Miami Marlins President David Samson waded into hot water this week after he told a local business council that he thinks Miamians are stupid. Last night Samson talked with WSVN to clarify his remarks. Don’t worry guys, he doesn’t think Miamians are especially stupid. He wants to clarify that he…
After struggling for most of last night’s game against the Atlanta Hawks, the Miami Heat finally decided to stop dicking around and began to hit their shots and play their anaconda-style defense just in time to comeback from as much as 10 points and beat Atlanta 89-86.More importantly however, before…
You’re going to have to wait for that romantic cruise to Havana. Under President Obama, travel restrictions to Cuba have eased from the Bush years, with new air charters opening routes from Miami and Tampa and even Texas to the island. That thaw, though, apparently doesn’t include passenger boats.After more…
Peyton Manning is one fickle football bastard. Just hours after leaving the Indianapolis Colts in a teary press conference, the quarterback arrived in Miami on a private jet yesterday evening. But just as Dolfans and local media thought they had their hands on the NFL veteran, Manning called an audible, saying:…
Fresh off their devastatingly progressive move to legalize rabbit-dyeing, the Florida House passed another landmark law for human rights by banning, at last, state prisons from handcuffing pregnant women during live birth. Next on the agenda: Outlawing forced marathons for disabled veterans in jail and prohibiting wardens from pouring salt…
Despite the six years he spent in the federal pen, Chris Paciello has returned to reclaim his crown.
Are these man-on-man encounters actually happening on Miami buses?
Robert Andrew Powell, ex-New Times writer, chronicles soccer in deadly Juarez
Bungling criminal Miguel Esquilin dropped his booking photo while robbing a liquor store
So, state Rep. Luis Garcia was the Democrat who was supposed to take on scandal plagued Rep. David Rivera in November. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, buzz emerged that former Miami-Dade mayor Alex Penelas, also a Dem, was mulling entering the race (he’s talking publicly about it now, but has…
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When Rafael Quinones Jimenez arrived in Orlando on a flight from his native Guatemala on Friday, U.S. Customs inspectors noted that he was “very nervous and was sweating profusely.” For good reason. When they searched his luggage they found seven pounds of heroin disguised as candy lollipops.So how many licks…
This might be the first time anyone has ever been arrested as a result of using iPhone photosharing app Instagram. Though, this might be the first time anyone has threatened to kill police using the app.Daniel Jesus La Rosa, 25, has been arrested after posting a picture with a message…
Plum TV will live to see another day. After filing for bankruptcy earlier this year, the tiny cable channel aimed at the ultra-rich has now been bought by Joseph Varet and Morgan Hertzan, the original founders of another luxury cable network, LXTV…
In a smarmy speech before a group of Miami business leaders, Miami Marlins team president David Samson gloated about his success in wrangling taxpayer money in a sweetheart deal to build his team’s new stadium. Then he turned around and called the very people who footed the bill, Miamians, stupid…
Since taking control of the Miami Dolphins, team owner Stephen Ross has set his eye on a lot of things.He wanted a superstar coach with head coaching experience. He got an unproven offensive coordinator. He wants a Super Bowl. All he’s got is a first-round playoff exit. He wants public…
In the movies, the Mean Girls make fun of your outfit and steal your boyfriend. In Florida they pull a gun on you, ram you with their car, and demand money for going out…
Sure, it was the Nets. And sure, they’re amongst the worst defenses in the NBA. But holy shitsnacks, it was awesome seeing Chris Bosh back in the Heat fold, dropping his silky smooth jumpers in honor of his dearly departed GloJean and turning Kris Humphries into a human-sized lump of…
Think about all those times you were set to dye your pet rabbits pink and blue because it would be hilarious and great, only to look up the Florida state statutes and realize, “No! Dyeing bunnies is illegal in Florida, dammit!” Those dark days, thank God, may soon be over.The…
The first round of voting in our Miami Mascot Madness Tournament is now in the history books. On one side of the bracket we had two big blow outs. On the other side we had two face-offs that went down to the wire, with each mascot pulling ahead at one…
In April 2011, former Chicago Bears star Dave Duerson killed himself in his Sunny Isles apartment, his brain racked by football injuries. The once proud and successful businessman was six months into the bankruptcy process. His suicide– shooting himself in the chest to preserve his brain for dementia testing which…
A lot of kids grow up thinking they’re going to land work in something cool like the arts, entertainment, or sports, but most of end up working at, like, insurance agencies, retail management, or the news aggregation departments of the alternative press. Though, if you live in South Florida there…
