There is a line from a Sex and the City episode in which Carrie Bradshaw attempts to break up a fight with a few famous words: “”Stop it! Stop fighting! For heaven’s sake, you’re middle aged!” Really, this quote could not be more appropriate for our ladies on The Real…
For years now, it’s been common knowledge that Florida is the worst state. Ask nearly anyone in the U.S., including plenty of native Floridians, and they’ll tell you: This place is just too weird, too corrupt, too conservative and contradictory and perverse. But when it comes to porn, the weirdest,…
Episode three of The Real Housewives of Miami features possibly the saddest thing since Miley Cyrus’ performance at the VMAs. Pobre Adriana has to stand in the rain for a cab because her car is broken down. Plus, she’s fighting with her best friend over a piece of paper, loans,…
It’s no doubt one of your worst fears. Thanks to Hollywood, just the thought of people breaking into your home to kill you has likely run through your mind. Even now, the idea probably sends a chill down your spine. Run to your neighbors for help? Nope, they’re dead. Now,…
Did you miss your chance to slow dance with George Takei during Florida Supercon in July? Good news: You’ll have another chance to bask in the serene, Internet-y glow of Sulu this fall, when Takei returns to Miami for the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force’s annual Miami Recognition Dinner…
Adriana de Moura and her Real Housewives of Miami co-star Joanna Krupa are dueling brides this season. But over-the-top weddings aren’t the only interest the two share — and the bride war battlefield isn’t the only arena in which they’re competing for attention. Krupa is a longtime supporter of animal…
A mother-son team in Lake Mary, Florida, carried out their own personal Robin Hood dreams earlier this year when authorities say they stole over $70,000 from hot-shot celebrities like Kim Kardashian, her mother Kris Jenner, and Ashton Kutcher. But it’s not exactly a Robin Hood story. Kyah Green and Luis…
Well, episode two of RHOM has arrived and still no Mama Elsa. So essentially, it was a big waste of time. But maybe not completely…. First, however, we are met with Joanna and Romain’s #FirstWorldProblems as they hit an all time high this evening. Miss Krupa is so very busy…
South Beach is synonymous with neon signs and having a rich, vibrant nightlife. Part of that nightlife includes dancing in the middle of the street, strutting on the sidewalk, and even climbing atop double-decker tour busses – it does, at least, for the remarkable drag queens who perform at the…
The round bulbs illuminate the large mirror as Luis Alvarez-Schacht stares at his reflection for inspiration. He cocks one eyebrow up, moves his head from right to left checking his angles, and takes a deep breath. Looking down at the organized mess of make up overflowing from Ziploc baggies and…
There’s a new strip club in town, and it comes with one of the biggest names in adult entertainment. Vivid Live, a strip club concept by celebrity porn company Vivid Entertainment, is scheduled to open next month just outside Miami Springs. Vivid, for you pervs pretending you didn’t know, is…
Still nursing your Real Housewives season premiere hangover? Just be happy we’ve made it to this point. Hell, we didn’t think season one would make it past three episodes. Since that first fateful season, we have seen some ladies come (Lisa Hochstein and Joanna Krupa) and some go (Cristy Rice,…
Adriana de Moura, Joanna Krupa, Lea Black, Lisa Hochstein, and Alexia Echevarria. Did we ever think we would feel genuine concern about these five ladies’ lives? Of course not. But we’ve gotta make a full-blown confession: we love the Real Housewives of Miami, and we aren’t ashamed. Our ladies have…
Cash Dome pawnshop on US1 and Caribbean Boulevard is about to show America all about tattoos, guns, gold teeth, and how to make a buck. For the past 25 years, shop founder Mickey Gallander has wheeled and dealed Miami through one of the oldest and toughest businesses in the world…
Just imagine it: all the people you love to make fun of all in one room. And it doesn’t stop there — you’re also surrounded by their trainwreck friends, families. and house cleaning staff. Welcome to the Real Housewives of Miami premiere! See also: – The Real Housewives of Miami…
Expensive, ornate real estate is a lot like expensive, ornate fashion: not just anybody can pull it off. So it’s going to take a real diva to purchase the Versace Mansion, which recently went on the auction block after its owner filed for bankruptcy. And hey, if that diva comes…
It’s summer, it’s hot, and if you live in Miami, your body is probably physically rejecting clothing. But before you head outside in your tiniest shorts or crop tops, you’re going to want to feel comfortable showing that much skin. And yes, that can mean exercise. In this land of…
Life’s been a series of highs and lows for Karent Sierra in the past year. Her appearance on season two of The Real Housewives of Miami led to a bump in fame, with new gigs visiting TV shows like The Doctors. But Sierra left the show before season three began…
You can complain about Miami for a myriad of reasons, but you can’t say our locals suffer from a lack of personality. To outsiders, Miamians can be “too loud,” “too Cuban,” “too rude,” or any combination thereof — but locals know we’re just a bunch of amusing, quirky, and audacious…
Miami dating expert Nikki Novo gives us advice on finding love in this hopeless place. Have a question for Nikki? Email it to cultist@miaminewtimes.com. John Verrochi has experienced hundreds of first dates, No, he’s not the Don Juan of the South. But close: he’s a mixologist at the Shore Club…
If behind every great man is a great woman, then behind every great woman is a great bumbum. It stands to reason, then, that the women with the greatest bumbums in the world would also be the greatest women in the world. Friends, we have witnessed these bumbums and can…
Many women have an acceptable set of buttocks. Some have one seemingly perfect buttock that is paired with a deflated, swaying cheek, or worse, one with a single, twisted antler growing from it. Not Miss Bumbum. Her bumbum is perfect. And unmarried. Miss Bumbum is also the winner of a…
