Sunset Place, the South Miami open air shopping mall where teenage cliches go to die, was riled up today because a man was carrying an umbrella.Dozens of police and a SWAT team swarmed the mall because they thought the umbrella-carrying man was in fact holding a rifle…
It all started with Michael Jordan claiming yesterday that Kobe Bryant was a better player than LeBron James simply because he had more rings.James at first shook it off, but clearly he’s been thinking it over enough to realize that by Michael Jordan’s own logic, Michael Jordan would only be…
Today’s photo comes form MigRodzphotos’ Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
Sure, you might have been mad when the Marlins unloaded almost all of their stars on the Blue Jays, but how do you think the players felt? Jeez, they had to give up living in sunny Miami for frigid Canada.Jose Reyes was none too pleased with Jeffrey Loria after the…
So, the Flip Collective folks decided to combine cartography with Google’s autocomplete search function to have some fun. Florida is labeled “Crazy,” obviously. Because it’s a Friday and we had an extra ten minutes, we decided to apply this to Miami-Dade County and see what happened…
Hugo Chávez hasn’t been seen or heard from by the public since December 10, right before he underwent surgery in Havana, Cuba. Now, new pictures of the Venezuelan president have emerged, and they’re pretty oddly staged…
It’s official: Karlie Tomica will be charged with DUI manslaughter for the hit-and-run death of Shore Club executive chef Stefano Riccioletti. The self-described South Beach “Party Princess” will be in court today where she’ll officially be hit with the charges…
Florida’s legislature is not famous for passing competent, legally sound bills. (Remember when they tried to forbid doctors from talking to patients about guns and the courts were like, “LOL! First Amendment. No.” Good times.)Still, it takes a particularly dumb law to simultaneously piss off all of Canada and potentially…
Rejoice, everyone who frantically slams the gas whenever a yellow light pops up (AKA every single driver in Miami-Dade): A bill that would forbid cities from using red-light cameras narrowly passed its first test in Tallahassee yesterday. While Riptide supports any plan to ax the cameras, it’s worth noting that…
It turns out LeBron James is nothing like a box of chocolates, because you always know what you’re gonna get: no caramel, no coconut, just COBRADICK. LeBron James topped 30 points for the seventh consecutive game (all Heat wins) Thursday night, leading the Heat to a 110-100 win over the Oklahoma…
Looking for a good deal on a use car? Turns out you’re in the right place. According to a new study from CarGurus, the Miami area is the cheapest metro area in America to buy a used car. Though, the savings aren’t exactly huge…
Today’s photo comes from MigRodzphoto’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group.Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
Talk about trying to turn lemons into lemonade. Or at least into handsome water bottles to keep your lemonade cold.Yes, after Tuesdays’ embarrassing “Watergate” flap, Marco Rubio is now literally selling water bottles with his name on them…
Nothing quite says Miami suburbs like bad highway traffic and the word “bro.” Some anonymous Lothario took advantage of both to send the most Miami Valentine’s message ever to a lucky lady named Cathy. All of Miami is totally jealous of you today, Cathy. Maybe it’s not so great to…
During President Obama’s State of the Union address he honored Desiline Victor, a 102-year-old North Miami Beach resident who waited hours in line to vote, as a symbol of voter’s rights issues. Of course, leave it to Fox News to mock her.Fox and Friends’ Brian Kilmeade hosts a radio show…
Another reason why being chosen to give the State of the Union rebuttal is a thankless task: You’re guaranteed to get made fun of on The Daily Show.Or as Jon Stewart put it last night, “The State of the Union rebuttal is most often handed to a rising party star,…
Earlier this week, South Florida received news of Fidel Castro’s continued not-deadness with a mixture of apathy and anger. On the one hand, watching him proudly vote in the sham elections he instituted annoys the hell out of most Miamians. On the other hand, Fidel looked shrunken and wrinkled like…
Just over a year after American Airlines declared bankruptcy — costing 400 Miami employees their jobs and throwing Miami International Airport’s future as a global hub into question — the airline finalized an $11 billion merger with US Airways this morning.What’s that mean for MIA? At least in the short…
Today is Valentine’s Day, or, as it might as well be known, “Singles are expected to feel shitty about themselves day.” The image of single people sitting at home crying while downing a double bottle of pinot grigio is almost as much a Valentine’s Day cliché as boxes of chocolate,…
Outlaw Biker, Thor Hansen, CIA, Haitian Dissidents
Marco Rubio Loves Tupac and Terrible EDM
Miami Man Says Soho Beach House Tried to Ban Him After Valets Wrecked His Porsche
Soho Beach House Valet Porsche Crash Ban
