Arts & Culture

Look, you have to stop hanging out at that elementary school. Why? Because you’re 36 years old. Yes, recess is awesome, but you’re three decades older than all the other kids. Also, when Derek was hogging the swing and you guys got into a fight, the law considers that child…

French philosopher Voltaire said, “Poetry is the music of the soul, and above all, of great and feeling souls.” But that was in the Eighteenth Century. Today poetry is about as popular among the general masses as French wine was during the runup to the Iraq War. But combining music…

His CD, Retaliation, was the first comedy CD to bust into the Top 5 on the Billboard charts since Steve Martin’s A Wild and Crazy Guy in 1978; his MySpace page has more than 700,000 friends; and he kissed Charlize Theron’s ass on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. If…

This week’s South Beach Comedy Festival means a veritable who’s who of funny people will be invading the city with a slew of almost sold-out events. Well, our local comedians deserve some love too, and they’re taking the plunge by launching their first full-length DVD. The Miami Comics: Back in…

He hasn’t filmed any new episodes of Comedy Central’s Insomniac with Dave Attell for a few years, but the titular stand-up comedian/fall-down drunk somehow manages to pass the time. In 2005, for example, not only did Dave Attell release his first live DVD, Hey, Your Mouth’s Not Pregnant; appear in…

According to Chiquita, bananas are quite possibly the world’s most perfect food. The banana’s thicker-skinned brother, the plantain, is arguably the world’s most versatile. Ripe ones fried with sugar are known as amarillos or maduros. When fried green and pounded flat into disks, they are called tostones and are often…

As they leap across the stage, executing perfect pirouettes and high kicks, it is impossible not to be in awe of these leggy dancers. Exuding grace and strength, the “World Famous” Lipizzaner Stallions are marching into town to celebrate their 36th anniversary season. You may remember the Lipizzaners from the…

It is suddenly hip to be a Jew. From the marketing of “yarmuclaus” — the pate covering of choice for celebrating Chrismukkah with your friends, as seen on The OC — to hilarious T-shirts featuring the silhouette of two Hasidic Jews holding a bottle of Tanqueray above the phrase “Gin…

During the past few years, Arte del Barrio, a collaborative troupe of painters, photographers, sculptors, auteurs, musicians, and actors, has been on a whirlwind tear, organizing exhibits, initiating community-oriented projects with an emphasis on education, and basically showing the public a rip-snorting time. Tonight the tight-knit collective raises the curtain…

Playwright Glyn O’Malley doesn’t do pretty parlor pieces. He took on the Serbian bombing of Sarajevo in Concertina’s Rainbow, a soldier’s family tremors during Operation Iraqi Freedom in A Heartbeat to Baghdad, and now, in Paradise, the mother of all conflicts as experienced by a Palestinian girl (Beatriz Montañez) and…

Take time to smell the strawberries on Rob’s Redland Riot, a fruity, tropical history tour. Get off Miami’s beaten path and head way down south, where urban sprawl makes way for U-pick farms. Sip shakes at Burr’s Berry Farm, admire the flora at R.F. Orchids, nibble a sticky bun at…

Darryl Counts has been putting on The Show — An Old School Step Show for the past three years. But this year the event coordinator is particularly psyched. The performance fundraiser used to be held in a smaller venue, Florida Memorial University. “We sold out. We had to turn people…

It is difficult to deny we live in a throwaway society. We all visit the curb twice a week, unceremoniously dumping a chunk of our lives next to the road, where the junk awaits the garbage collector. At a time when we often seek the extraordinary in the disposable, garbage…

Nine years have passed since Celine and Jesse first met and spent an unforgettable night together in Vienna in Richard Linklater’s 1995 film Before Sunrise. They parted — with the promise to meet again in six months — without exchanging phone numbers or addresses. In 2004’s Before Sunset, Jesse (Ethan…

Dance elitists and simple lovers of fancy footwork will be pleased with the pieces that made it to Miami City Ballet’s Program II. With both a nod to the “pink ballets” of the Nineteenth Century and a wink at vaudevillian high jinks, the performance ties together pieces from dance notables…

When isn’t there a party at the hotels on South Beach? It seems every weekend crowds of beautiful people spill out of chic lounges and into the busy streets. This weekend the party atmosphere will take over Ocean Drive completely. Ladies and gents, welcome to the 29th annual Art Deco…

The Florida Panthers began the new year right with a win in Buffalo, only to be blanked by the New Jersey Devils two days later. As we were busy cheering on the scrappy felines during the remainder of their five-game road trip in the Northeast, we also celebrated the news…

An outrageous production within a production, Noises Off is a kooky farce about an inept theater troupe’s production of a sex lampoon titled Nothing On. As the cast dallies in workplace romances, and alcohol-fueled backstage arguments erupt into brawls involving sardines, they struggle to continue on with the show. Members…

Long before the mainstream got drawn into animation for adults with The Simpsons, Family Guy, and King of the Hill, Spike and Mike discovered there was an audience for what some might call “cartoons.” Craig “Spike” Decker and Mike Gribble began in the Seventies, screening animated shorts with concert and…

Pity the college basketball coach. He toils endlessly to explain the vagaries of offensive sets and defensive zones. He frets over lineups, injuries, and scouting reports. His job is never safe — one losing season, and it’s back to teaching bounce passes to the JV girls at St. Elizabeth’s. Few…