It may be the strangest DUI arrest report ever. It lists the male subject as just 5-foot-6 and 137 pounds. Occupation: Miami Killian High School student. And under last meal: “Seasonal/turkey, rice, mashed potatoes/Thanksgiving.”Meet Steven Wilson Duque: 14 years old and charged with driving while high on Turkey Day. Stranger…
The nearly two year drama involving the NCAA’s investigation of the University of Miami stemming from allegations made by convicted Ponzi schemer Nevin Shapiro may soon be coming to an end. According to the Associated Press, sources say the NCAA is close to wrapping up its investigation and may present…
A group of people who usually worship the Dark Lord of Hell will convene latter this month lend their support to the Dark Lord of Tallahassee.Yes, members of the Florida-based Satanic Temple will gather on the steps of the Governor’s office on January 25 to rally in favor of Florida…
While one Democrat in Tallahassee has already filed a bill that would significantly alter Florida’s controversial “Stand Your Ground” law, another one of his colleagues has now put forward a bill that would repeal the law completely…
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Walmart is still marching on with its plans to build a store in the heart of Midtown Miami, but has retreated a little bit to redesign the space. In an unusual move for the retail giant, the store’s new plans would include about 16,000 square feet of non-Walmart retail on…
Oh, sure, the Los Angeles Lakers may have put together a supposed superstar team by ripping away a few star players from smaller market team, but the Miami Heat’s LeBron James and Dwyane Wade say that the criticism the Lakers are receiving this season is nothing like what the Heat…
Steve Bolin now joins the likes of Evander Holyfield and Vincent Van Gogh as notable men who have lost their ears.Bolin, 53 of DeLand, Florida, was fighting with his girlfriend, 32-year-old Sarah Wulchak, when she decided to jump on top of him and bite off his ear…
For most of my life, every time I’ve walked into a gas station or a grocery store I’ve been greeted one way or another by the delightfully ’80s logo of the Florida Lottery. Most things have changed since 1988. That logo has remained a constant.Until now. The Florida Lottery logo…
Sorry recent University of Miami Alums, The Onion really doesn’t understand why even though you owe the school at least five figures in student debt, you still love it so much.In traditional satirical style, the paper introduced us to “Mark Felder,” a fictional ’07 grad who owes the school $50,000,…
Around 4 p.m. today, Florida governor and über-tool Rick Scott popped into the City of Miami Commission meeting to say “hello.” Why? We assume because it’s never too early to start campaigning for re-election.Introduced by Miami Mayor Tomas Regalado, Rick Scott spoke for about 30 seconds to tell everyone how…
Always careful to take up practical, non-partisan causes instead of throwing partisan bombs, Sen. Bill Nelson has made Florida’s invasive python problem one of his key issues. So now the man we’ve dubbed Senator Spacesnakes is actually taking on the problem directly. He’s joining Florida’s controversial python hunting challenge, and…
Today’s photo comes from Edinchavez’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
It’s not exactly news that Republicans have such a deep politi-crush on Marco Rubio that they’d like nothing more than to make him their 2016 nominee. Once again, Public Policy Polling has found that he’s Republicans top choice.However, PPP also ran a head-to-head poll matching up Rubio against Democratic favorite…
Mario Cristobal isn’t going far after his surprising firing as FIU’s head coach. He’s just headed to Coral Gables.According to reports, Cristobal will join Al Golden’s Miami Hurricanes staff as an associate head coach…
Loco Joe is back, baby.One of the City of Miami’s most infamous ex-mayors was shockingly appointed as the new city manager of Doral last night. He was nominated by Mayor Luigi Boria, and unanimously confirmed by the entire council after the briefest of discussions…
Unfortunately in Miami we’re all too familiar with bad service, ridiculous pricing and shady business practices, so to become Miami’s most hated industry you really, really have to go out of your way to be terrible.So congratulations vehicle repair shops of Miami-Dade County. You truly are the worst…
From the moment former Dolphins star Junior Seau took his own life last May, many questioned whether brain injuries linked to the dozens of concussions he’d suffered may have contributed to his death at just 43 years old.This morning, scientists at the National Institutes of Health have an answer: Seau…
Now that we’re firmly entrenched in another playoff season without the Miami Dolphins and the pain of Stephen Ross’s absurd season-ending press conference on Monday has faded, it’s the perfect time for a cold, hard, slightly inebriated look back at the 2012 season.Ultimately, it was yet another disappointing year as…
Bro, remember when Shit Miami Girls Say came out and Non-Miamians were super making fun of the way Miamians freaking talk, bro? That shit was super annoying bro. Especially the part when one of the girls says, “irregardless, I don’t care.” All the English language snobs were talking shit about…
When Miami Beach cop Derick Kuilan ditched his police ATV for some drinks at The Clevelander, his superiors were none the wiser (although maybe they should have been). As a result, Kuilan drunkenly jumped back on his ride with a bride-to-be and nearly killed a couple of beachgoers.Now cops are…
On opening night of Miami Book Fair International in October, former Miami Mayor Manny Diaz scored the gig of the weekend: interviewing Tom Wolfe onstage about his new Miami-set novel, Back to Blood. Before a packed house of power players and literary cognoscenti, Diaz set himself up as an independent…
