Eastern Promises (Universal) David Cronenberg and Viggo Mortensen are becoming a Bizarro World Hitchcock/Cary Grant combo, and the world is a better (and bloodier) place for it. Chucklehead critics too smitten by Cronenberg’s “messages” dismissed this film — a vicious and brilliant exploration of the Russian mob in London —…
A great brooding thundercloud of a movie, Paul Thomas Anderson’s There Will Be Blood arrives as if from nowhere on a gust of critical acclaim, lowering over a landscape of barren mesas and hot, scrubby hills. Anderson’s epic, no less than his career, is both fearfully grandiose and wonderfully eccentric…
Circus freaks of Miami, take note. For those who enjoy screaming, “Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!” Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey circus will unfurl its big top at the American Airlines Arena with Bellobration! B&B has ramped up the usual elephant stunts and tight rope antics with…
Recall those ridiculously talented kids from Fame? Well, Miami’s own version (sans the movie set) is headed our way. This week 150 über-gifted teens from across the nation will converge on South Florida for YoungARTS Week, an annual program funded by the National Foundation for Advancement in the Arts (NFAA)…
After their communal performance venue got shut down, it seemed the Cornerstoners, local hip-hoppers/Latin rockers with talent and energy to burn, would go the way of many a Miami band — that is, split up and fade into oblivion, leaving fans to reminisce about them over blunts and beers. No…
Mama taught us well. When she asked for an N.C.O.T, we were meant to rush off to the kitchen, boil water, and steep the teabags for exactly four minutes, thereby making a Nice Cup Of Tea. Now that we’re old enough to appreciate the leafy brew in all of its…
Forget the cafeteria table snobbery; the social hierarchy in elementary school was really determined within the confines of gym class. Think about it — only the strong survived the pullups test, your cool factor was determined when (or if) you were picked for a team, and don’t even get us…
The final regular-season game in the Orange Bowl resembled the infamous Ned Beatty scene in Deliverance more than an actual football game. Today’s FedEx Orange Bowl promises to be better. And by better, we mean totally bad-ass. The Virginia Tech Hokies face off against the Kansas Jay Hawks. The shitty…
When Amy Winehouse’s Back to Black hit the scene, she was instantly drenched in accolades. People acted like the skeletal chanteuse was the new savior of soul, here to rescue the music scene from disposable sound. Cut to less than a year later, and Winehouse is pissing all that talent…
For seven years, Edison Farrow has been hosting his SoBe Social Club parties like Martini Tuesdays and Simple Life at Buck15, bringing the gays (and the straight girls who love them) to the nightclubs of South Beach. His success is partially marked by his insistence to march to his own…
Okay, Mama, so the Hoodstock festival’s MySpace page repeatedly uses the sh word while touting its social outreach to local high schools. That ain’t even a petty crime, especially considering its founder DJ Raw is makin’ good after his release from a 10-year prison sentence for coke trafficking. Come on,…
You got a cheap split of Merlot and some low-grade cheese from your boss, your fourth shower radio in as many years at your office gift exchange, and one of those singing fish wall-mounts from your slightly behind-the-times uncle in Iowa. Another shitty Christmas. You want revenge and swear that…
Shirley McLaine knows they’re out there. So does Dennis Kucinich. People like to mock those who admit they believe in aliens, but we beg to differ. Doesn’t it seem a bit arrogant to think we’re the most intelligent life in the galaxy? C’mon! There are folks still driving around Miami…
Plenty of musical acts owe their careers to their names, especially if that name belonged to a successful predecessor. For instance, the Rolling Stones were named for the Muddy Waters song “Rollin’ Stone”; the Hank Williams sequels benefit from their roman numerals, even as Jr. sings somberly that he’s “standing…
What does your dream home look like? Is it four walls of rent-free bliss? Does it have a tree outside each window that sprouts crisp $100 bills from its branches? Funny, we have the same dream. But HGTV is taking the “dream home” concept one step further and offering one…
French film charms because it’s filmed in France, specifically Paris, whose cobblestone streets, café chairs, and sweeping arches seem more suited to black-and-white than color. Since Lumière planted his tripod beside a train depot, the best French films — which is very near to saying the best films, period –…
There is no doubt the Pittsburgh Penguins’ third-year center, Sidney “The Kid” Crosby, has legendary skills. Often mentioned in the same breath as Wayne Gretzky and Mario Lemieux, Crosby is one of the best passers in the game: He’s insanely fast, anticipates plays like a seasoned veteran, and has that…
Dov Davidoff is a man of many talents. In addition to touring the country with his stand-up comedy set, he has also found steady work as a serious actor in the past few years. He starred with Mark Wahlberg in the film Invincible and was a series regular on the…
You gasp as you wake up from the nightmare. It feels like you’re still dreaming, but you’re not sure. You pinch yourself and wince from the pain. The room begins to spin, and you shut your eyes tight. When you open them, you are sitting in the dark Miami Beach…
In exchange for a booming economy, China has paid a steep price to carve a spot on the global financial stage. It’s been a bitter pill for many Chinese to swallow since pictures of Ronald McDonald and Colonel Sanders began to outnumber those of Chairman Mao on Beijing streets. A…
The casting call explains it all. For the local appearance of the infamous Gazillionaire Late Nite Lounge at Spiegelworld, they’re looking for a truly crazy cast o’ characters. This includes, but isn’t limited to, dancers, martial artists, hard-core aerialists (none of that Cirque du Crap, please), pinheads, Lilliputians, pre- or…
You rave to your out-of-town friends about the abundance of nightspots here, claiming “your” haunts are the best in the world. But in your heart, you’re absolutely bored with your weekly routine and desperate for a different place to get drunk. For the first Saturday of the year, we say…
