Beware of what you see here in the Magic City: very little is real. The boobs? Nope. Those lips? Collagen-enhanced. Even that sweet Lamborghini is just a rental. We all know you ended up with the Datsun after your divorce.So it might not come as a shock that what little…
Picture this: Dozens of drug smugglers dance and drink outside a colonial-era farmhouse in a leafy countryside near Cali, Colombia. A salsa band provides the soundtrack for a bustling wedding party. “Mama always said, ‘Mouse and cheese are friends,’ ” go the lyrics, in Spanish. “Don’t trust anybody, because when…
Once every six weeks or so, a small, sober group of bureaucrats and cops gathers in a conference room in Tallahassee. Members of the group synch their iPhones to urbandictionary.com, bone up on the latest texting slang, and then laugh their asses off for an hour or two. They’re the…
Anyone who has ever insured anything — a car, a house, or, if you’re JLo, a sumptuously rotund rump — knows that insurance companies are about as trustworthy as automobile salesmen: You had better read the fine print lest the deal come back to kick you in the junk. As…
Punk rock blares from a car radio. Graffiti is scrawled on the sides of an empty fountain. A gaggle of teenagers, some sporting tattoos, others shaved heads or short Mohawks, are skateboarding, doing tricks along the fountain’s concrete ledge. Everyone is speaking Spanish. It could be Miami. But look closer…
For 24 years, Marion Schano and her husband Edward have owned an aviation business called Amtec Aviation Aerospace in Brownsville, a ‘hood west of Liberty City with a population of 14,000 and shrinking. It’s one of Miami’s poorest neighborhoods, and arguably its most blighted. It’s traversed by roving bands of…
Judge Spencer Eig this afternoon granted an emergency injunction to Dr. Michael Krop High’s basketball team, allowing the number-one-ranked squad to join three other teams in the playoffs despite eligibility issues surrounding 19-year-old guard Brian Delancy. Eig ruled that it would be “fundamentally unfair not to allow these students to…
Turns out that the Hurricanes will net a new QB this year after all: former Michigan starter Tate Forcier. He’s announced his decision to transfer to Coral Gables today. Forcier was a four-star recruit coming out of high school, but thanks to injuries and other complications failed to deliver for…
Rick Scott introduced his budget this Monday to cheers at a Tea Party event inside a Eustis, Florida, church. Back in the reality of Tallahassee, though, the new governor’s plans haven’t been greeted with much enthusiasm. Even Republican lawmakers aren’t sure it’s a workable budget. Scott is facing criticism that…
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Al Cardenas is one of Miami’s top political insiders. He’s a former two-term chair of the state GOP, and a former member of the nation-wide Executive Committee of the Republican Party. The guy even gave Marco Rubio his first break in politics. The Cuban-American has just been named the president…
Lil’ Wayne may be the rap world’s biggest bandwagon fan (how is a guy who grew up in New Orleans and spends his downtime in Miami Beach such a Packers fan anyway?), but apparently he’s now back on good terms with the Heat. All it took was a nod from King James…
Riptide is hopelessly addicted to diet soda. Hell, we had just downed a 20-oz. Cherry Coke Zero when we came across this latest study out of the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine: drinking diet soda daily increases your risk of suffering a stroke by 61 percent. It didn’t…
I’d always believed the old wives’ tale that journalists get tossed out of jury pools quicker than Liz Lemon in Princess Leia drag, so I almost dropped my book when Judge Nushin Sayfie called my name on Monday. Along with five other lucky citizens, I’d been asked to sit in…
The Daily Beast opens up its latest little listicle with this supposedly stunning little factoid: “In Miami, there are twice as many Burger King locations than tanning salons.” Of course, Miami is home to both the corporate headquarters of BK and the unofficial US capitol of natural sunshine, so that…
It may not being showing too much on the college field lately, but the University of Miami still has a knack for sending its players to the NFL. In fact, nine former ‘Canes have been invited to the NFL scouting combine. That’s more than any other school except for North…
Lets get ready to rumble! No seriously, we need to get ready to rumble. It’s just been announced that Miami is playing host to professional wrestling’s biggest event WrestleMania in 2012. It’s not quite another Super Bowl, but hosting the event means an economic boon for the city as well…
At three this afternoon at a Downtown courthouse, attorneys representing Dr. Michael Krop High will argue that the disqualification of one of the school’s basketball players over an immigration issue is illegal. Whether Florida’s number-one ranked high school team qualifies for the playoffs hangs in the balance. But Riptide has…
Three months ago Riptide reported that the Starlite Hotel on Ocean Drive was under investigation for bilking its employees. Now ex-Starlite employees say the hotel has finally coughed up the cash.”We got paid,” says Noah Bassham, who worked at the hotel’s restaurant for six months…
With investigations ongoing and more shady ethics charges mounting up, freshman Republican Rep. David Rivera might not even make it until 2012, let alone run for election. If he does, he’s in for one hell of a hard campaign. Politico has ranked the top ten most contentious house races for…
Today’s photo comes from Is_Jar (ctr)’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
State Senator Rene Garcia is our new hero. The Hialeah Republican has introduced a bill in the state legislature that would effectively ban the use of red light cameras and has called them a “big-brother initiative.” It’s probably one of the few times when a Republican from Hialeah and the…
