The Amazing Shitshow! that is your Miami Dolphins fell to the Houston Texans for the sixth straight time, in a 23-13 ass-whoopin’ yesterday afternoon. The Dolphins are now 0-2 to start the season, have lost 11 of their last 12 games at home, can’t convert a third down for dick,…
Unless you’re an Owl or an Ibis, you’re probably pretty happy with your Division I FBS Florida football team right now. UF, FSU, USF, FIU and UCF all enter week three with a 2-0 record, and all but one has big game this weekend.Sure, you might be revved up as…
Well, you can’t Dolphins owner Stephen Ross has never done anything nice for fans: he’s taken the costly and unusual step of ordering the team to buy out the remaining stock of unsold tickets to ensure that Sundays game against the Houston Texans isn’t blacked out on local television…
Fan favorite and self-described “twittaholic” Logan Morrison has filed an official grievance with the Florida Marlins over his demotion to AAA last month, reports ESPN.The Fish, meanwhile, have lost four in a row due to a comedy of errors. They are 31 games back in the division with only 12…
Extortion, espionage, mistresses, and Delonte West’s penis. Just how crazy is Shaquille O’Neal’s personal life? Last February, local prosecutors met with Vanessa Lopez, a woman claiming to be O’Neal’s former mistress, about an alleged extortion plot, according to a Florida Department of Law Enforcement investigative report obtained by Riptide. Authorities…
Stop us if you’ve heard this one: Miami Heat great Glen Rice had a “steamy” one-night stand with Tea Party queen bee Sarah Palin back when he was a University of Michigan star and she was a local TV sportscaster. Wait, no one has ever heard that one before because…
This year’s Major League Baseball season isn’t over, but for the Florida Marlins, it pretty much is.In fact, the Florida Marlins are technically pretty much over. Next year, they’ll be in that new stadium with a new name, and the MLB has announced that the team will play the very…
All the talk before this season began was how Chad Henne and the Miami Dolphins offense was just a massive pile of deer shit. But when Henne started things off last night’s season opener against the New England Patriots by leading the Fins on a 12-play, 84-yard opening touchdown drive,…
Tayshana Murphy, an 18-year-old basketball star in Manhattan who was being heavily recruited by the University of Miami women’s basketball team, was fatally gunned down this past weekend in what appears to be a tragic case of mistaken identity. Murphy, ranked the 16th best point guard in the nation in…
Dwyane Wade has spent a good chunk of his lockout time hobnobbing with the fashion elite. First he was spotted at the men’s shows in Milan and Paris before introducing his own designer watch. Then he played model for VMan, and just last week, he was in New York for Fashion’s Night…
The Dolphins home opener is tonight at Sun Life Stadium.Everybody in the world is talking about the keys to the game. Can Chad Henne pass? Can Reggie Bush run? Can that damn defensive line get to that damn pretty boy… um, what’s his name… Brady?Well, forget about it. Brady has beat us…
Guys, do you ever wonder what you would call yourself if you woke up one day and suddenly found yourself in a woman’s body (*cough* Kylie, obviously *cough*)? Because LeBron James certainly has. He took to Twitter today to introduce the world to his “sister” (AKA drag persona) LeBre’sha…
So, the University of Miami has decided it’s time to let Jacory Harris say words in public agai. They trotted their starting quarterback in front of the media today after he was suspended for the Maryland game for taking about $140 in impermissible benefits from Nevin Shapiro. Harris wanted to…
As Miami Dolphins fans, our gut reaction to Tom Brady is “ugh,” so we guess it’s only fitting he’s the new poster boy for Ugg for Men boots. Yes, Uggs, those horribly ugly sheepskin affronts to footwear decency favored by circa 2005 UM sorority girls (paired with miniskirts, naturally) and…
Considering the state of the Dolphins right now, a ranking of 16th isn’t bad. Though, the ranking was awarded by Forbes.com on a list of the most valuable NFL teams. Forbes estimates that the Dolphins are worth $1.01 billion. Slightly less than the $1.04 billion average…
Jacory Harris will start for the Miami Hurricanes when the team makes its home debut in ten days against Ohio State according to USA Today. Harris, a senior, sat out the Maryland game due to his involvement in the Nevin Shapiro scandal, but will return to take over his starting…
The Florida High School Athletic Association today released findings from its investigation of Aventura-area Dr. Michael M. Krop High’s basketball team, which was disqualified from the playoffs last year amid amidst allegations of rampant cheating. The verdict: For falsifying information in order to play ineligible students, Krop High is being…
Ah, petting zoos. They seem so innocent, all those pretty horses letting you stroke their manes just like a real-life Sunday morning cartoon. It’s great! Until the horse gets a taste for human blood, that is, and decides to bite the thumb right off your hand.That’s exactly what Ann Lavecchia…
When he was traded from the LA Lakers to the Miami Heat in 2004, Shaquille O’Neal became a reserve officer on the Miami Beach police force. Like any cop in Florida, O’Neal had a personnel file that is subject to a public records request. We’ve embedded the file below. As in…
Never mind the embarrassment caused by the Nevin Shapiro scandal. Forget the suspensions. Put aside the looming thoughts of further NCAA sanctions. Let us be glad as Miami Hurricane fans that our team will never, ever face the humility of taking to the field dressed in something either looking like…
Next time you’re six Buds deep at Sun Life Stadium and venting your rage at the ump about another wasted Marlins summer — “Hey, blue! Grow another eyeball and you’ll be a f***ing Cyclops!” — consider this: The guys behind home plate have a pretty insane schedule.They actually have to…
As we all know college football is purely an amateur sport. The kind of mere amateur sport, of course, where a broadcast powerhouse can look at its TV schedule, realize it has a Labor Day hole, and coerce a team that historically guarantees good ratings to change its schedule so…
