No, it’s OK. They’re friends.Sunday Submission, the coolest fetish party at South Beach’s RokBar, is only a ten days away. We know most of you are aching with anticipation, especially those who are just breaking into this wonderful, yet dark world of BDSM. If you’re shy, but want to know…
[jump] Wow. This is deep. Now, before I get all philosophical and shit, allow me to define “subspace” for those who are not BDSM or new-age savvy. Subspace is a trance-like state of mind. This particular state can vary from moderate to very intense, and it’s usually experienced by weird…
Hallelujah! A short workweek. Too bad we still have to cram five days worth of making widgets into the remaining four days. Release some steam without blowing through any cash with the following free events. Party with a Haitian Hillbilly, get high brow at Frost, celebrate hometown literary fiction at…
Last March, a sweaty crew of bicycle folks set forth on a Beer Snob Bicycle Pub Crawl with the intention of enjoying a few brews and a spring afternoon ride. It was the meeting of two wonderful American pastimes, drinking and cycling, both done responsibly, of course. On September 18,…
[jump] Dear Christ Lover, As a sadistic cunt, I am glad you are feeling guilty about your desires. Guilt is one of the primal forms of masochism, and as a devout Catholic you should know this. There is nothing wrong with practicing BDSM and being a total religious freak at…
On an otherwise nondescript street in Wynwood, a two-story building seems to be breathing fire in the middle of NW 36 Street between Second and Third Avenues. This is the home of Hell Bound City Tattoo. As soon as you walk in, you quickly realize this isn’t South Beach. When…
Despite the worn-out copy of Four-Hour Workweek on your nightstand, you’re still a wage slave with pockets full of resentment but empty of cash. This week, though, distract yourself from your fiscal worries with little affordable doses of that c-word: culture. Monday: Damn, we already lied. You’re going to have…
When you hear that there’s going to be a burlesque show at Churchill’s Pub, you might wonder: Who do they think they are, Moulin Rouge? And if you’ve never been to Churchill’s Pub, we highly suggest it for many reasons. Sure, it’s not in the best part of town and…
[jump] Dear Boyfriend Beater, Define normal for me. What’s normal to you may seem totally bizarre to others. Take me for example, pissing on a guy’s face — normal. Kicking somebody in the nuts until they turn black — normal. Shoving a pencil-sized metal rod in a man’s urethra and…
This Thursday night, a variety show called the Millionaire Tramps Vaudeville Debut lands at Churchill’s Pub with Dangerfun!’s handpicked selection of South Florida tramps. Settle in for some stand-up and sketch comedy by Skitsations, slapstick jugglers, bunnies pulled from top hats, and the wiggles and jiggles of Hellion Burlesque. For…
Living in South Beach — the world capitol of bad techno music — it was a pleasant change to head over the causeway to the Vagabond for a night of ’50s nostalgia. At Saturday’s Shameless Burlesque’s Elvis Tribute, twenty-something hipsters jived on the dancefloor to Fats Domino and hugged their…
Put on your pasties and step right up for a never-before-seen performance where vintage, vaudeville burlesque meets the King of Rock and Roll. Tomorrow night, just five days after the 33rd anniversary of Elvis Presley’s death, local striptease troupe Shameless Burlesque and Presley imitator Randy “Elvis” Walker will pay horny…
In what in some circles equates to earth-shattering news, the New York Times plans to discontinue use of the term “hipster.” On Tuesday, the standards editor claimed it no longer accurately describes what the American Heritage dictionary defines as “One who is exceptionally aware of or interested in the latest…
[jump] On her site, Ikard scolds me, claiming that I give out unsafe advice, and going further: “Not every Dominatrix receives their skills and education in the same way, but a Domme without some form of proper mentoring is like a firearm in the hands of an untrained gun user…
When Douglas Coupland coined the term Brazilification to describe the ever-widening gap between the rich and poor, we’re pretty sure he didn’t have Miami in mind. (Has that Canadian author ever visited the 305?) But we’d wager it’s the perfect term to describe our fine city. Donde esta the party…
Strap on your helmet and start pedaling. No, not just the vegans in cut-off shorts with fixed-gear bikes, but all of you. Tomorrow’s is appropriate for cyclists of every type, shape, and size. Hosted by the Miami Beach Bicycle Center, it’s the longest running of its kind and welcomes two-wheeling…
[jump] Dear Sucker, I am glad you finally found someone you think is game, but I think you’re a little bit confused about the difference between “face-sitting” and “smothering.” While the two terms are often used interchangeably, strictly speaking, face-sitting is when a person squats above your face and demands…
Monday – Sunday: With all the attention to The Heat Lightning’s Jersey Shore sock puppets, maybe you should check out more softies (and hardies) at Broward’s Bear + Bird Gallery. “Peculiar Playmates: Curious Sculptural Artworks,” which opened this past weekend, includes handmade oddities, including stuffed softies and ceramic figurines that…
If you ever wanted to have the Miami New Times available at your fingertips at any time, your prayers have been answered. Now available as a free download, the New Times app for your iPhone or iPod Touch brings you everything you love about New Times on the go. Available…
Thanks to the recent show at the Arsht Center, whenever we hear the word babalú, we flashback to I Love Lucy reruns and Ricky Ricardo beating on his conga drums. What we don’t think of is a luxury drugstore. But thanks to a new store opening on Lincoln Road, you…
[jump] Dear Dog Lover, You seem like the top in your relationship. If you weren’t, you’d probably be cleaning a litter box instead of writing me this letter. So, do what tops do best and tell your boyfriend that it’s your way or the highway. I am totally on your…
It’s so hot outside, movie theaters are opening their doors to harbor Miami’s little ones, so they don’t spontaneously burst into flames. You can get in on that action as well hear some good music and make some new friends. All for f-r-e-e.Monday: Catch an eyeful of anthropomorphic turtles under…
