Cross Hair Apparent

Poor Al D’Andrea. He’s doomed. It’s hard to look him in the eye because you know he’s going to die soon. Al is not an AIDS patient, a Somali warlord, a gangbanger, or a journalist in Bosnia-Herzegovina. It’s worse than that. Al is the latest guy to hold the job…

The Scarlet P

Susan Karrie Braun appears to be obsessed with the letter A. She’s taken the classic nineteenth-century Nathaniel Hawthorne novel, The Scarlet Letter, in which the initial worn on a young woman’s chest stood for adultery, and updated it to signify AIDS in a performance art/play/polemic called ‘A’ Scarlet Letter, currently…

Repel A Law

The Firm is one of those so-so movies critics dread. It’s like generic vanilla ice cream A tasty enough to satisfy a craving, but not compelling enough to go out of your way for. It’s not bad. It’s just bland. Like Last Action Hero, five writers share in the blame…

I Like Ike

Tina Turner is the heroine of What’s Love Got to Do With It. The dramatic sequences in the rock siren’s film bio hammer home the point that Turner (formerly Anna Mae Bullock from Nutbush, Tennessee) overcame huge odds and years of physical abuse to become the international megastar that she…

Play Tripper

Along with passing out at the wheel because the car’s AC abruptly conks out at high noon, and showering six times a day, one of the charming oddities of the summer months in South Florida is the opportunity to view eccentric types of theater otherwise not presented or generally overlooked…

Ignite Moves

I never cease to be pleased by how much I learn on this job. When I first saw one of my personal favorite plays A Lanford Wilson’s lust story Burn This A in 1987 on Broadway, I would have sworn that above and beyond the brilliance of the work itself,…

Violence Is Golden

Privately, so as not to give away your age, ask yourself a question: Do you remember when Ralph Bakshi’s Fritz the Cat was considered scandalous enough to merit an X rating from the MPAA? How the fun thing to do was smoke a couple of joints and head down to…

The Postmodernator

Yikes. Just when you thought Arnold was nearly as invincible at the box office as the on-screen characters he’s been playing, along comes Last Action Hero to put his survival skills to the test. Last Action Hero has the feel of a movie that can’t make up its mind what…

Fine Dino

At last! A big-budget summer movie that actually lives up to the hype. Jurassic Park is the cinematic equivalent of a doctoral thesis on special effects wizardry from director Steven Spielberg. It’s also a heart-stopping, jaw-dropping, eye-popping spectacular that supplies all the vicarious thrills of a trip to Disney World…

Fecal Attraction

Cute kids are a regular feature of Steven Spielberg’s movies, but it will be a cold day in Jurassic Park before a Spielberg film embraces a family like Leolo Lozone’s. “Because I dream, I’m not,” intones the youngster at the center of Jean-Claude Lauzon’s semiautobiographical tour de force, Leolo. Not…

Faux Jest

When I was much younger and wanted something badly, such as a cable- knit sweater or a parakeet, I used to tell my mother that everybody had one. “Everyone?” she would inquire, with an arched left eyebrow. “If everyone jumped off the Woolworth building, would you do it, too?” I…

Descend in the Clowns

Seems like everywhere you look these days, something’s falling. America has fallen on hard times. The dollar has fallen in value against the yen. President Clinton’s approval rating, SAT scores, GNP, consumer confidence A falling, falling, falling, falling. Everywhere you look, standards are dropping, heroes are backsliding, institutions are toppling…

Summertime News

Snowbirds swiftly flying the co-op believe that the soggy South Florida summer results in nothing more than lethargic attempts at action and lazy, hazy days spotlighted largely by sweaty naps. Juan Cejas and Maria Romeu of the ACME Theater and Mario Ernesto Sanchez of Teatro Avante don’t agree. For these…

A Piece of the Rock

A living actor portrays a dead actor who, while he was alive, was a gay man pretending to be straight who made a movie wherein he played a straight man who seduced a woman by pretending to be gay. Confused? Imagine how Rock Hudson felt. Rock Hudson’s Home Movies, opening…

Seminal Vehicle

Audiences are incredibly tolerant when it comes to romantic comedies. Inane dialogue, contrived plots, transparent sentimentality A all is forgiven if the filmmaker is able to create the illusion of even the remotest strain of chemistry between the principals. That goes double for movies that revolve around the matchmaking of…

Pianist Envy

The term “unsung hero” usually applies to volunteer firemen or people who tend to the sick without compensation or publicity. But there is another unsung figure of import: the artistic hero who lives and dies in obscurity, who skips the occasional family dinner to wander down to the beach and…

Part Doo-Doo

Back in 1980, writer-directors David and Jerry Zucker and Jim Abrahams teamed up to create Airplane!, the landmark send-up of one of the most cliche-ridden, typecast, overwrought melodramas of all time, Airport. Airplane! was silly, schmaltzy shtick that worked because it dared to be stupid at a time when it…

Beijing There

The venerable director of Ju Dou (1990) and Raise the Red Lantern (1991), the first Chinese films ever nominated for Academy Awards (in spite of the fact that they have yet to be released in the country where they were shot), was sixteen years old when Mao and the Red…

Curious George

When we found out that I might not grow to be taller than five feet, my family took to reminding me that “good things come in small packages.” This overused aphorism came to mind as I sat in the Miami Actor’s Studio A which holds no more than 50 people…

Eat My Shorts

It could have been a disaster. The cardinal rules of good party throwing were broken. Anticipating a crowd of 300, the organizers of the Premiere Night Gala Screening Program of the first annual Make-A-Film Competition were not prepared for the nearly 500 folks who showed up. The caterer ran out…

Fried Rhys

The good news is that Karina Lombard is great in bed. The bad news is that the novice thespian’s acting skills drop off precipitously the further she ventures from the boudoir. Luckily Wide Sargasso Sea, the cinematic adaptation of Jean Rhys’s 1966 novel, calls for Antoinette (the tragic heroine played…

Luv Stinks

In the time I’ve occupied this position, I’ve seen dozens of shows A some good, a few excellent, and many fair, poor, or simply awful. However, I’ve only twice found it necessary for the maintenance of my sanity to leave at intermission after experiencing just one of two acts: first…