Five Best Concerts in Miami This Week

Monday has just come and gone. But there are plenty of great ways to pretend it’s the weekend, starting as soon as tonight! Tons of great musical acts are laying down the grooves Tuesday through Saturday. A lot of great local talent will be showing off their stuff, and a…

Who Wants Free Tickets for Dick Dale at Grand Central Miami?

How did Dick Dale (AKA the Grandaddy of Shred) finally stop setting speakers on fire? “With the output transformers that Leo Fender and I built together,” the 75-year-old King of Surf Guitar explained to Crossfade, “and the 15-inch D130 speakers. “Back then, the transformers were 10, 12, and 15 watts…

Sweatstock 2013: Beatmachines and Otto Von Schirach!

It wouldn’t be Sweatstock without some good old-fashioned Miami freakiness. Maybe in Canada the music festivals end with handshakes and strangers gently complimenting each other on their felt hats. But this is Miami, where nothing’s over until it has weird, probably videotaped sex with you. And Sweatstock 2013 was no…

Coachella 2013: The 10 Worst Moments of Weekend Two

Native American Headdresses These have still not gone away. In fact, one particularly irritating woman (not pictured) wore a towering feather mohawk weave, a sartorial statement that combined racism with rave gaudiness. On Friday, she pushed her way in front of us, obstructing our and everyone else’s view of the…

Sweatstock 2013: ANR, This Heart Electric, Testokra!

Sweatstock is for lovers. Lovers of independent music and record stores, yes. But also lovers of drunken groping before the sun has fully gone down. A good chunk of the attendees of Sweatstock 2030 were conceived indoors (and out) this weekend, spurred on by a hurricane season clothing-optional dress code,…

Coachella 2013: The 13 Best Moments of Weekend Two

The Visual Stimulations for People Who Were High Coachella’s art installations — the ones designed to impress you while you’re high, aka all of them — were particularly impressive this year. There was the tesla coil, the crane that was formerly a flower but now a praying mantis, the giant…

Sweatstock 2013: World of Shit, Nunhex, Beastplague!

Put another Sweatstock in the wrinkly, rain-faded books. The fourth installment of Sweat Records’ anniversary party and Record Store Day celebration played out on three stages in Little Haiti. But it’s not just good times and dancing in the intermittent sun. It is also bleak, stomach-turning angst inside Churchill’s, Miami’s…

People Smuggling Drugs Into Coachella 2013, From Shoe Stashes to Marijuana Bras

If you were at Coachella, chances are you experienced full-throttle security measures attempting to snatch any drugs. As usual, these included three tiers of security checkpoints, at which eventgoers were frisked and searched. It can all feel a bit personal, particularly considering that drugs and Coachella are practically synonymous. But…

Florida Bans EBT Welfare From Strip Clubs and Bottle-Service Party Palaces

It is a dark day for booty- and bottle-poppin’ EBT welfare ballers in the FLA. Following a Thursday vote in the Florida house of representatives, Electronic Benefit Transfer cards are now prohibited “from being accepted in certain locations” like the strip club “or for certain activities” like buying booze. Sponsored…

Rock ‘n’ Roll’s Seven Baddest Chicks

Rock ‘n’ roll is dirty business. It’s made of spit and blood and piss and drugs, smeared lipstick and dirty laundry and stale beer. When you’re a rock ‘n’ roller, your hair gets sticky, you smell bad, and you can’t remember what day it is. Some would say it’s no…

Baauer (and “Harlem Shake”) Coming to Grand Central Miami on May 18

“Drink lots of water.” That’s just a lil’ piece of practical Twitter advice from EDM meme megastar Baauer for any of y’all beat freaks planning to spend a whole night raving, raging, and “Harlem Shake”-ing. Especially when he arrives to “ey, ey, ey, ey, shake, ta, ta” at Grand Central…

Sweatstock 2013’s Full Lineup and Set Times

Go wild in the streets! Score swag! Mosh! In exactly 49 hours, everyone’s favorite Little Haiti music shop, Sweat Records, will be celebrating Sweatstock 2013, its third annual one-day music fest, anniversary party, and Record Store Day bonanza. There will be limited-edition RSD releases, indie music, sweet munchies, indie music,…