Marco Rubio Key-Noted CPAC Now Co-Sponsored by John Birch Society

The John Birch Society is co-sponsering this years Conservative Political Action Conference. Don’t remember them? They’re the conspiracy-happy, paranoid anti-communist group that emerged in the late ’50s, and then preceded to circulate a letter calling Republican President Dwight Eisenhower, of all people, “a dedicated agent of the Communist Conspiracy,” had…

Top Ten New Times Feature Stories of the Decade 2000-2009

Miami New Times has kicked some ass in the last decade. We have changed the course of the city and it has changed us. What follows is a list of some of our most significant stories — of course, everyone has their own opinions. What are yours?Admitting TerrorBy Bob NormanThe…

News Roundup: Dwyane Wade is Smoother than Tiger Woods

Turns out that the EPIC hotel was not the sources of those strains of legionnaires disease after all. [AP]Looks like a group of banks are going to take ownership of ICON Brickell. [WSJ]The Fire Station on Key Biscayne is now closed two days a week, so do try and not…

Magic City Kitty: I’m in Jail. Can I Lock Her Down?

Hello, Kitty: I was with a girl for a very long time before my five years in prison, and we’ve stayed together. She loves me very much and has vowed she will stand by me until I come home, but a few days ago she told me she wasn’t happy…

Golf porn on ritzy Fisher Island

Raul Quintana skids his silver Mercedes C550 to a stop in the dirt parking lot outside the trailer housing the management offices of Fisher Island, one of the nation’s most expensive residential enclaves. Quintana’s salt-and-pepper hair is a mess, his green eyes flicker wildly, and spittle foams from the sides…

’72 Dolphins Advice to Saints and Colts: “Lose a Game”

The legend goes that every year the ’72 Dolphins pop a bottle of champagne when the last remaining undefeated team looses. Typically, at this point in the season that mythical toast would have come and gone by now. Somewhere, Mercury Morris is getting nervous.As anyone even vaguely paying attention to…

Scott Rothstein Almost Saved Us From Sarah Palin

South Florida attorney Scott Rothstein might have run a $1.2 billion Ponzi scheme and is, in general terms, a giant asshat with gaudy taste, but if he had his way, no one in the lower 48 would have ever heard of a certain pit bull in lipstick.Bob Norman at New…

News Roundup: So Many Thieves; The U Breaks ESPN Ratings Records

Feds yesterday arrested 30 people in three cities, including Miami, for Medicare fraud. Dr. Fred Dweck, 14 of his patients, and one unlucky guy who was photographed being handcuffed, man-tits and all, were among those arrested in Miami. [MLive | Herald]A thief is targeting churches and synagogues in Miami Beach and stealing audio equipment…

Wilhelmina Needs Help Choosing Next Hot Body

A month ago, the choosy choosertons from the Wilhelmina Modeling Agency hit SoBe looking for the next health-and-fitness model — AKA the next hot piece of tail — hot enough to rep the firm known as one of the most elite sources of the long, lean, and leggy. Entrants had…

Charlie Crist Orders Investigation Into Wafflegate

[jump] “I agree with the letter that was just received from Chief Financial Officer Alex Sink. Accordingly, I have directed Chief Inspector General Melinda Miguel to conduct an inquiry of the Department of Transportation,” Crist said in a statement.Meanwhile, we will eagerly continue to cover this scandal using the most…