Florida Gov. Charlie Crist’s plan to buy U.S. Sugar for $1.75 billion has been described by Florida newspapers as “bold,” “ambitious,” and “grand.” Now it’s time to throw “stupid” and “irresponsible” into the mix. It’s true that the deal, in its broad strokes, might look like a masterpiece. It will…
Pompano Beach residents have the filthiest fucking mouths in the whole state of Florida. Well, maybe not mouths, but fingers. That’s confirmed by Google Trends, a search tool that allows users to see which countries, states, and cities are typing in certain terms. And North Broward web users have been…
It was supposed to be a night to remember for Marlins All-Star second baseman Dan Uggla. Instead, it was a night fit for several shots of Schnapps with a Vicodin chaser. In what ended up becoming the longest All-Star game in history, Uggla had himself the roughest night imaginable going…
The concept took shape over a couple of beers. Mustaches, the recent college grads decided. We definitely need mustaches. The tall skinny fellow could be Luigi; the squat round one Mario. And the architect of the whole scheme – well, he’s Donkey Kong, of course. How is it possible that…
Hello, Kitty I’m in a top-secret relationship with a man whom my family thinks is a deadbeat, and my friends think is an all-out loser who isn’t worth a second of my time. These things may be true sometimes, but no matter what, he’s the father of my child I…
Miami’s Saturday morning Critical Mass celebrated its second anniversary this weekend with a surprise visit from City of Miami Mayor Manny Diaz. The ride included a picnic at Peacock Park at which the Mayor greeted a posse of fifty bicyclists to partake in vegan cupcakes, freeze pops and cheerful bicycle…
The rain wasn’t enough to deter locals from going out this weekend. And with some much to do, who can blame them? Warped Tour, Zo’s Summer Groove and Wynwood Art Walk were just some of the bigger events that happened, but the real highlight was the first in a series…
Dwyane Wade’s addition to the ZSG team had a super-strong impact on this year’s turnout. Don’t be so modest, D. We’re now mid-July, and for Miami natives and NBA appreciators, that means Zo’s Summer Groove is back in action. In addition to a lineup of celeb-infused events for the four-day…
A couple weeks ago, a 20-something named Roy Rodriguez phoned the political group Little Havana for Obama to ask for a bumper sticker. A man with a Cuban accent answered the phone and told him, with sass, “No stickers. But Obama will be back soon. He’ll call you back.” That…
Within minutes of meeting Maria — my waxer-to-be at the Medhur Day Spa — she had me lying on my back with two wooden sticks pointing out of my nostrils. The ends of those sticks had been dipped in hot wax, which she then pushed into my virgin nose-holes with…
Hello, Kitty I’ve been living the bachelor life for as long as I care to remember, but when I watched my youngest son get married last month it kind of got me thinking about settling down. I’m 48 and have more than a few women in my life, but I…
Scott Olsen It seems as if the Marlins’ Scott Olsen hadn’t won a game since Indiana Jones was in theaters. Oh wait. Since wrestling star Hulk Hogan was garnering headlines. Nope. Uh, since Sting and The Police last had a world tour. Damn it! It’s been a long time since…
With camera in hand, Momoko Sudo headed from her Schenley Park home to the Biltmore Hotel gym for her morning workout. It was June 10, and the sun was bursting through the clouds after an early-morning shower. The demure 39-year-old Japanese artist paid particular attention to the raindrops on the…
The Witch’s Way Natacha Seijas is at it again. By Francisco Alvarado The Wicked Witch of West Miami-Dade appears to be casting evil spells again. Lourdes Aguirre, a Miami Lakes businesswoman who is challenging county Commissioner Natacha Seijas in the August 26 election, claims Seijas — through an emissary —…
Around 2 p.m. December 12, 2002, Mercedes Hernandez dialed her son George Collazo’s cell phone. It went straight to voicemail. That was odd. He always answered. Then the 60-year-old, blond, brown-eyed mortgage broker tried to reach her nephew, Michel Aleman, who was with George. Again, no answer. So she drove…
So when The Miami Herald starting throwing down the ax last month, one of those casualties was copy editor Brayden Simms. He had only been hired full-time back in February, so it was no surprise that he got his walking papers (er, well maybe to him it was). But leave…
Hello, Kitty I was trying to get over my ex-boyfriend when I met my new friend, but now I can’t get her off my back. I met her at Target, and in the beginning we really enjoyed spending time with her – in the bed and out. This was my…
The Cuban government’s policies on their gay citizens have been in the news quite a bit these days. Mariela Castro-Espin, daughter of the famed Fidel, successfully fought for approval of government-funded sex change operations in the country, a startlingly progressive shift in attitudes. They even had a gay pride parade…
The M-Path offers an often adventurous north and south passage. Broken pavement, unspecific route signs and herds of careening vehicles intersecting the path create challenging obstacles. Bicycling commuters cannot simply zone out in the monotony of traffic like their vehicular counterparts. Sporadic and inattentive cross traffic requires alertness; drivers often…
Arms dealers in South Florida? Is this déjà vu all over again? We truly are America’s Casablanca. The U.S. attorney in Miami just issued this release. Boy oh boychicle. First there was the South Beach party boy and his crappy weapons sold to the U.S. military and now this. War…
Hanley Ramirez It’s about time the rest of the world got exposed to the sheer awesomeness that is the Florida Marlins’ Hanley Ramirez. Yesterday it was announced that Ramirez will be the starting shortstop for the National League in next week’s All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium. Ramirez beat out the…
The 4th of July weekend was a wet one, with sporadic downpours popping up at inconvenient times. Going to the beach was a gamble, as no one knew whether to bring sunblock or an umbrella. But it was the sudden storm right after sundown on the 4th that probably caused…
