Oscar Wilde once said, “Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.” And since your artistic abilities are nonexistent (besides drawing a bath and “painting a picture” with your long-winded descriptions), you gotta find a way to lose and find yourself. Try Handmade. Opening tonight,…
Va va voom Every now and then, my job brings me closer to my idols. Unfortunately, most of my idols are dead. Still, through interviewing Damian Marley or Ferdie Pacheco, I have learned a little more about Bob and Muhammed Ali. I gained far more insight that I expected from…
What could be scarier than yet another PG-13 creepfest serving up pasty, staggering ghouls with stringy hair? Why, the same PG-13 creepfest set against the high-tension backdrop of … sunflower farming! Sorry, fear fans, if you were expecting a Ferry-Morse catalogue of floral fright from The Messengers, the latest Hollywood…
Epic Movie The speeds of sound and light remain constants, but the speed of crap accelerates like a rocket luge on Crisco Mountain. Seriously, the daddy of the spoof-movie genre, 1980’s Airplane!, stocked its pop culture arsenal with references to 1957’s Zero Hour, 1970’s Airport, and 1975’s Jaws. By contrast,…
Sin Full Heaven: The third installment of Ricky J. Martinez’s Island Trilogy is a good example of everything that can go wrong with homegrown, indie theater. The writing is a mess of clichés and hideously tortured sentence structures (Q: “Haven’t you kissed women before?” A: “Never the lips of an…
During a recent visit to Gary Nader Fine Art, a forklift weaved perilously close to pricey marble and bronze sculptures in the main gallery. The driver was hauling several crated Pablo Atchugarry works to a loading dock where a truck waited to transport the Uruguayan’s striking Carrara pieces to their…
“People Under the Stairs” and “Vacuuming Gave Me Carpal Tunnel”: Locust Projects cobbled “People Under the Stairs” in a fortnight, and despite the rush, the show fires on all cylinders. A quartet of locals tinkered with illusions of depth in the gallery space, at times tilling the field of commonplace,…
The Science of Sleep (Warner Bros.) Feature films are to video directors what sitcoms are to stand-up comedians, and for every David Fincher and Seinfeld, there are dozens of artists who should have stayed in the field they know best. Michel Gondry, who made his name directing fantastic videos for…
Explaining the appeal of the WarioWare series is like trying to describe a fever dream: It doesn’t make sense unless experienced. Nevertheless, here goes: Mario’s bizarro-universe twin, the greedy Wario, has invented over 200 absurd micro-games in a scheme to get rich and corner the videogame market. Quantity is job…
Alfred Hitchcock: The Early Years of the Master of Suspense (Lions Gate) All Quiet on the Western Front (Universal) Anything but Love: Volume One (Fox) Arabian Nights (Universal) Best Picture: Academy Award Winners Collection (Paramount) Boynton Beach Club (Sony) Charmed: The Complete Seventh Season (Paramount) Cinderella III: A Twist in…
It’s easy to hate Valentine’s Day. The weight of expectation hangs in the air every February, and the pressure on your wallet mounts as the day draws near. Store shelves creak under the weight of prepackaged floral arrangements and heart-shape boxes. But what if your lovah is one of those…
Miami is among the healthiest cities in America, so considering the consistent availability of deep-fried empanadas, locals must love to work out. If your current exercise ritual is beginning to bore you — or, gasp, you’ve hit a plateau — run, jog, or walk to a computer and join the…
For those who have agonized in front of a mirror, wondering whether your ass was too fat to shake on South Beach, “The Model at Hand” should inspire you to get that rump rolling without shame. Busting out tonight at 7:00 at ArtCenter/South Florida, the exhibit features work by resident…
Chocolate and wine are essential for the romantic’s favorite day of the year, and if we may, we suggest a third addition to that list: curiously strong mints. If you want your evening to conclude with a goodnight kiss and then some, bypass the typical menthol candy and chewing gum…
Several story lines surrounding the Heat might draw you to today’s matchup against the San Antonio Spurs at the American Airlines Arena (601 Biscayne Blvd., Miami). Can Dwyane Wade summon the heroics to defeat one of the Western Conference giants? Can Shaq, after all of his injuries, still handle Tim…
Close your eyes and imagine what Dinner in Paradise might taste like. The feast would likely include the freshest vegetables, the most succulent meats, and a heaping helping of manna for dessert. There won’t be any miraculous flakes from the sky served tonight at Paradise Farms, but host Michael Schwartz…
Giselle is a timeless ballet that has inspired audiences for nearly two centuries with its story of lost innocence and unrequited love. It’s the tale of a youthful servant girl who falls for a nobleman disguised as a peasant. She dies of the proverbial broken heart after learning of her…
Eighty-eight percent of the nation’s cut flowers come in through Miami International Airport. Baby’s breath from Ecuador, roses from Colombia, asters from Costa Rican, and orchids from Thailand will all be deposited, inspected, and – if need be — fumigated in a warehouse right off of our airport’s busy tarmac…
Did you know that rhinos have sex for hours at a time, reaching their ooh-aah point every two to five minutes? Or that there’s a type of rodent that mates every fifteen seconds for sessions that ultimately last an hour (no, not your rat ex-boyfriend)? If you want to know…
Don’t confuse “I Still Love My Box” with a hymn to the lost hymen or a tale of a vaginoplasty gone sour. It’s the moniker for the funky exhibit and performance unfolding tonight at 7:00 at Damien B. Contemporary Art Center, featuring the work of Paris-based Ruddy Candillon and La-La…
The nightclub formerly known as Slak Lounge/Two Last Shoes has been revamped and revived. After being closed for some time, the downtown venue is making a comeback under the name Circa28. Once the location of the long-running Revolver party and underground shindig FM, it will now be home to Circa…
Old Blue Eyes is back on the big screen in Miami Beach. When the sun sets today, head over to the Art Deco Welcome Center Auditorium for a free screening of the classic A Hole in the Head, directed by Frank Capra and starring Frank Sinatra. It’s the first of…
