X-Ray vision. Super-human strength. The ability to read minds. Flying. And, the power to become invisible (especially, in the middle of tax season). We all wish we had superpowers. But we don’t. And that sucks. Like any adolescent geek into comic books and superheroes, Cultist feels your pain. We figure…
Why hand lotion? Because you’ll be forwarding this post to all your like-minded adult pals, and all that clicking might make your fingers get blisters. Why? What were you thinking, you perv!? Exxxotica Miami Beach has become queen bee among Miami Beach’s many debauch events. It’s the only time of…
You have to hand it to DJ Tamara Sky. After being subjected to undeserved vitriol for winning Best Club DJ in our Best of Miami issue, Sky took it all in stride. It’s just not her style. Sure she gets aggravated when people (i.e., men) try to put down female…
Advances in science and technology have been able to improve the quality of life for people such as Joan Rivers and Heidi Montag. Fortunately, the animal kingdom will now also benefit from such lifesaving procedures.Boris, a once obese but now just hefty pig, is going to “have some work done.”…
Sure, James Franco is hot. Super hot. And hey, when an actor’s been involved with projects like Freaks and Geeks, Spider Man, Milk, Howl, and Pineapple Express (we’ll just pretend like Eat, Pray, Love and Tristan & Isolde never happened), it’s easy to like them. Because those are all cool…
Don’t know which hand to hold the whip in? Get sex, love, relationship advice from Mistress Lera by emailing askadomme@miaminewtimes.com. Read more about Mistress Lera at Notes From a Miami Dominatrix.Dear Mistress Lera,I heard the terms “lifestyle domme” and “professional domme” one too many times, especially on the fem- domme…
It happens fast. Twenty-five seconds to be exact. You’re in a car, driving around, when you suddenly spot her. She’s wrapped tightly in cellophane to a sign pointing to South Beach. She doesn’t struggle. She looks at every passing car without even a hint of embarrassment. Is it some sort…
The Miami Herald reports that Andy Cohen is this year’s grand marshal for the Miami Beach Gay Pride Parade and Festival, which starts April 12. We ran into Cohen, Bravo’s Executive Vice President of Original Programming and Development, at the Eden Roc last week, where he told us he loved…
Keeping in touch with old friends, networking, sharing with family — all are excuses for people to keep running to check their newsfeed every 15 minutes. Since the explosion of Facebook in 2004, the site has grown to include over 500 million users. People from different sides of the globe…
South Beach has a whole weekend devoted to celebrating its Art Deco architecture. But, damn it, the little strip of mainland just across the causeway needs love for its buildings too. The Upper Eastside is pretty much the only place in the world where you can find a concentration of…
With the Miami International Film Festival, South Beach Comedy Festival, and Fashion Week this weekend, it’s going to be tough to choose which to attend. We thought we’d make your decision a little easier by giving away two free tickets to Mad Cat Theatre’s production of The Preservation Society, part…
Think back to the last day of fifth grade before summer hit. You were so delirious with joy you chewed through the pink erasers on your no. 2 pencils, practically pulled out your pigtails from your pre-pubescent cranium, and ripped tiny tears in your Mead composition book. Adults rarely get…
Who doesn’t all want another excuse to go drinking and misbehaving during the work week? Such is the allure of kickball leagues in Miami and across the country. That and finding intelligent women! The sport is thriving and there are several leagues in Miami-Dade sponsored by World Adult Kickball Association…
One day, you wake up and realize you’ve done nothing creative since writing that love poem to your college girlfriend, that your current relationship is codependent, and that you hate your parents even though they seem to like you enough. What separates the successfully creative from yourself? Pretty much nothing…
Miami has given burlesque a bit of a bad name. So thinks Erika Moon, who has arrived from France to show us a thing or two about how it’s done in a “classy, elegant way,” she says. Moon is inaugurating the Evolution of Burlesque tonight and Friday at the Colony…
Sex in Miami is a lot like the city’s heavy humidity. It’s omnipresent, suffocating (if done right), and always leaves you sweating. So when we found out that local porn studio Reality Kings filmed a porn movie on Monument Island, home of the Henry Flagler Memorial — well, we weren’t…
If there’s one constant to the responses in our ongoing list of Miami 100 Creatives, it’s that the urge to create is a compulsion and not a choice. Video artist Cristina Molina referred to her motivation as a dark undercurrent, a tugging. Artist Jim Drain mentioned that without his artistic…
Don’t know which hand to hold the whip in? Get sex, love, relationship advice from Mistress Lera by emailing askadomme@miaminewtimes.com. Read more about Mistress Lera at Notes From a Miami Dominatrix.Dear Mistress Lera,I fell in love with a woman, who I later learned was a dominatrix. She never told me…
Valentine’s Day is two weeks away. Good luck getting dinner reservations this late in the game. And those online gifts you bought, chances are they won’t arrive until February 15. But before you buy roses and cheap chocolates like every other amateur Casanova, Cultist is here to help stoke the…
Don’t get us wrong, we think creating bike lanes on any street is a smart and safety conscious decision. But Washington Avenue on South Beach? Lord help us! If there’s one street that attracts the I-just-popped-three-bottles-at-LUX Nightclub-set, then it has to be Washington Avenue. Perhaps city officials believe that a…
Don’t know which hand to hold the whip in? Get sex, love, relationship advice from Mistress Lera by emailing askadomme@miaminewtimes.com. Read more about Mistress Lera at Notes From a Miami Dominatrix.Dear Mistress Lera,My husband wants me to dress him up as a woman during foreplay. I am not easily shocked,…
Some of us are really attached to our astrological signs. We’re proud of being majestic Leos, stubborn Tauruses, and extroverted Aries. However, according to astronomer Parke Kunkle (yes, that is his real name), you may be fronting the wrong sign.Kunkle has declared that there are actually 13 zodiac signs instead…
