 43 seconds remaining.But because they are the Dolphins, they went ahead and did that thing where they go all epic fail on…
The kickoff of the Miami Hurricanes-Kansas State Wildcats game has been delayed 30 minutes due to lightning, but there’s a far more baffling display of nature going on at Sun Life Stadium right now. The bowl has been invaded by thousands of dragonflies…
Over the past ten years, if Dolphins fans haven’t been talking about publicly drawing and quartering whatever unlucky sap is filling the quarterback role at Sun Life Stadium, they’ve likely yapping about burning the coach on a cross. Or, at least his contract.With a 0-2 record and the longest active…
The Florida Marlins’ sad, sad season has gone from merely pathetic to positively ridiculous. Yesterday, the interwebs were atwitter with speculation over why the team suddenly sent closer Leo Nuñez to his native Dominican Republic only hours after helping the Fish defeat the Atlanta Braves.Well, last night we found out…
Marlins relief pitcher Leo Núñez, who’s racked up a career high 36 saves this season so far as the team’s closer, has mysteriously been suspended by the team and left the country, according to The Miami Herald. The report has precious few details. Nothing like a gold ol’ sports controversy…
Shaquille O’Neal’s recent legal troubles are a complicated saga. There are multiple mistresses and several lawsuits, an alleged police conspiracy, extortion claims, and Shaq’s own typo-laden Twitter-style emails narrating it all.We think we did a noble job of parsing through the Lord of the Rings-caliber, twisty plot to bring you…
You told us LeBron that you’d win us seven or more NBA champions, you told us you would. So, now what? You’re taking back that promise in a burger commercial? We believed you when you said, “Not 5, not 6, not 7… we can win MULTIPLE championships,” while the entire…
Leicester Bryce Stovell claims that when he was 29 years old he met a 15-year-old Gloria James, took her home, loved her up without the benefit of a condom, and that nine months later little LeBron popped out. That’s skeevy enough, but once James became famous, Stovell decided to cash…
Sure, Channing Crowder is no longer a member of the Miami Dolphins, but he seems to be determined to keep his position as the team’s biggest loudmouth. The temporarily “retired” linebacker was on the Joe Rose Show this morning on WQAM and unleashed some harsh words for Dolphins QB Chad Henne. …
How best to celebrate the opening of a taxpayer-manhandling new ballpark that looks like the grotesque lovechild of the ’70s spaceship from Close Encounters of the Third Kind and a cheap toaster oven? How about a new logo that’s the hideous mutant spawn of the Mets’ emblem and that time…
Unfortunately for Miami Heat fans, the NBA lockout has not put a lock on the mouth of Charles Barkley, the unofficial president of the Anti-Heat Fan Club. Barkley was on Dan LeBatard’s new ESPN2 show on Friday, and while he may be out of a broadcasting job himself next season,…
Florida’s two best Division I FBS teams outside the big six conferences (or what’s left of them — sorry, USF) entered FIU Stadium undefeated this past Saturday. Only one left with a perfect record. The Golden Panthers engineered a mild 17-10 upset over UCF and remained hot after last week’s huge road…
The Amazing Shitshow! that is your Miami Dolphins fell to the Houston Texans for the sixth straight time, in a 23-13 ass-whoopin’ yesterday afternoon. The Dolphins are now 0-2 to start the season, have lost 11 of their last 12 games at home, can’t convert a third down for dick,…
Unless you’re an Owl or an Ibis, you’re probably pretty happy with your Division I FBS Florida football team right now. UF, FSU, USF, FIU and UCF all enter week three with a 2-0 record, and all but one has big game this weekend.Sure, you might be revved up as…
Well, you can’t Dolphins owner Stephen Ross has never done anything nice for fans: he’s taken the costly and unusual step of ordering the team to buy out the remaining stock of unsold tickets to ensure that Sundays game against the Houston Texans isn’t blacked out on local television…
Fan favorite and self-described “twittaholic” Logan Morrison has filed an official grievance with the Florida Marlins over his demotion to AAA last month, reports ESPN.The Fish, meanwhile, have lost four in a row due to a comedy of errors. They are 31 games back in the division with only 12…
Extortion, espionage, mistresses, and Delonte West’s penis. Just how crazy is Shaquille O’Neal’s personal life? Last February, local prosecutors met with Vanessa Lopez, a woman claiming to be O’Neal’s former mistress, about an alleged extortion plot, according to a Florida Department of Law Enforcement investigative report obtained by Riptide. Authorities…
Stop us if you’ve heard this one: Miami Heat great Glen Rice had a “steamy” one-night stand with Tea Party queen bee Sarah Palin back when he was a University of Michigan star and she was a local TV sportscaster. Wait, no one has ever heard that one before because…
