Players, ex-players and recently fired coaches are all reacting to the purge Bill Parcells has wrought upon the Dolphins. Perfect Season running back Jim Kiick said it was a good day in Dolphins history, “The changes had to be made,” he said. “I don’t think Cam was what they were…
Sweet God Almighty! I’m sorry, but this is the funniest fucking story ever — from beginning to end. Read it three times, people. It’s about a man who’s been running around the Florida panhandle abducting goats, “raping” them, and then strangling them to death. He’s no clumsy bumpkin, either. Apparently,…
1. Obama and Huckabee win Iowa Caucus – The results have pushed Obama to the front runner for the Democratic Party and demonstrated Huckabee’s appeal to conservative Christians, who launched him to the foreground in the race. 2. Miners come to the Everglades – Several mining companies have asked the…
BaracobamacameinfirstandHillarywasthirdbecauseEdwardswassecond andRomneygothisasskickedwontthatbeasurprisetothe guysbackinghiminmiami! Whew. Excuse me. The Iowa caucuses are over and done and the votes are in. Dems: Obama by 8 points, then Edwards by one point over Clinton. Republicans: Huckabee by 9, then Romney, but McCain looming in New Hampshire. Ron Paul, despite a whole lot of donations,…
When I first arrived in Miami, I was happy about all the coconuts. I bought a machete and looked forward to lavish coconut-splitting parties, involving rivers of rum and armies of women. The day never came. And now I hate the coconuts. They’re everywhere. And frankly, I’m beginning to think…
A cesspool of celebrities headed South for a New Year’s extravaganza full of drama, drinking, dancing and decadence hopping out of the cold and into what can only be referred to with as Miami slang, “fire.” Photo by Tracy Block Can you tell Jennifer Hudson is hiding some Cheeseburger Baby…
The Cam Cameron era is over. He and his talking penis have been fired. Bobby Knight and his friendship with Bill Parcells clearly wasn’t enough to save Cam’s ass from the inevitable. It’s 1-15 and done. It’s kinda sad, really. Like when a goldfish dies. You knew it was coming…
Behind the wheel, I obey traffic laws. On my bike, I pay respect to one law and one law only: survival. If I stop at an intersection, it’s because I’ll get hit if I don’t; beyond that, a red light just means I’d better look both ways before blowing through…
This Land Is Their Mine Filed under: News Get ready for some major, and maybe environmentally lethal, limestone excavation near the Everglades. To the dismay of homeowner and eco-activists, five rock mining companies have filed for permits with the Florida Department of Environmental Protection to extract limestone from more than…
Click here to download the PDF of the first half of our Dirty Dozen. Click here to download the PDF of the second half of the Dirty Dozen…
This past November 3, Pastor Simon Graves had a dream in which God’s giant hand reached into a towering downtown condo and plucked a plump politician from his bed. The round little man kicked, screamed, and showered coins all over town as the Lord carried him through the air toward…
I was resigned to defeat. I was sure my alma mater, University of Michigan, would lose by 20 points or more to the fast, option-running Florida Gators. I was so sure of certain defeat that as 1 pm. approached New Year’s day, I told my friend to hurry up so…
Back in my days at the Miami Herald, I loved the guys at Tropic magazine. They drank heavily, played ping-pong in the office, and cracked all kinds of jokes — dirty and otherwise. In short, they were (I say, completely lacking in humility) the New Times of their day. Tom…
With Randy Mueller no longer around, reports have been surfacing everywhere that Bill Parcells is targeting Dallas Cowboys VP of Scouting, Jeff Ireland (awkward looking gent shown above) to take over the GM job for the Dolphins. Ireland is highly regarded around league circles as a dude who knows his…
Bubblegum boys, Chace Crawford and Sean Pyfrom were partying it up at Mokai Sunday night with JC Chasez and a Brittany Snow look-alike Sunday night. As we all know, a plethora of celebs adorning everywhere from the A to D lists are in town for annual SoBe New Year’s Eve…
What I really, truly want in 2008, besides peace on earth and free beer, is a flying bike. But putting that dream aside for a few minutes, the Bike Blog has put together a slightly more realistic wish list for the coming year. Any suggestions, additions, or vitriolic ammunitions? Leave…
Hey everybody, only 147 people got killed locally this year, according to Miami-Dade police! That’s six less than last year! Awesome! –Calvin Godfrey…
What are you gonna do to ring in the New Year? Get drunk? Spend a bunch of money at a club? Shoot a gun in the air? Well fuck you. My man Chris (in the black wife beater) and everybody down on SW 27th street got up at the crack…
Cam Cameron is going to get fired. Not so much because he’s an idiot. But because he refused the will of God. Cameron defiantly decided against starting John Beck against the Bengals in the final meaningless regular season game and, instead, started Cleo Lemon because he gave us the best…
Most Viewed Sex Offenders Set up Camp – The New Times’ Isaiah Thompson broke this story about sex offenders being placed under the Julia Tuttle Causeway by probation officers. Dade Disclosure – A tale of an affair between two workers at the Miami-Dade County’s planning and zoning department, that led…
In my review last week of S & S Diner at Allen’s Drugstore, I wrote that “way back when our grandparents were eating better/worse than we, it wasn’t unusual to have eateries located within pharmacies”. Tim Hogle, owner of Tantra Restaurant & Lounge, saw the article and forwarded me this…
Last night, sometime after 6 p.m., Miami City Commissioner Michelle Spence-Jones and more than three dozen of her supporters engaged in a spiritual cleansing inside the New Providence Missionary Baptist Church in Liberty City. In case you are not up to speed, Spence-Jones is facing possible criminal charges based on…
