Obviously you don’t follow the centuries-old, every-six-week ritual of the hairdresser. If your bangs are in your eyes and your ends are headed for Divorce Court, it might be time for a haircut. Instead of visiting your local Hair Butchery, you can indulge your tresses in a considerably more luxe…
For years, avaricious carnivores have mocked vegetarians and animal lovers as a bunch of know-it-all pansies. Well, wouldn’t you know it — those pansies were right. Now even the United Nations is recommending one meat-free day a week to combat greenhouse gases and stave off climate change. Kind of makes…
Suddenly it feels good to be a Miami Dolphins fan again. It’s a sensation we haven’t felt for so long. We didn’t truly realize how shitty Mondays were until the morning after the Fins drubbed Bill Belichick and the mighty New England Patriots in Foxboro 38-13 two weeks ago. We…
Ah bingo. Traditionally a pastime of the elderly, it was rivaled only by shuffleboard, bridge, and complaining about “kids today” in its demographic popularity. And then, wouldn’t ya know it, the damn hipsters got a hold of it. Bingo night at The Standard has been a popular Sunday event for…
We live in strange and frightening times. The economy is in flames. America is mired in two foreign wars. Racism, sexism, and geezerism have stunk up the presidential race. One can’t help but wonder if the founding fathers are turning cartwheels in their graves. On the eve of national elections,…
When it was revealed that legendary YouTube street-fighting sensation Kimbo Slice would battle former WWE star Ken Shamrock as the main event in this Saturday night’s EliteXC Saturday Night Fights at the BankAtlantic Center, many mixed martial arts fans were understandably upset. Although Slice has made a legend by turning…
Her humor, her style, her luminous beauty — film buffs idolize Carole Lombard and her screwball comedies from Tinseltown’s heyday. They also remember Lombard’s storybook marriage to Clark Gable, and lament her premature demise in a tragic plane crash during a war-bond campaign in 1942. On Saturday, the University of…
The Miami Workers Center, whose mission is to “build the collective strength of working-class and poor black and Latino communities in Miami,” is throwing a party. The Pure Funk DJs from Hot 97.1 FM will rock their trademark wall of sound for Saturday’s second annual Pride and Unity Festival. As…
If the recent happenings on America’s Wall Street and Main Streets aren’t an indication of our nation’s need for change, we don’t know what is. Frankly, a country that is willing to give hundreds of billions of dollars to companies with bad business practices, yet throws its children into rundown,…
In these freewheeling days of the Internet and high-definition television, a term such as banned books sounds downright antiquated. The phrase brings to mind scary World War II-era visions of black-and-white flames destroying a pyre of burning volumes. Scary stuff indeed — but in this crazy election cycle, it seems…
You might have thought the side effects of being a member of Generation ADD affected only your productivity at work, but news flash, they’re also affecting the way you party. On any given night, you’re like a drunken nomad, going from this bar to that lounge to that club and…
Tasty nibbles instead of high-stakes bluffs will be served at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino for the 15th annual Celebrity Chefs Food Tasting and Auction at 7 p.m. A stellar roundup of local chefs will put their cards on the table for a good cause — the event…
You go to the spa to indulge your senses. Massage incorporates touch, aromatherapy is all about smell, the beautiful surroundings celebrate your sight, the new-age music appeals to your hearing, and if you’re lucky, there’s tea, coffee, or — ahhh — cocktails to tickle your taste buds. But we’re willing…
If you’ve ever laughed, cried, or screamed with the girls of Sex and the City, you’ve probably also claimed you were the Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, or Miranda of your crew. Are you unlucky in love, a lion in the sack, a prim and proper pleaser, or a levelheaded, logical lady?…
For the most part, Miamians don’t need an excuse to party. After work, the bars are filled with businessmen, and on the weekends, the clubs are overflowing with hard-drinkin’ dudes — many of whom look like they’re sporting the same damn striped shirt they wore during the week. But some…
Your eyes bleed terror; your heart pumps fear. Your dead grandma laughs from the corner of the room as a hunchbacked madman hacks into a screaming victim on an operating table. You wake up scared and sweating. What a nightmare! And there’s more to come as we get deeper into…
Back in the Forties and Fifties, couples would get dressed to the nines, slide into their newly washed Caddys, and head to their favorite lounges for dinner and a tune. They would sip cognac from snifters and look on as chanteuses performed on smoky stages or atop glossed-up baby grand…
Everyone in South Beach knows the gayest grocery store is the Publix on West Avenue. Yes, gays also like Epicure, but that place is crazy expensive! The West Avenue Publix has been adopted both for its wine selection (two aisles!) and for the fact that the store’s design-forward exterior looks…
Macaroni necklaces cause indigestion. Licking the ice-sculpture likeness of your boss at a corporate party can prove to be both uncomfortable and antisocial. Generally, combining a passion for art and food creates more trouble than it’s worth. However, art-buff gourmands need not despair. Chef Cindy Hutson of Ortanique on the…
It’s a shame Politically Incorrect isn’t on anymore (mostly because you could imagine all the horse shit famous people would have to say about this election, but also because Jimmy Kimmel has that time slot now), but it’s left Bill Maher more time to pursue other projects, like his upcoming…
San Gomma’s design Voting is good. Art is good. Booze is good. Complete Miami dominance in all areas ever is also good. So it is supremely good that you have the chance to combine all of these good things into one. Local graffiti legend Alouishous San Gomma is currently in…
Waiting for CSI: Miami to start (no kidding, I actually watched 5 minutes of it last night. Some guy caught on fire on the beach and tried to make it to the ocean, and I was like “No! Stop! Drop! Roll! The sand will put it out!!!” But he didn’t,…
