Albert Cutié Gets Hitched in a Courthouse

 After all that deception, Alberto Cutié has finally been made an honest man. NBCMiami reports that Cutié and his girlfriend Ruhama Canellis were married today in a Coral Gables courthouse. A courthouse? Apparently Cutié wasn’t ready to get hitched in an Episcopal church. (Update: apparently there will be a religious service at a…

SoBe Entertainment Sues WWE’s Big Show for Big Sum

Paul Wight is known as one of the biggest men in wrestling, with a billed height of seven feet and a weight of 485 pounds. Wrestling in WCW as “the Giant” and WWE as “the Big Show,” he captured the heavyweight title in both, and SoBe Entertainment hoped to expand…

Kendall District Police Officer Dies in Car Crash

Giovanni Gonzalez, a 23-year-old Miami-Dade Police officer in Kendall, died this morning when his marked patrol car collided with a dump truck while traveling southbound on Florida’s Turnpike near SW 152nd Street. The vehicles collided at 4:07 a.m. Miami-Dade Fire Rescue arrived at the scene shortly thereafter. Firefighters cut through…

Cat Killer Brings out Miami’s Feline-Lovin’ Sadists

Watch more Comedy Central videos on AOL Video So on Sunday, cops arrested the alleged cat killer, a clean-cut kid who likes to blow shit up and has friends that call him “niggercake” but otherwise seems nice enough. The exposure of Tyler Weinman has simply given a face to the…

New York Steals Miami’s “Angriest Drivers” Crown

For the past four years, Miami has reigned supreme as the U.S. city with the angriest and most aggressive drivers, but not anymore. According to Reuters, New York City has stolen our crown. This year, we didn’t even make the top five; we placed seventh. Which is still to say drivers…

Swine Flu Claims First Miami-Dade Death

The H1N1 virus has claimed its first death in Florida and Miami-Dade County, killing a 9-year-old, according to the Miami-Dade County Health Department.  The total number of confirmed swine flu cases in the county now tops 143. The state’s count is up to 417.  Nationally, the virus is said to…

News Roundup

Local In Miami Beach, a police officer shot and killed Husien Shehada, suspecting he had a gun. Then the cop arrested his brother, but family and friends think the reasoning doesn’t line up. [Herald] A class-action lawsuit filed in Miami asks that “phantom fees” be returned to Bernie Madoff’s victims…

Miami Beach Chicken Lovers, Unite!

If flocks of chickens suddenly grow the size of buildings and take over the world, Miami Beach residents better run for cover. The angry fowl would stomp with a vengeance to homes of city commissioners, peck off their roofs, and set fire to an ordinance on their doorsteps. Why? Well,…

Marco Rubio Backed By Most Ridiculously Conservative Sitting Senator

Hey now, not every Republican Senator is ready to warmly welcome Charlie Crist into his or her little club. Nope. Jim DeMint, the junior Senator from South Carolina, is ready to endorse Crist’s fledgling primary opponent Marco Rubio, according to Politico, at least.  Lets see what wonderful things Sen. DeMint stands for. …

Supreme Court Won’t Take Cuban Five Case

Today was the day the Supreme Court decided if we are all — in the words of my editor, Chuck Strouse — “scum-sucking Cuba haters.” Apparently, we aren’t. The court declined to hear the case of the Cuban Five, who claim their 2001 trial and conviction for spying for the Cuban government was…