Hungry at the Wolf

“Think about all the places we find propaganda right under our noses,” reads a coffee mug for sale in the Wolfsonian design museum’s Dynamo Café. “Like coffee cups.” It’s a reminder of the Wolf’s old days. Before heir Mitchell Wolfson Jr. gave his eccentric private collection to the State of…

Unreal Food

Totally trashing an eatery is generally neither fun nor fair. But one thing that does justify joyful decimation is when a restaurant undeniably demonstrates deliberate disrespect for diners. And that’s a fair description of the experience two dining companions and I had recently at Cheli’s Café. After a brief initial…

Borscht Belt on the Beach

Each year Sunny Isles Beach welcomes more than a million vacationers to its two-and-a-half-mile stretch of fine sand and sparkling waters. When a Russian company began building apartments in the area in 1996, the City of Sun and Sea also began welcoming a substantial influx of folks from that country…

Dinner for Dummies

Please don’t try this at home. If your IQ rivals that of the season’s favorite feathered bird and you fear being able to fry one without inadvertently setting alight to your person, children, home, pet, and/ or relatives, listen up. Miami-Dade Fire Rescue staged a fiery little demo this past…

Sushiless Elegance

“To tattoo something on your body for the rest of your life without knowing it means ‘trash can lid’ or ‘dog taco pants’ is stupid.” That’s a sound piece of advice offered by a Website specializing in “100 percent accurate kanji translations,” kanji being a Japanese ideographic symbol representing an…

Where Cod Is God

It seems Portugal has never quite gotten out of the shadow of its bigger, more renowned, more influential Spanish neighbor. Think Sonoma to Napa, St. Paul to Minneapolis, Shrub to Darth Cheney. It’s too bad, really, because Portugal is a fascinating country in its own right, with a distinctive culinary…

Good Move

Now that the performing arts center is finally operational, how soon will it be before the rest of the much-vaunted downtown Miami gentrification process happens? How soon until the area becomes a genuine 24/7 urban center with relatively sophisticated people walking the streets and enjoying nice restaurants and civilized amenities…

A Japanese Gem

If you were to visit Hiro’s Yakko-San once a week and sample five items each time, it would take seven and a half months to taste every offering (and you’d still miss some of the specials that change nightly). I don’t make it to this Japanese restaurant nearly that often,…

Dirty Laundry

Side of infighting optional Brenda Khan, manager of Renaisa Indian Restaurant, was less than enthused over a recent review and hasn’t been shy about letting me, and my New Times editors, know about her displeasure. Her emails have objected to the way the write-up, a dual review of both Renaisa…

Tepid Pepper

Just a few days ago, my wife and I were sweating under a relentless sun in the dusty little Yucatecan village of Tikul, sitting at a Formica-top table in some nondescript dive. A halfhearted slo-mo ceiling fan above us mocked the concept of cool as I reached, again and again,…

Tasty Crepes

The recipe for successful crêpes is easy: eggs, milk, flour, a little butter or oil. Cook in a nonstick skillet or one of those odd-looking French crêpe pans that resembles an upside-down pot. The recipe for a successful crêpe restaurant … well, that’s a little more complicated. French Box Café,…

What’s for dinner?

The Sneaky Kitchen is a lot like your grandmother’s house: full of recipe cards, Tupperware, and old stories. Its founder, Bess Metcalf, has lived in Miami for over forty years, likes to cook, apparently sells Tupperware, Fuller brushes, and Avon products, and has a lot of stories to tell about…

Doubly Bubbly

“Write what you know” is probably the most common advice given to would-be scribes. And despite the initial impressiveness of menus that rival War and Peace in size and scope, it’s darn good advice for chefs too. The temptation to try to be all things to all people invariably results…

Luna Rocks

Tom Billante can’t stop opening restaurants. Ever since founding the Ferrari’s chain of Italian cafeterias in the 1970s (which was later sold to Cozzoli’s), he has teamed with family members and other partners to launch one eatery after another along South Florida’s east coast (and his former, once flourishing Mezzanotte…

A Grill with Cheap Thrills

Most diners, including reviewers, are sensible enough to take cost into consideration when reflecting upon a restaurant meal. If served, say, a savory but less-than-stellar sirloin for $15, we are apt to cap any negative judgment with a modifying sentiment: “It might not be the best steak I’ve ever had,…

Pretty Patties

In the beginning, there was the hamburger, a simple round of chopped beef slipped into a soft white bun. And the hamburger begat the cheeseburger, which begat the double cheeseburger with large fries, which begat the turkey burger and the tuna burger, the mushroom burger and the veggie burger. And…

Blog of the Day

wtf Dogma Grill? Critical Miami wants to know. The Miami eatery has successfully sued a hot dog establishment with a similarly punny name: Hot Dogma. The location of this weiner warehouse? Pittsburgh…

Texaco Transformation

The building at 9851 Kendall Drive used to be just another gas station, contending with the Shell station across the street and the Chevron on the corner. But intrepid entrepreneur Michael Touma saw opportunity when the skyrocketing gasoline prices and glut of competition overwhelmed the Texaco station. He removed the…

Blog of the Day

What is a real Grove restaurant?Coconut Grove Grapevine asks the question today: “If a tourist asked you which restaurant in the Grove actually says ‘Coconut Grove,’ which would it be?”…

Post-Post Depression Syndrome

If I sound a sardonic note or two in this review, it is likely because of my current battle with PPDS, or post-Post depression syndrome. Although affecting only a minuscule segment of the population, PPDS is highly prevalent among those who have dined at Post Restaurant and Lounge. Symptoms include…

Three and a Half off 441

Elsie is standing behind the counter of LC’s Roti Shop, explaining that when the neon signage outside was first erected twenty years ago, “they charged by the letter, so I shortened my name to LC.” The little storefront shanty has hardly changed a whit since — it still has more…

Borderline Mexican

It’s a corporate world and we just live in it. Art, music, literature, film — not to mention daily minutiae such as toothpaste and automobiles — are conceived, packaged, promoted, and sold by gigantic, faceless entities that have all the conscience of a great white shark and all the commitment…