Chad Ochocinco Shops at Urban Outfitters; We Offer Our Styling Suggestions

We at Cultist must confess a certain fondness for Urban Outfitters, purveyors of ironic tees, man-repelling women’s attire, and hipster gadgets of all sorts. There’s something comforting and innocent about the atmosphere inside the store, like being wrapped in a warm blanket of nonchalance and idealism.Apparently, New England Patriots wide…

Today’s Your Last Chance to Submit to the MasterMind Awards

It’s almost over, Cultist readers. After today, we’ll no longer inundate you with reminders about our MasterMind Awards, and how great they are, and how you should submit to them right this second because honestly, and we’re not just saying this, but you are, like, talented and stuff, and you…

Peen in 3-D And Other Delightful Reads on Sale This Week

The term “coffee table book” typically conjures images that delve into either insufferably dull or insufferably cute territory — things like the evolution of American coinage, or little puppies dressed up in Halloween costumes.However, with TASCHEN books proliferating tabletops nowadays, you’re more likely to set your cup of tea on…

You Must Take a Ride Down NE 2nd Avenue

​Teo Castellanos’ final words fired out at the audience like a cheer through a bullhorn, and the lights came up. I found myself not only standing and clapping, but also awkwardly fighting back tears I couldn’t explain. “Tears of overwhelm,” I decided later, was the best way to describe them,…

Casa de Ha-Ha Comedian Daniel Reskin Launching Podcast

Daniel Reskin, the Miami-born server-by-day, comic-by-night (we’re sure he’s a trained ninja somewhere in between there) just announced he’s releasing his own podcast. Because New Times boasts the speediest reporting known to mankind, we got in contact with Reskin as soon as we saw his tweet about the podcast project …..

Ten Best Things to do This Weekend in Miami

Oh hello, payday. We’ve been waiting for you all week, itching to burn through two-weeks worth of employer compensation on relevant arts and culture events, dance parties and all the other fun shit Miami has to offer. From communal, cultural celebrations in Little Haiti to Jewish girls gone wild in…

Kira’s Ready for Winter

Fashion Breakdown: Blue tweed jacket “don’t remember”; grey cashmere sweater (it’s a hand-me-down); plaid scarf from NY; “stupid glasses from LIV”; beanie from Paris; boots from thrift…

Wally Cardona and the Disorienting Experience of Tool Is Loot

Working separately, from New York and Paris, Wally Cardona and Jennifer Lacey are trying to undo themselves. For Tool Is Loot, their upcoming performance presented by Tigertail Productions at the Colony Theatre, they subjected their aesthetic assumptions to the opinions and desires of total strangers. Starting with separate “empty solos”…

Nine Old Folks With Mad Hot Skills

Old folks are kind of like monkeys. Not only do they occasionally sling their own poo for fun, but when they do something that normal humans do — like a dance — we find it entertaining/amazing/hilarious and want to shower them in nuts. (Or is that just our impulse? No…

Electro Goes Orchestral

Contemporary metal, R&B, and country have all done it: blending old and new music via symphonic rearrangements and backings. S&M, Metallica’s 1999 live album with the San Francisco Symphony, went platinum five times. John Legend teamed up with the KIPP Academy Orchestra a few years ago at the Teach for…

Two Dancers, Many Voices

What should you expect at the collaborative performance by boundary-breaking choreographers Wally Cardona and Jennifer Lacey, Tool Is Loot? A swan, a prince, a robot, sexual behavior, and two chairs — sometimes all at once, according to the duo. But that, of course, is simplistic and hardly conveys the creative…

War Onstage

One year after You Got Served brought dance-floor battles to the big screen in 2004, Nora Chipaumire was awarded a New York Dance and Performance Award for bringing a much deeper conflict to life through dance. Her work, Chimurenga, will be presented at the Light Box at Goldman Warehouse Friday…