It’s the last Monday in November, a few nights before Art Basel officially opens. Oscar Ascanio, owner of a fresh-hatched eponymous Wynwood gallery, stands outside his joint surveying the anemic crowds. The backfire of a rusty jalopy startles the gallerist and the few people entering his snazzy space. Ascanio doesn’t…
A massive project, taken up lightly by Disney in the giddy post-Lord of the Rings atmosphere and dropped upon failing to return the requisite billions, this third adaptation from C. S. Lewis’s seven-volume (!) Chronicles of Narnia comes underwritten by a new studio, 20th Century Fox, and with a new…
Who needs Time Square and that sour apple when you have Miami’s Bayfront Park and our Big Orange. The New Year is fast approaching so it’s time to congregate at our coolest waterfront park for the annual celebration of unmet resolutions and we’ll do better next year lamentations. Both USA…
The Restaurant at the Setai aims to please both carnivorous and vegetarian holiday revelers with a four-course Christmas Eve menu. From 7:30 to 11:30 p.m. meat eaters can tear into sausage-stuffed turkey or Peking duck salad for $85 per person, while veg-heads get dishes ranging from pumpkin veloute to clay-pot…
No, not the jolly old fat man, the guy at the reservations desk. Give yourself the present of not having to cook. But you’d better make those reservations soon, because once the books are full even St. Nick himself won’t be able to get you a table. At Chef Allen’s…
Get wired for a good cause at the Italian “tea” slated for Saturday afternoon at the Ritz-Carlton Coconut Grove. The swanky, Italian villa-style lobby will be the site of an afternoon soiree featuring an espresso bar and snacky-type foods from mini pizzas and panini to cookies and gelato, all to…
Punk rock auteur and zinester legend Erick Lyle focused most of his last book for Microcosm Press, On the Lower Frequencies, on his then-adopted hometown of San Francisco. Part investigative journalism, academic research, first-person narration, and oral history, the slim but thorough volume wove together radical action in San Francisco’s…
If the words prison sex, stinkfist, crawl away, or disgustipated make you smile, then you might be a predicate felon enjoying another stretch. How’d you get this paper in there, anyway? Or you could be a fan of Tool — that’s a band, and those are a few of their…
There’s a sort of unofficial rivalry between the Miami Heat and their Monday-night opponent, the Dallas Mavericks. It all started with Dwyane Wade’s otherworldly performance against Dallas in the 2006 NBA Finals; He crotch-clobbered the favored Mavs with a Jordane-esque showing in games three through six. When the Mavs took…
Remember the good old days of rave when the only thing fluorescent was your glow stick? Today’s youth aren’t content with a faint luminosity you have to keep in the freezer. They want to bathe in neon paint, which is why every stop on the DayGlow: The Fifth Element tour…
Long before the devastating earthquake reduced the country to rubble, Haiti was a country in shambles. A series of dictatorships dating back to the early 20th century — some sanctioned by the U.S., some not — conspired to keep the country poor and the poor without a voice. But just…
When Bill Parcells took reign and became the big kahuna of football for the Miami Dolphins in 2009, he drafted tackle Jake Long (instead of current MVP-candidate, quarterback Matt Ryan) when he had the first overall pick. It was a good, safe pick. And, unfortunately, that seemed to set the…
Even if you’re tired from all the eye candy at Art Basel earlier this month, save room for more sweets. In honor of its 25th anniversary and Lincoln Road’s 50th, ArtCenter/South Florida is showing “Good & Plenty,” an exhibit featuring a select group of alum and current artist residents. ACSF…
Ancient British costumes make a mockery of great men. Take George Frideric Handel for instance. In a 1733 portrait, he wears a lacy scarf, puffy shirt, and long white wig. Dude looks like an ugly and proud South Beach drag queen. Handel was born in Germany, but moved to the…
Come Thursday, any pretentiousness left over from this month’s Art Basel Miami Beach at the Miami Beach Convention Center better make for the exits fast . In its place: pure, unadulterated, commercial capitalism flourishing at an event where quality is frowned upon, and cheap, plentiful goods are held in higher…
It’s official: The holiday buildup has begun. And, in the U.S. at least, that means mostly one thing — shopping. For better or worse, Americans show love and holiday cheer through mass consumption. It’s not that other things aren’t important; we just like stuff. Expensive stuff. Cheap stuff. Big stuff…
Airily disregarding the Hemingway Unadaptability Principle, this quaintly racy version of Papa’s most hated novel has a few bullets in its barrel: Dynasty scion Jack Huston, as the Hem avatar, is dull but physically a perfect fit; the Mediterranean tourist-porn is addictive; and the story, unique in this particular corpus,…
If the U.S. techno scene has a leader, it might be Philly-native Josh Wink. The producer, remixer, and owner of Ovum Recordings keeps the genre in constant flux, never sounding outdated or irrelevant. Involved in the music scene since the early ’90s, Wink has worked with everyone from Trent Reznor…
Don’t know which hand to hold the whip in? Get sex, love, relationship advice from Mistress Lera by emailing askadomme@miaminewtimes.com. Read more about Mistress Lera at Notes From a Miami Dominatrix.Dear Mistress Lera, My boyfriend and I decided to take a break from our families and celebrate Christmas together this…
Another Art Basel Miami Beach is in the books. And with that, we wanted to take some time to look back at who actually made big strides last week, and those who, despite their best intentions, just fell flat on their faces. Here are the winners and losers during this…
In honor of our MasterMind genius awards, Cultist proudly presents “100 Creatives,” where we feature Miami’s cultural superheroes in random order. Have suggestions for future profiles? Email cultist@miaminewtimes.com with the whos and whys.62. Summer Hill The early life of writer/director/actor Summer Hill sounds like a Lifetime Channel movie. Born in…
Not everybody used Art Basel week to show their appreciation of art. A couple of losers used Miami and its signature art event as a platform to send us a giant “Fuck You” when they vandalized a wall mural at Vagabond last week. They wrote “Fuck Basel” over the mural…
