Rock Me, Amadeus

If you believe the film Amadeus, composer Antonio Salieri killed Mozart for being too awesome. In one scene, Salieri shares an arrangement with Mozart, who thinks it’s simply meh. Mozart then turns it into a march and uses it in his own opera, The Marriage of Figaro. Following Figaro’s massive…

Cockadoodle Food

Attention all roosters: For an evening of retro entertainment, grab your best hen (or best rooster. . . hell, who’s judging?) and wing it over to, well. . . Cha Cha Rooster at Lord’s SoBe, where singer Glenda Grainger caws all those hits of yesteryear at 8:30 and 10 p.m…

Ad Nauseum

London Transport advertisements are considered one of the most successful brand campaigns in history. Before you heckle us with Who cares? Do I look like one of those brain manipulators at Miami Ad School?, take a deep breath. Despite Naomi Klein’s anti-brand manifesto, No Logo, ads aren’t going anywhere anytime…

Rock of Ages Starts Filming in Miami with Tom Cruise and Alec Baldwin

Get out your Mickey Mouse autograph books out, star-fuckers. You might see Mexican heartthrob Diego Boneta (Rebelde), and  Dancing with the Stars champion Julianne Hough ’round the Magic City next month. This May, Rock of Ages, the film adaptation of the Broadway musical, begins production in Miami. Never heard of…

Meet the New “Mayor of Miami:” Lea Black

Our mamas always told us that patience is a virtue. Well, we officially believe them. After a bit of a boring season of Real Housewives of Miami, man, did things pick up during the live reunion last night? We mean, were we the only ones who were shocked? Every time…

Real Housewives of Miami Reunion: One Bitchy Train Wreck

Just like pilgrims descending from the Mayflower onto American soil, The Real Housewives of Miami broke ground last night by being the first housewives cast to have a live reunion. The result felt something like The View on crack. What pioneers! But, we have to admit, the live format seemed…

Real Housewives of Miami Reunion: The Drinking Game

The Real Housewives of Miami — or what we like to think of as the televised equivalent of an amuse-gueule (thanks, Top Chef) for the new season of The Real Housewives of New York — is about to wrap with a live reunion on Watch What Happens Live! tonight at…

Your Highness: Dirty Jokes for the D&D Crowd (+ Natalie Portman in a Thong)

Your Highness plays like a dirty-joke blooper reel made by the cast of a junky sword-and-sorcery epic, streaked with carelessly contemporary-sounding blue humor, blunt profanity replacing the naughty-naughty, tankard-sloshing, heaving-bosom ribaldry that goes with the period setting. The scene: a generic medieval realm from an EverQuest or Forgotten Realms module. In…

The Smell of Teen Spirit: Theater to Resurrect Kurt Cobain

Chances are if you’re between the ages of 28 to 38 you were a fan of Seattle band Nirvana. So it’s likely that your teenage reality was significantly shaken when you heard that frontman Kurt Cobain put a shotgun to his head and pulled the trigger on April 5, 1994…

Are Miamians Too Chicken to Read Poetry Aloud?

If someone approached you on the street and asked if they could film you reading poetry, would you say yes? Answer honestly. In fact, don’t bother answering. We already know the truth. Because when Toronto-based How Pedestrian tried to get Miamians to read poetry on film this weekend, about 90%…