Michael Jackson’s Miami Gridlock Dance Off

It’s not news that Miami traffic can be a bitch. It’s one of the reasons we have the worst road rage in America. Perhaps we could all learn a lesson from Michael Jackson and local boy turned hack director Brett Ratner. When the unlikely pair got caught in gridlock, they…

News Roundup

Happy Veterans Day The Miami Woman’s Club is sorry about its history of racism. [Herald] Here is a story in a newspaper about a singing Hannah Montana Balloon. [Herald] Rumors of Matt Drudge’s demise have been greatly exaggerated. [Gawker] It’s the case of the deadly manicure, bacterial infections and all…

Dwyane Wade and the Miami Heat Overcome Slow Start, Giant Chinese Guy

The New Jersey Nets have been struggling with their three-point shooting all season. So, naturally, they decided to rain threes down on the Heat from every angle imaginable inside the American Airlines Arena last night, connecting on a season-high thirteen of them. Five of those three-pointers came from Yi Jianlian,…

Mickey Rourke Update

Okay, so yesterday we told you about Mickey Rourke’s propensity to duke it out. What we forgot to tell you is that the guy is a homophobe. When a reporter asked Rourke about a connection of actress Evan Rachel Wood, he exploded with the beautiful phrase: “Tell that faggot who…

Mickey Rourke Fled Miami Violence For Acting Career

Last week we pleaded with you to stop killing each other, but Miami’s history of violence has inspired at least one Hollywood career. “I found (myself) on the short end of a gunfight. (I was) only 18, and it was just some monkey business gone wrong – a drug-deal ripoff…

What’s Next for Mayor Diaz?

Riptide is of the opinion that Mayor Manny Diaz’s political career will be far from over when his final term runs up next year, if he so chooses. His term as President of the United States Conference of Mayors and speech at this year’s Democratic National Convention raised his profile…

Fauxbama Challengers Emerge

New Times hasn’t caught up with Miami’s own Fauxbama, Gerardo Puisseaux, since Tuesday’s election results but the Obama impersonator industry is already seeing the influx of a host of new entrants. Our favorite new Fauxbama comes from a user named AlphaCat on YouTube. Guy has the look and the voice…

Midtown Miami is a Sad Reminder of Crappy Economy

via Shop Midtown When the mega complex of Midtown Miami opened many worried it would stymie the growth of Wynwood’s art scene. How are artists supposed to meditate on all the darkness in the world when there’s a deal on 2 for 1 tube socks just a few block away?…

Over the Weekend – Crookers, Rufus Wainwright and Coldplay

Hey, cool weather, where did you go? It was a mildly warm and humid weekend, which, on the brightside, allowed for some poolside recovery Sunday after a crazy weekend of going to be after sunrise. Crookers at Heathrow Lounge Logan Fazio Can’t tell you how many times we’ve drunkenly sang…

A Shapeshifting Skyscraper in Miami’s Skyline?

Courtesy David Fisher It’s like a skyscraper that moves, man. A PR flak in New York left a cryptic voicemail on Riptide’s machine late last week: Florence-based superstar architect David Fisher is planning a “major press conference” in Miami on Tuesday, she said, to announce plans for a project here…

GOP Governors To Get Their Nails Did

Got her toes done up, wit her finger nails matching This week’s Republican Governor’s Conference in Miami will be one of the first major meetings among party powers to decide the future of that sad ol’ party. Though, this is Miami and the GOP knows it’s the best place to…

News Roundup

Hurricane Paloma destroyed some homes in Cuba, but as of yet no deaths. [NBC6] Amendment 3 officially passed. [Herald] I am officially no longer shocked and surprised when the Dolphins win anymore. They’ve returned to real football team status. [AP] FIU pulled out a bottom of the fourth win against…

Dolphins Hold Off Seahawks

In one of the ugliest wins of the season, the Dolphins showed us all what they are: scrappy, crappy, exciting, infuriating, imposing, cringe worthy, and pretty awesome all at the same time. Yet despite all the ugliness, the Dolphins were able to pull off the 21-19 win with a strong…

This Week Is One For The History Books

This week has been a very, very long week. There has been some shitty stuff, but never the less look people. Look at what we did! Here is this picture you have surely seen already everywhere to remind you. Enjoy the first weekend of the Fourth Republic. Riptide is going…

Weekend Football: Eh

Fins are on a role, Golden Panthers are in a rut, and the Hurricanes have a bye. We have had enough drama and triumph off the football field this week, so we don’t need, and don’t really expect anything super exciting this weekend. Seattle Seahawks at Miami Dolphins, Sunday 1:00pm…

Miami Blogdom As First Lady Fashion Critic

Now that the election is over the local political blogs have to find something else to comment on, and they decided to start with Michelle Obama’s dress designed by Narciso Rodriguez, a Cuban-American designer. Genius of Despair over at Eye on Miami called it a fashion faux pas, and wrote…

Republicans are Bald, Put On Your Whigs

“Madam, my whig has an H in it.” “Well, my wig has a cruise ship in it, so you best step up your game.” During the grueling Democratic primary, the Republican party was more than happy to sit back and watch the Dems tear their own party apart from the…

Actual Socialists Remind Us Obama is No Socialist

The good folk down at Versailles seemed absolutely sure that Obama was a total pinko. No one bothered to ask the actual pinkos what they thought of that, so we checked out the official statements on Obama’s election from the Party for Socialism and Liberation, The Socialist Worker’s Party, and…

News Roundup

Unemployment is the highest it’s been in 14 years. [CBS4] Oh, hells no! They want to raise the Alligator Alley toll to $3.75, and then at a rate of 3% or inline with inflation every year. [Herald] It’s been two years since the murder of UM football player Bryan Pata,…