Lord of the Ants

We don’t need an excuse to frolic outside this time of year. And it’s especially difficult to ignore the call of fresh air when the DWNTWN concert series books a lively band. Celebrate the end of another workweek with a performance by Bachaco at the Tina Hills Pavilion at Bayfront…

Please Don’t Go

The biggest concern for the Miami Heat is not whether this season is going to end up in the proverbial toilet — it is. It’s whether free-agent-to-be Dwyane Wade will go all Roberto Duran on our asses; declare, “No mas!”; and bolt for another team. Outside of D-Wade, the roster…

The Players Club

Thanks to Tiger’s inability to control his wood, the wonderful world of golf has devolved into a celebrity soap opera. Prior to the events of the past few months, though, no one would have ever predicted it, because golfers are typically goofy guys who dress in nerdy clothing and chase…

Full Metal Skillet

It can be risky business asking a Cuban cook to prepare a Mexican meal. While Cuban food can be as simple as rice and beans, Mexican fare has the complexity of a quadruple bypass. And as evidenced in the movie Like Water for Chocolate, tears are the most common ingredient…

New A&E Series Sugarloaf Set to Film in Miami

Move over Burn Notice, a new cable crime show is coming to town.Both The Hollywood Reporter and Variety report has picked up scripted-series Sugarloaf for 13 episodes, and the series will begin shooting in Miami soon for a premiere this summer.Though, unlike Burn Notice, the show actually won’t be set…

The Mermelstein Files: Max Testifies in Front of Joe Biden

This week, New Times presents “I, Max,” a feature story revealing what became of Medellín Cartel master smuggler Max Mermelstein after he cooperated with feds and entered the Witness Protection Program. We’ve obtained documents, some of them never before published, related to the underground informant.On August 17, 1989, underground smuggler-turned-informant…

The Busiest Gallery in Wynwood Might Be the Salvation Army

There is something shockingly different about Wynwood’s newest art emporium. The works lining the gritty space’s windows, walls, and aisles fly out the door in a single day. And on Wednesdays, you can snag an original painting or limited-edition framed print for half-off or a hefty discount. The blue-ticket prices…

Miami Free Times: Dietrich, Fossils, and Tutu

Monday:  We can’t believe it either. The posh W Hotel is hosting a free screening of Blonde Venus, staring Marlene Dietrich, as part of their “Dive-In” series with the Miami Beach Cinematheque.Tuesday: We think you need to chill out, you of the 6th most miserable city in America. Clear your…

Jen Stark, Freegums Among Artists Awarded Live-in Studio Space by LegalArts

LegalArt, in conjunction with the Knight Arts Foundation, has announced the first residents of its Live/Work program. What is Live/Work? LegalArt describes it as basically a subsidized artsy commune which will offer legal and professional services:LegalArt’s plan includes thirteen 900 square foot studios with a communal kitchen and showers; exhibition,…

Light Box at Goldman Warehouse: Secure Your Office Space

For the last four years, the Goldman Warehouse on 26th Street in the Wynwood Arts District was being used as an annex museum and storage space for the permanent collection of the Museum of Contemporary Art in North Miami. MOCA decided not to renew their lease last fall in order…

Terri and Donna Meet Taylor Kretschmar

First off, Terri and Donna aren’t real people. Like a lot of the stuff that comes spiraling out of the small gallery space at NW 36th Street and NW 2nd Avenue, T & D are fiction. Or a joke. Or both. To really know, you’d have to ask Diego Caro de…

The Time Newscast-Crashin’ Rapper Lyrikill Met Leslie Nielsen

So on Tuesday afternoon we were hanging out with Riptide’s new favorite rapper, live-TV-newscast crashing Lyrikill.com — yes, his MC name is a domain — outside of a Fort Lauderdale Walgreen’s. Why? Because that’s where his “sound engineer and bodyguard,” a rotund fellow named Doughboy, AKA King David, works. Duh…..

Locust Projects: Patronize Yourself Tonight

It’s time to get ultra-protective about Miami’s venues, galleries, and event spaces. There’s a bad trend going on: Upper Eastside Garden is closing; Wallflower might be on its way out too. So now’s the time to grab hold of spaces like Locust Projects and shove them under your wing.Now twelve…

Art capsules

“Art Encounters: Interstices Between Literature, Cinema, and Graphic Design” Through March 20. CCE Miami, 800 Douglas Rd., Ste. 170, Coral Gables; 305-448-9676; ccemiami.org. Monday through Friday 9:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Some people believe a picture is worth a thousand words, but others swear a well-made poster can more effectively…

Stage capsules

A Very Old Man With Enormous Wings Through March 14. By Gabriel García Márquez; adapted by Nilo Cruz. The Playground Theatre, 9806 NE Second Ave., Miami Shores; 305-751-9556, theplaygroundtheatre.com Nilo Cruz does Gabriel García Márquez! The Cuban-American, Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright adapted Márquez’s short story for a kids’ production at the…

Knockin’ Balls

We’ve finally found it! A sport for the lazy that actually reeks of high-class refinement. Invented by a rheumatic Frenchie who didn’t want to run after a ball, pétanque is deliciously played while standing still. In the same vein as lawn bowling, bocce, or boules, the point is to come…