In The Princess Bride, as Buttercup prepares to commit suicide with a dagger, Westley says, “There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.” What a mensch! Well, this weekend, you have a chance to meet Cary Elwes, the actor who played…
The Miami Heat’s epic collapse against the Dallas Mavericks in the NBA Finals earlier this month still stings. But the pain has been assuaged a bit by the way Dallas Mavericks’ owner Mark Cuban, some of his players, and especially fans have acted since winning the title. If you can…
This weekend, the Hyatt Regency will be filled with people who penetrate others for money. We’re talking needles here, and no it’s not a methadone convention. It’s TattooLaPaLooza, the third annual tats expo where those that ink and those who love to get inked congregate to bleed and show off…
You’ve probably heard by now — Doug Hutchison, the 51-year-old who played Percy “Worst Human Around” Wetmore in The Green Mile, has married a girl too young to get a full driver’s license in every state but the Dakotas. Her name is Courtney Stodden, she’s reportedly 16 years old, and…
These days, burlesque is a term as abused as a stripper’s feet at the end of a night in clear heels. Oops, that was a bad comparison — especially because, dammit, despite all the misuse, burlesque is not, in fact, a euphemism for stripping. In its classical form, the term…
Long before Octomom, Nadya Suleman, was implanted with a dozen embryos by a California doctor, diverse cultures across Africa were employing sacred objects to ensure fecundation.Octodoc, Michael Kamrava, later had his license revoked when it was discovered that he had also produced Suleman’s first six kids through in-vitro fertilization. Talk…
Chaz Bono is the son of Cher and Sonny Bono. While growing up, he always felt uncomfortable and after years of feeling out of place, he realized something: He was a he. He was not Chastity, the daughter of Sonny and Cher, but Chaz — a woman-loving, video-game playing, All-American…
Tracy Morgan is in deep shit after Queen of celebrity gossip, Perez Hilton, relayed a message from a “Perezcious reader” that the 30 Rock star had launched into an extensive homophobic rant during a show at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville, TN. The remarks and subsequent backlash is but another…
Bitch is an enigma. Probably due to her name of choice, even Google finds it hard to track her. Whether Bitch is screaming through a megaphone or playing the ukulele, when you see Bitch, time stops.The lesbian, freak, virtuoso, is a legend among LGBT women, including Ani DiFranco, whom Bitch…
June is arguably the best time of year to be gay. Or queer, or bi, or trans. In Miami, we have an extra reason to celebrate our pride with Out in the Tropics, a performing arts festival with an LGBT theme. Don’t get us wrong – the gay theme is…
Exxxotica 2011 has come and gone, and the New Times blogosphere pummeled you with content every steamy, dripping, latex-y step of the way. But we forgot one crucial detail: Miss Exxxotica 2011. The annual beauty pageant selects one lucky amateur participant to be the official queen of the convention. As…
Ever since 1997, when Florida stopped requiring riders over 16 to wear helmets, we cringe every time we see someone on two wheels without a cranium cap. Don’t get us wrong, we’re not necessarily worried about the safety of the rider. We just have an understandable aversion to vomiting in…
There was a wonderful time, not so many years ago, when Miami Beach was brimming with hot bods, the word fabulous hung in the air, and rainbow flags were flying high. Those were the good old, tasteful days when the gays ruled sunny South Beach.At some point, sadly, they flocked…
For the 16th year, City Theatre hosts Summer Shorts, which opens at the Arsht Center this Thursday, giving us all a reason to stay in town for sweaty June. And this year, the cast includes the “culture guy” from the Emmy-winning Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Jai Rodriguez. Just…
The Hangover II opened this week despite a lawsuit from retired boxer Mike Tyson’s tattoo artist on the grounds that the tat’s inclusion in the film constitutes copyright infringement. The tribal style ink is featured on the face of Ed Helms who, along with Bradley Cooper and Zach Galifinakis, must…
When they’re not too busy performing DPs, TPs, group scenes, facial free-for-alls, and other wild sexual stunts, porn stars live just like the rest of the literate world. They enjoy a little downtime, a bottle of fine wine, and a good fucking book. So between handing out WTF Awards, kicking…
When Hair, the musical, first went on tour in the ’60s/’70s, audiences reacted in the extremes. In London, royalty danced onstage; meanwhile, in Acapulco, Mexico, government officials padlocked the theater to protect their city’s youth. San Francisco hippies mediated with the cast while Ohioans threw bombs at the theater. Go…
It’s not every day that we get to play phone tag with Ron Jeremy. But when that day came, we realized that, holy, shit! we’re playing phone tag with the fucking Hedgehog!Best known for his large male member and steamy roles in films not fit for children or Harold Camping,…
On day one of Exxxotica Miami Beach 2011, Cultist scored a subscription to Buttman Magazine, rode the cocksaw, met the biggest set of implants on Planet Earth, and went all cowgirl atop a bucking pink mechanical penis. Day two wasn’t any less exciting. We chatted with the most beautiful ass…
All month, we’ve been talking about Exxxotica, the big old porn-y fair down on Miami Beach. Last night, ladies got in free, so we marched on down to the convention center to catch a first peek at the goods on display. Though the event was tame as a porn get-together could…
When Cultist was in college we drove from Miami to Los Angeles and along the way thought, “God damn, this is a freaking long trip. We’re so bad ass!” But after learning of Mario Renteria’s planned Miami to San Francisco bike trip, we’re currently reassessing how bad ass we really…
There’s nothing like a little porn to get the juices flowing. That would be your creative juices, you sickos. And now that the interminable wait for Exxxotica to slink into town is over, well, let’s just say those juices are flowing like the Miami River, and just as dirty.Proof is…
