This really is the only logical endpoint in a state so obsessed with sex crimes that we banished sex offenders to live under a bridge and unleashed prosecutors onto sexting teens: A teacher sees two 12-year-old students smooching in gym class and tells the school’s principal, who then reports the kids…
OK, so maybe Michelle Obama didn’t actually break any barriers yesterday in Homestead as the first black woman ever to watch a NASCAR race. She may well have set a different, all-too-predictable record, though: most heartily booed MC at the season-ending race south of Miami.Broadcast live on ESPN, Obama and Dr…
Richard “Kudo” Couto is the animal activist responsible for the closure of an entire district of illegal slaughter farms in Northwest Miami-Dade County, through the use of commando tactics like secret surveillance. By the time you’re reading this on Saturday afternoon, Kudo’s efforts should have led to another multi-agency raid…
A bloody uprising tears through a small, resource-rich country. A leader emerges, promising an end to years of elitist, white rule and the beginning of a new socialist utopia. But instead of relinquishing power, that leader becomes a strongman, an authoritarian… a dictator.Cuba? No, this is the story of Zimbabwe…
Since the Occupy movements started pitching tents and politically motivated fits alike, the rest of the world’s been asking, “What the hell do you expect to achieve from sleeping under the stars and smelling like last week’s lunch?” Futurist Jacque Fresco and his partner Roxanne Meadows, creators of The Venus Project, are…
The Dolphins have scored 158 points total this season. Between field goals and extra points, kicker Dan Carpenter has scored 68 of those points. Basically, the dude is responsible for a ridiculous 42 percent of the Dolphin’s scoring this season, including the Jets game where he was the only person…
“Dr.” Oneal Morris has a very literal solution for patients looking to add a little junk to their trunks. She injected a woman looking to add a little more oomph to her caboose with a solution made of cement, superglue, mineral oil, and Fix-A-Flat tire mender. Thirty-year-old Morris was arrested…
Today’s photo comes from Viper1165’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group. Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
Never give a baby a wine cooler. Never slap your sister. Never slap your sister for giving a baby a wine cooler. Never call the police to report that your brother slapped you and then admit that you gave a baby a wine cooler. Basically, never do anything any of…
Hundreds gathered in Jose Martí Park yesterday in Little Havana, tromped east on Calle Ocho into Brickell then paraded through downtown Miami in a protest march that heard just as many “Sak ap fets?” as “Que bola aseres?” alongside chants of “End The Fed,” and “If you can hear my…
For many the name of developer Jorge Perez is synonymous with the boom and bust of Miami real estate over the past decade. Now it appears Perez would much rather have his name synonymous with the Miami Art Museum, and has offered the institution a $35 million gift in exchange…
Richard Smith was admitted to North Shore Medical Center with complaints of shortness of breath and stomach trouble. Instead of giving him proper care, a nurse accidentally stuck Smith with a syringe full of pancuronium, one of the drugs used in lethal injections. Seventy-nine-year-old Smith later died, and now his family…
Not only did Miami Police Department officer Thomas Vokaty’s decision to pull over an FHP trooper stir the notion that there’s a simmering feud between the two law enforcement agencies, but as it turns out the FHP trooper he pulled over was just about the last one he should have…
Five suspected narcotraffickers from the Dominican Republic are en route to the Miami Federal Detention Center for allegedly smuggling cocaine across the Caribbean.In a strange twist, their arrest seems connected to $4 million — nearly 500 pounds — of yayo discovered on Tuesday inside a house belonging to well-known Puerto…
Sure, John Philip Stirling may be Canadian, but he’s also the most Miami-flavored drug smuggler to land in local federal court since the heyday of the Cocaine Cowboys. When he was caught at sea last week off Colombia with 800 pounds of coke, the good captain flat-out told the feds:…
Just in time for the holidays, the top brass at Jackson Health System have decided to cut 240 jobs from their rolls. That means 170 people are now out of work just weeks before the holiday season. The rest of the job cuts are made up by the elimination of…
Real estate listing supersite Trulia has compiled its first Metro Movers Report, based on data culled from page views of its site. The report shows where Americans are looking to move and where they’re looking to leave.Apparently Miamians have no intention of departing our warm weather, but they would like…
Today’s photo comes from SeanWasHere’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here, join our Flickr group. Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
Arthur Balom, an Opa-locka police captain, has been arrested on allegations he helped protect a South Florida drug ring and had knowledge of the murder of a Brinks armed truck guard that happened last year. The arrest was part of an FBI investigation. Three other men, members of the drug…
A national legal magazine for prisoners has filed suit against the Florida Department of Corrections, claiming it’s been censored from distributing in Florida prisons due to a vendetta by the state agency. According to a complaint filed today, the DOC has rejected Prison Legal News off-and-on since 2005 because of…
Back in the ’80s, Miami’s Channel 6 used to be a CBS affiliate with the call letters WCIX. Also, apparently, all of their reporters signed off with profanity-ridden slang catch phrases. Well, at least one did. And now, for some reason, more than two decades later, a blooper has hit…
The popularity of the U.S. Congress is at an all-time low. A recent CBS News/New York Times poll shows that just 9 percent of Americans approve of the federal legislative body. How bad is that? Well, just about the only thing Americans hate more than Congress is Fidel Castro…
