Like most lifelong Marlins fans, Dan Barton feels like team owner Jeffrey Loria spent the offseason repeatedly kicking him in the junk. So the 25-year-old and three of his friends showed up at last night’s home opener with some homemade signs and T-shirts — “Free the Marlins” and “F Jeff”…
For the past 25 years, our Best of Miami issue has been telling you about our town’s greatest places to get drunk, eat barbecue, dance your pants off, and pretty much do all the other things that make life in Miami worth living. But here’s the thing: We need your…
If you live in South Beach, chances are you’ve seen Alex Mesa. He’s the 44-year-old, neon-clad Colombian guy whose passion is jogging backward. Mesa runs all over SoBe the wrong direction, drawing honks, stares, and — today at least — a 911 call and a citation from police.Mesa complains that…
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Monroe County Deputy Jaime Miranda pulled into a Winn-Dixie parking lot Saturday night and left with a whole lot of beef — the kind of beef that will get you a crapload of time in the joint. Miranda is accused of buying drugs from an informant, all while in uniform…
How does one best celebrate the 500th anniversary of Ponce de Leon’s discovery of Florida? By retracing his epic journey via Jet Ski, of course! Álvaro de Marichalar, a man already famous for pulling off a Rome-to-New York trip via Jet Ski, is trying to do just that.After a reception…
Kimberly Noelle Martin just wanted to use the bathroom, but the strong arm of Kangaroo Gas station attendants had different plans. Police were called by an observant Kangaroo employee who noticed Martin pulling into the station all Crazy Taxi-like with three kids in the backseat.Martin later blew .210 on a…
Miami voters are one step closer this morning to getting the chance to weigh in on whether their tax dollars should go toward another big-ticket stadium project. Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Giminez announced that the city and the Miami Dolphins have agreed on a basic “framework” for a deal that would…
Hope you’re psyched for Opening Day, Miami! Your hometown Marlins are off to a roaring start. If by “roaring,” you mean they’re tied for the worst record in baseball, have scored just 14 runs in six games, and are so desperate for a first-baseman they held open auditions yesterday, that…
Last week, T. D. Allman sent Florida the worst birthday card ever. The author’s widely shared column in the New York Times trashed Ponce de León and bemoaned celebrations of his “purported discovery” of the peninsula in 1513 as a “fiesta of illusion.” OK, so Ponce was a racist, imperialist…
Florida Senator Bill Nelson finally got around to supporting gay marriage last night by penning a brief, sort-of-uncomfortable editorial for The Tampa Bay Times. Don’t expect him to talk much more about it, though, because today he’s gone back to talking about one of his favorite subjects: space shit!Today he…
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A 56-year-old married Las Vegas man only identified as “H.T.” decided to add some spice to his life, so he paid for a membership to SugarDaddyForMe.com and began talking to who he thought was a hot, blonde, 21-year-old Florida co-ed. Instead his online fling was actually with Stephanie Starling, a…
You see more cars stripped of their tires and left on cinder blocks by thieves in bad movies and car insurance commercials than you do in real life. So it’s not exactly the type of thing you’d expect to go down in Coral Gables, let alone right in front of…
The horrifying wrong-way crash that killed four people and snarled traffic for hours on I-95 Wednesday is beginning to look worse and worse for the troubled Opa-locka Police Department. Though city officials have denied that Cpl. Sergio Perez pursued a suspect well out of his jurisdiction onto the highway in…
Beyoncé and Jay-Z seem to be having a lot of fun in Cuba this week. Strolling through the streets of Havana with big smiles, apparently without a worry in their heads that their mere presence would be seized upon by the communist Cuban propaganda machine.Right on cue, the top Cuban…
Donna Shalala is done messing around. This morning, the University of Miami dropped a 45-page bomb on the NCAA, detailing the dozens of reasons why the school believes the Nevin Shapiro case should be dropped. You’ve already heard most of the juicy parts: Nevin’s attorney getting paid by the NCAA…
Forgive Bill Nelson for taking his time. After all, the issue of gay marriage had nothing to do with his preferred issues of space and snakes.Ever a moderate, Nelson had stuck to a low-key position supporting civil unions. Apparently the 70-year-old senator finally realized he was just one of seven…
Sure, the ‘Canes might not have made it as far in the tournament as your Miami pride and/or bracket would have hoped, but luckily head coach Jim Larranaga still managed to storm through the competition in the race for the AP Coach of the Year award.See also:- Miami Hurricanes Basketball…
Beyonce and Jay-Z are dangerously in love, and are apparently celebrating their fifth wedding anniversary possibly illegally. The two were spotted in Havana, Cuba, yesterday, which, you know, might be against U.S. law…
A full 2,013 years after he apparently sent us his only son, God has decided to send his pet goldfish to Central Florida.Patti Burke, a Brevard County resident, believes that an odd imprint she found on a Goldfish cracker is actually a sign from the almighty himself…
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