Soup Nazi Hacker Makes Plea Deal

Albert Gonzalez, the Miami hacker who pulled off the biggest theft of credit card information in history, has reached a plea deal with the feds. He’ll get 15 to 25 years in prison. He’ll also return $2.8 million in ill-begotten funs along with some pricey personal property. He’ll plead guilty to 19…

305 Photo of the Day: Ladies of the Night in the Day

We checked in on our Miami New Times Flickr pool today and saw all sorts of new goodies from DCVision, AKA the photographer behind the Street — the tumblr that documents Miami’s ladies of the street. He is to Miami crackheads and hookers what the Satorialist is to European grandpa dandies and…

LeMieux Is the New Darling of the Homosexual Extremists

​Remember when Mel Martinez deemed his primary opponent Bill McCollum as the “new darling of the homosexual extremists?” Well, now he’s being replaced by the new new darling of the homosexual extremists. The combined forces of the Times/Herald are trying to stir up some controversy by dragging out quotes George LeMieux…

Did the Hurricanes Return to the Studio for a New Rap Song?

Remember “The 7th Floor Crew,” the raunchy nine-minute rap opus dedicated to gangbanging ladies, recorded by members of the University of Miami football team? Boy, do we, and it’s with a bit of trepidation we report that some are speculating a new rap song recorded by current Canes players has…

News Roundup

USL found a new owner yesterday, and it’s not Traffic Sports, owner of Miami FC. In fact, the ownership switch could result in FC’s demise. [Herald]Your Miami Dolphins beat the Tampa Bay Buccaneers 10-6, continuing their dominance of the preseason. [UPI]But don’t get too happy, because a troubling pattern is…

Miami Beach Rent-a-Cops March on Lincoln Road Today, Demand a Union

It’s not likely to draw quite as many stares as the topless protesters who paraded along Lincoln Road last weekend. But the SoBe security guards planning a march today have a much more compelling reason to demonstrate. The guards — those guys you see pedaling past on mountain bikes every…

Bucs vs. Fins: Meaningless Battle for Florida Preseason Supremacy

You might recall our “Weekend Football” blog column from last year. It was probably the most proudly ignorant thing ever penned about South Florida football anywhere. Well, with the NFL and NCAA regular seasons around the corner, it is time once again to force ourselves to catch football fever. Basically, we’ve…

HIV-Positive Cop Biter: Maybe He’ll Find Some Help in Prison

Yesterday, Johnson Jamerson, an HIV-positive drifter, was sentenced to 15 years for biting a police officer after threatening to infect him with the virus. The sentence seems stiff considering the CDC says biting “is not a common way of transmitting HIV.” In all recorded cases, the blood of the HIV-positive person…

UM Study: Massage Makes for Happier Mothers, Healthier Babies

The University of Miami invited 149 women between their fifth and seventh months of pregnancy to one of its many research labs and split them into two groups. One group totally lucked out and got two complimentary massages every week. Massages in the name of science. The other group was absolutely…

Magic City Kitty: My Man Wants More Meat in the Bedroom

Hello, Kitty: I’m gay and my boyfriend wants to add another man into our sex play. While I’m not totally against the idea of a threesome, I can’t help but feel he’s suggesting it because I’m not enough for him. We’ve been a couple for six years, living together for…

Miami Dolphins Partner with Ocean Drive for In-Stadium Club

The Miami Dolphins continue their embarrassing march toward all things ridiculously South Florida stereotypical and cheesy. Add an “exclusive, ultra-modern” nightclub cobranded with Ocean Drive magazine in the middle of the stadium to their dumb venue name, ever-growing list of celebrity owners, crappy collection of new theme songs, and Britto art…

News Roundup

A 50-foot yacht went up in flames yesterday on Biscayne Bay. [CBS4]A woman with amazing hair stole an ambulance yesterday. [Herald]Miami-Dade Transit got $64.5 million in stimulus money to use on the Metromover and Metrorail. [SFBJ]Driver’s license, tag, title, and registration fees are all set to increase beginning September 1…