We know you, Miami. We know that you somehow manage to simultaneously believe in and not give a flaming end-of-the-world crap about the supposed apocalypse this Friday.In fact, we bet that the only way the upcoming Armageddon upset your week was to bump up your screwing schedule by a day…
Here’s the good news: the Miami Dolphins are not yet mathematically eliminated from playoff contention. Here’s the bad news: according to Sports Club Stats they have about a 0.6 percent chance of actually getting to the playoffs. In fact, of all teams that are still left in playoff contention, the…
In a state of 19.1 million people, only about 50,000 bothered to vote in the online contest to pick the next design of Florida’s default license plate. Probably because all of them were pretty bland and boring. Anyway, we now have a winner and it might have been our favorite…
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Steven Bauer, the Cuban-American actor best known for his roles in Scarface and ¿Qué Pasa, USA? was arrested yesterday by Sweetwater police on a 12-year-old outstanding warrant…
Welcome to the first annual WTF Florida Awards ceremony. It’s the only award show celebrating the special brand of bizarre depravity we excel at down here in the Sunshine State. Black tie isn’t required. In fact, jorts and a NASCAR cap are preferred.We’ll be giving away awards in four categories…
Miami-Dade Police have arrested 16-year-old Austin Lee Bowling for making threats to shoot up the Miami Lakes Educational Center on the one-week anniversary of the the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary in Connecticut. In addition to threats about shooting fellow students, Bowling also tweeted that he had no sympathy for…
An argument that started over bad service at a Little Caesar’s Pizza shop has lead to a shooting and a man claiming his innocence under Florida’s controversial “Stand Your Ground” law.Randall White, who is 49 years old, got angry when his vegetable thin crust pizza took longer than 10 minutes…
If your job is to run a department charged with protecting animal welfare, there are a few choice topics best left alone in conversations with your employees. Tijuana donkey shows are definitely on that list.Pinellas County’s Animal Services director, Phillip Morgan, learned that lesson the hard way. He’s resigned after…
Florida’s Stand Your Ground law has been a catastrophe, a Wild West throwback that’s let killers justify everything from shooting an unarmed teenager for playing loud music to murdering a pizza store customer for complaining about a slice taking too long. So really, if there’s one man we should consult…
Florida Gov. Rick Scott — a man who has signed laws forbidding doctors from asking about patients’ gun ownership and forcing municipalities to stop enforcing stricter local gun laws — was silent today about gun laws when asked about the Sandy Hook massacre…
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Victoria Jackson is a deranged, right-wing lunatic.Victoria Jackson is a deranged, right-wing lunatic. Victoria Jackson is a deranged, right-wing lunatic. Victoria Jackson is a deranged, right-wing lunatic. Victoria Jackson is a deranged, right-wing lunatic. Victoria Jackson is a deranged, right-wing lunatic…
Pinellas County Sheriff’s deputies were forced to shoot and kill a 60-year-old naked man who confronted them with a shotgun over the weekend.The incident occurred yesterday, and originally started as a domestic dispute. The man, Danny Meredith, got in an argument with his wife, 56-year-old Donna Meredith. Donna decided to…
Narcy Novack will spend the rest of her life in prison after being found guilty of hiring men to kill her husband, Ben Novack Jr., and her mother-in-law Bernice Novack. The victims were the son and widow on Ben Novack, the man who built Miami Beach’s famed Fontainebleau resort…
What happens when you put a bunch of Florida Republican reps up in Disney’s swanky Grand Floridian resort in Orlando? Apparently some drunken, rowdy nonsense. No one knows exactly what went down on a night in November, but Speaker of the House Will Weatherford says he’s looking into it…
When Craig Lowe won a run-off two years ago to become Gainesville’s first openly gay mayor, many hailed it as a landmark of tolerance in conservative Central Florida. But not the local county’s GOP chairman. He saw Lowe’s election, he says today, as a victory by a vast liberal conspiracy…
It’s a logic problem from hell. If GPS trackers are put on cop cars to make sure officers don’t go where they don’t belong while on duty, but the technology is never actually turned on, does it really exist?It does if taxpayers have already spent more than a half-million bucks…
Oh hooray! The Dolphins beat a pathetic two-win team to prolong our chances for an evenly average season. Fantastic. Ryan Tannehill played flawlessly, Reggie Bush threw down his anaconda sexual organ and the Dolphins trampled a pathetic Jaguars team 24-3. Woooooooooooo!…
A woman in Reddick, Florida, didn’t even have to open her front door to realize she had been robbed. That’s because thieves stole her driveway. Well, the brick pavers that made up the driveway to be exact…
Florida is on pace to become the first state to issue its one millionth active concealed carry permit sometime next week, as more than 167,000 permits are issued each year. Florida has already issued more concealed carry permits than any other state, and is set to become the first to…
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