Want to know which demographic most enjoys gift-wrapping toenail clippings in moist towelettes? There’s probably scientists right now securing grant money for just such a useless study. And consider this study reported by the New York Times in which two sociologists gave us a groundbreaking conclusion: Women are more likely…
If you’re not Cuban, you probably have a Cuban friend who keeps you in stitches with his or her unique observations and off-color comments. Enter Pepe Billete. Pepe has become the 305’s favorite Cuban puppet gone viral. Billete takes songs you know and love, such as those by Rick Ross,…
Any asshole can streak. Any hippie can get au naturel for a still-life drawing class. And any shameless baby-boomer with a gut so large he has no idea he’s playing hacky-sack with his own nuts can go to Haulover Beach. But that’s boring — activities for nudie novices! Today, on the…
It’s all pretext. All of it. The beaches. The sun in the fun clichés. The models. The palm trees. The nightlife. Even the heat. The prevailing logic for why Miami is among the premiere destinations for travelers from across the globe is all bullshit. The real reason everybody wants to…
Pretend for a moment that Sarah Palin is elected president. Within mere moments, the United States will revert to total chaos the likes of which the Mad Max screenwriters would’ve traded two, maybe three kilos of coke for a glimpse of. And we’re fucking psyched. Not for Palin, no. We…
Queers all over the states are cheering the fact that New York has legalized same-sex marriage, although, considering it is New York, you’d think they had jumped on the bandwagon before, oh, we don’t know, Iowa, maybe?Either way, it is a fantastic reason to celebrate (eight states down, only 42…
Hooray New York! (Imagine a chorus snapping fingers!) The state became the largest and most important in the union to allow same sex marriages last week. But we have to admit, watching the measure pass made us a bit jealous. After all, Miami is just as gay as New York,…
In The Princess Bride, as Buttercup prepares to commit suicide with a dagger, Westley says, “There’s a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours.” What a mensch! Well, this weekend, you have a chance to meet Cary Elwes, the actor who played…
The Miami Heat’s epic collapse against the Dallas Mavericks in the NBA Finals earlier this month still stings. But the pain has been assuaged a bit by the way Dallas Mavericks’ owner Mark Cuban, some of his players, and especially fans have acted since winning the title. If you can…
This weekend, the Hyatt Regency will be filled with people who penetrate others for money. We’re talking needles here, and no it’s not a methadone convention. It’s TattooLaPaLooza, the third annual tats expo where those that ink and those who love to get inked congregate to bleed and show off…
You’ve probably heard by now — Doug Hutchison, the 51-year-old who played Percy “Worst Human Around” Wetmore in The Green Mile, has married a girl too young to get a full driver’s license in every state but the Dakotas. Her name is Courtney Stodden, she’s reportedly 16 years old, and…
These days, burlesque is a term as abused as a stripper’s feet at the end of a night in clear heels. Oops, that was a bad comparison — especially because, dammit, despite all the misuse, burlesque is not, in fact, a euphemism for stripping. In its classical form, the term…
Long before Octomom, Nadya Suleman, was implanted with a dozen embryos by a California doctor, diverse cultures across Africa were employing sacred objects to ensure fecundation.Octodoc, Michael Kamrava, later had his license revoked when it was discovered that he had also produced Suleman’s first six kids through in-vitro fertilization. Talk…
Chaz Bono is the son of Cher and Sonny Bono. While growing up, he always felt uncomfortable and after years of feeling out of place, he realized something: He was a he. He was not Chastity, the daughter of Sonny and Cher, but Chaz — a woman-loving, video-game playing, All-American…
Tracy Morgan is in deep shit after Queen of celebrity gossip, Perez Hilton, relayed a message from a “Perezcious reader” that the 30 Rock star had launched into an extensive homophobic rant during a show at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville, TN. The remarks and subsequent backlash is but another…
Bitch is an enigma. Probably due to her name of choice, even Google finds it hard to track her. Whether Bitch is screaming through a megaphone or playing the ukulele, when you see Bitch, time stops.The lesbian, freak, virtuoso, is a legend among LGBT women, including Ani DiFranco, whom Bitch…
June is arguably the best time of year to be gay. Or queer, or bi, or trans. In Miami, we have an extra reason to celebrate our pride with Out in the Tropics, a performing arts festival with an LGBT theme. Don’t get us wrong – the gay theme is…
Exxxotica 2011 has come and gone, and the New Times blogosphere pummeled you with content every steamy, dripping, latex-y step of the way. But we forgot one crucial detail: Miss Exxxotica 2011. The annual beauty pageant selects one lucky amateur participant to be the official queen of the convention. As…
Ever since 1997, when Florida stopped requiring riders over 16 to wear helmets, we cringe every time we see someone on two wheels without a cranium cap. Don’t get us wrong, we’re not necessarily worried about the safety of the rider. We just have an understandable aversion to vomiting in…
There was a wonderful time, not so many years ago, when Miami Beach was brimming with hot bods, the word fabulous hung in the air, and rainbow flags were flying high. Those were the good old, tasteful days when the gays ruled sunny South Beach.At some point, sadly, they flocked…
For the 16th year, City Theatre hosts Summer Shorts, which opens at the Arsht Center this Thursday, giving us all a reason to stay in town for sweaty June. And this year, the cast includes the “culture guy” from the Emmy-winning Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Jai Rodriguez. Just…
The Hangover II opened this week despite a lawsuit from retired boxer Mike Tyson’s tattoo artist on the grounds that the tat’s inclusion in the film constitutes copyright infringement. The tribal style ink is featured on the face of Ed Helms who, along with Bradley Cooper and Zach Galifinakis, must…
