Go Arena! They came, they posed, and one of them may have conquered. 23 year old Miami girl Arena Turner was chosen from the curvy pack at last year’s audition for Mo’Nique’s F.A.T. Chance, which took place on March 5, 2006 at the Miami Marriott Biscayne Bay. If you’d like…
Play soccer somewhere else, kids The fuzzy longing for children’s soccer fields slated to occupy a county parcel behind the American Airlines Arena could be shoved aside by the memories of those with much more political muscle: Cuban exiles. Decision-makers with the Bay of Pigs Museum & Library, the nonprofit…
Jenny Dubnau cold-cocks you with her smashing Surprised Self-Portrait right off the bat. The artist has rendered herself with an utter oddball naturalism in the oil-on-canvas painting. She suffers from bed head, and her neck appears flushed in the morning light, which glints off of her cheeks. Behind bleary, startled…
Hard Boiled: Two-Disc Ultimate Edition (Weinstein) The Criterion version of John Woo’s masterpiece, about two cops (the overworked Chow Yun-Fat and the undercover Tony Leung) gunning for the Hong Kong Triads, is still the “ultimate” collection. It has a better commentary track (with Woo and Pulp Fiction co-writer Roger Avary,…
Did John Waters sell out? Or did our ever-more-metrosexual age merely render him irrelevant? Certainly long before Hairspray took up residence on the Great White Way in 2002, Waters had abdicated his throne as America’s elder statesman of underground smut in favor of a more lucrative career as a neutered…
Examining the roots of Transformers: The Game is deep stuff: It’s a videogame based on a movie based on a cartoon based on a toy. But unlike most laughably forced movie tie-in games (DaVinci Code for the PS2, anyone?), there’s good sense in creating one devoted to giant robots beating…
TomFoolery was first produced by the Actors’ Playhouse in 1989, when the troupe was operating out of Kendall. They did it there again in 1992 and again in 1996, at the current location on Miracle Mile. Now they’re doing it once more. All four actors involved in this musical revue…
Avant-Garde 2: Experimental Cinema 1928-1954 (Kino) Cashback (Magnolia) The Contract (First Look) Crazy Legs Conti: Zen and the Art of Competitive Eating (Blue Underground) Five Dedicated to Ozu (Kino) The Host (Magnolia) Live Free or Die (THINKfilm) The Long Weekend (Lionsgate) The Monster Squad: Two-Disc 20th Anniversary Edition (Lionsgate) The…
The less said about the plot of the long-fabled, finally arrived Simpsons Movie the better. I know this instinctively, as a member of that particular segment of geekdom most psyched and apprehensive about its unveiling. I’m talking about the people who ask, “Does it suck?” and then prayerfully add, “Please…
Genius weighs heavily on a child prodigy who longs to be “normal” in this charming Swiss import from veteran director Fredi M. Murer. Kicked out of kindergarten for being too smart, Vitus is both a brilliant mathematician and a musical virtuoso — but he is still a child emotionally, something…
When first we meet nine-year-old Joshua Cairn (Jacob Kogan), there’s not an ounce of rambunctiousness in him. He’s a superior pianist, natch, and brainiac to boot, with his hair perfectly coiffed and his skin a pale shade of corpse. Joshua is more a parody of a pint-size horror-show monster than…
Make Your Own Life: Artists in and out of Cologne: In the early Eighties a phenomenon unfolded in Cologne, Germany, that has art bigwigs scratching their noggins to this day: The industrial burg on the Rhine, 90 percent of which had been flattened by Allied bombing raids during World War…
College theater departments are often a testing ground for students who daydream of Broadway, so often you find tired retreads of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Theater or The Music Man as unfortunate attempts at entertainment. Which is why we’re so grateful for the University of…
Summertime in Miami leaves locals with a hot, sticky dilemma. It’s so sweltering outside you could grill chorizos on the sidewalk, but you’re dying for something refreshing to do. Fret not, culture-loving Miamians: ’Tis the season for film festivals, and there are two tonight that will get you out of…
We have never been to Hershey, Pennsylvania, but we imagine that the streets are paved with chocolate and that residents brush their teeth and wash their faces with it. Yeah, our sun and sand are cool, but damn it, a city built with chocolate instead of concrete really sounds like…
Whether you pray five times a day, once every night on your knees before bed, once a week in the Lotto line, or not at all, chances are you’ve looked to some higher power for inspiration. And if you’re human, you probably like music, and you’ve probably had your fill…
If you listen to any track off of XBXRX’s latest album, Wars, you’ll immediately understand the CD’s title — every song sounds like a battle cry. The Oakland, California band has been making posthardcore thrash music for nearly 10 years and opening for bands like Sonic Youth and Deerhoof along…
Fiending for football? Starving for soccer? Fans of the sweaty sport can get their fix tonight at 7:00 at the Orange Bowl. Haiti’s national team will face off against Argentina’s Boca Juniors in an exhibition tournament. The international matchup will serve as a training ground for the Haitian team to…
In Fernando Arrabal’s film Viva La Muerte (Long Live Death), an image of father and son cuts away to shots of soldiers and rifles. The father is captured at his home while a soldier yells, “Smash the bastard’s brains out!” Galloping horses trample the father’s head, and the screen turns…
During a butterfly’s life, it transforms from squiggly-squirmy larva to fuzzy caterpillar to everybody’s preferred state — majestic, winged marvel. When they’re full-grown, their beauty is apparent. During the larva period, not so much. That’s probably why the folks at Fairchild Tropical Botanic Garden are celebrating Butterfly Days and not…
Contrary to popular belief, the city of Miami wasn’t founded 15 years ago by Gotham developers. It was incorporated July 28, 1896, by pioneers fed up with “public nudity and their neighbors crapping on the streets,” explains avant choreographer Octavio Campos, organizer of a bawdy birthday bacchanal for the Big…
Bass Island: A mysterious place where the desperate residents are ruled only by their desire for blood and booty. A perpetual, menacing rumble shakes the ground, and the women are scantily clad and ferocious. Before today, it existed only as a twisted figment of your darkest imagination. Tonight the dream…
