Who wouldn’t want to rest for eternity on their college campus? What better a final resting place than the first spot you nervously smoked marijuana because the cute senior offered it to you and you didn’t want to seem like a geek but felt like you were somehow giving up…
Gather ’round, children — it’s time to discuss the latest results of the Quinnipiac University Poll!Floridians still love Charlie Crist. He has 66 percent approval ratings! That includes 66 percent of Democrats and 68 percent of Republicans. White born-again evangelicals like him enough (66 percent) but disapprove of him at…
You know what never made sense to me? Back in the ’90s, the WWF (now WWE) teamed up “The Million-Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase, a character who was a millionaire, with Irwin R. Schyster, AKA I.R.S., a tax man. Together they won three tag-team titles, but, dude, millionaires friggin’ hate the…
When President Obama wasn’t bailing out America’s troubled cute industry yesterday with the unveiling of new First Dog Charles Beauregard “Bo” Hussein Kennedy-Obama, he found time to kick his support behind America’s bid to host the FIFA World Cup in either 2018 or 2022. He wrote a letter that was…
The Security Council of Florida’s website proudly heralds the key speaker of its upcoming Free Speech Summit as “Banned in London, Indicted in Holland, Guilty in Jordan, Welcome in Florida.” Charming. Geert Wilder has indeed been banned in London, indicted in Holland and found guilty in Jordan, but I wouldn’t…
Pretty much everyone knows that the education system in this country needs to be fixed. Conservatives like Sean Hannity apaprently think that if we break “the unholy alliance” between democrats and teachers unions everything will be solved. Liberals, actually I am not even sure. I hear a lot of chatter,…
Do you remember a particular post we made on Friday, Jan. 30 2009 at 11:02AM? Of course you do, because ever since then you’ve been waiting eagerly for Bob Smith to enter the Senate race. Bob Smith, of course, has already been a Senator. In New Hampshire, a State about…
It must be a sad day for all those anti-socialist hardliners in Miami, but 20% of Americans told Rasmussen Reports that they think socialism is better than capitalism. While only 53% can definitely say that capitalism is better than socialism. In adults under 30 the margin is even smaller. Thirty…
Nate Silver of FiveThirtyEight.com correctly predicted the outcome of the presidential election, and because of that, he can find the answer to everything with a few clicks of his calculator. Except for the Oscars; he sure got those wrong. Sorry, Mickey. Now Silver is trying to predict the years when…
Brave Floridians of every stripe of ignorance went to the polls last November and banned any practical, legal recognition of gay relationship forever… or at least until society evolves beyond its prejudices, which history shows it tends to do. The gays can marry in Iowa and Vermont now, so it’s…
The right wing was eager to paint Obama as some sort of arugula-eating hippie elitist with immaculate, highfalutin taste that would turn off the common man. Silently, Riptide wished this was true. Turns out that if Obama’s TV habits are any indication, he has the taste of your regular bro…
Good news everyone! Particularly-voiced character actor and all around bad-ass Charles Bronson has decided to reemerge from the grave and run for governor of our fair state should Charlie Crist decide to run for senate! Hold on, I’m getting some clarification from the dedicated 40 person Riptide newsroom. Ok. Apparently,…
Some geniuses in Miami Beach want to rebrand two areas in the city as “The French Quarter” (Normandy isles shopping district) and “The District” (shops along Collins near 8th ave). Problem is that one is already associated with various areas of world cities, while the other is entirely bland and…
The number of horrible mass shootings nationally in the past few weeks has been astoundingly sad. Incidents in Miami alone have taken the lives of a dozen people in the past few weeks. I don’t know if you can explain something like this. Blaming it on the economy, as it…
I’m not immediately sure how this is useful, but there’s a new website for people in Tallahassee to get excited over. It’s called the Florida Gaggle, and its main feature is that it aggregates the Twitter feeds from politicians, politicos, and reporters. How exciting! It also aggregates the same five or…
Remember when John McCain used to be the “cool Republican”? Which is about as cool as being a “cool dad,” but he was genial enough. Then things happened (you betcha) and he has been bitter about it ever sense. Last month he was at a meeting with Hispanic business leaders…
If Charlie Crist does not run for Senate, Marco Rubio is officially the luckiest man on Earth. Rep. Connie Mack IV (né Cornelius Harvey McGillicuddy IV), who pulled in decent numbers during early polling mainly because he shares a name with his father, former Sen. Connie Mack III, has decided…
These dang Florida Democrats can’t seem to run for Senate without some sort of campaign gimmick. Lawton Chiles had his walk, Bob Graham had working days, and Dan Gelber is undertaking 100 days of public service. Rep. Kendrick Meek might be leading in fundraising, but he is totally losing in…
Awkward Republican National Committee Chairmen Michael Steele is coming to Miami Monday! Hooray! If you’re the kind of person who likes to protest the GOP, Steele is probably the best thing that could have happened to that party. It hasn’t been announced exactly where Steele will be, but Riptide has…
Remember when St. Pete Times columnist Howard Toxler wanted the state university system’s next chancellor to be “a real (bleep)”? Basically he wanted someone with name recognition who couldn’t be easily pushed around by legislators. Fat chance at that. The Board of Governors hired a search firm from Texas, and…
For a man who has held so many government positions, Mel Martinez never seemed too gung-ho about public service. As he put it in his book, A Sense of Belonging, politics, “sort of sneaked up and tapped me softly on the shoulder.” But after all these years he would like…
It has been over eight years now since Florida changed the history of the world forever by not being able to count votes correctly, and we have been apologizing for it ever sense. I mean, we weren’t sorry enough to not vote for Bush in 2004, and Broward County wasn’t…
