Imagine for a minute you were a fan of, say, the Milwaukee Bucks or, God forbid, the Knicks. No superstars and no championship rings there. You probably wouldn’t go to many games. Now imagine a visiting team that somehow featured Lebron James and Dwyane Wade: two young, once-in-a-generation talents who…
Ten years ago I attended one of Woody Allen’s New Orleans Jazz Band gigs — the stuff of legend, held every Monday night at Michael’s Pub on East 55th Street in Manhattan. These shows were supposedly so sacred to Woody that he never missed one; back when the Academy Awards…
History repeats itself: Eleven Decembers ago, Universal had the season’s strongest movie — a downbeat sci-fi flick freely adapted from a well-known source by a name director. With a bare minimum of advance screenings and a shocking absence of hype, the studio dumped it. This year they’ve done it again…
Bankrupt and brain-damaged in Rocky V, a bout fought so long ago that the other Bush was still sucker-punching Saddam, Sylvester Stallone’s titular pugilist returns to issue another beating in Rocky Balboa. How much punishment can an audience take? Even 007 gets his license renewed by younger models every decade,…
Ben Stiller — as usual, frazzled with a touch of hipster frump — is a divorced dad in need of a gig, lest his cutie-pie kid (Jake Cherry) wind up spending all of his time with uptight bond-trading New Dad (Paul Rudd, wasted in a straight-laced cameo). So Stiller’s Larry…
Dear New Times Reader: You are hip and young, or so we tell the advertisers. In 2006 you turned the entertainment culture on its ear with your bloggings and YouTubings. You whipped Congress like it was an obstinate mule and burned America in effigy at the altar of Sacha Baron…
Unlike the swarm of carpetbaggers that swooped into town for the Basel piñata and fled after clogging local gutters with tawdry flyers, crumpled wine cups, and broken beer bottles, Pan American Art Projects is here to stay. The Dallas-based venture recently opened its fresh-hatched Wynwood digs with the muscular work…
Jackass Number Two: Unrated (Paramount) The sequel to the dumb-ass jamboree makes its predecessor look plain and inoffensive. In short: more puke, more blood, more semen (from a horse, consumed nonetheless), more shit, more piss, more everything till you’d think the Jackasses (Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Chris Pontius, etc.) would be…
Imagine two game producers rushing down the hall. One wants to pitch a WW2 game, the other a sci-fi shooter. They round a corner, crash into each other, and their papers go flying everywhere — and in one of those great “You got chocolate in my peanut butter!” moments, Resistance:…
Airwolf: Season Two (Universal) Be With Me (Film Movement) Dane Cook’s Tourgasm (HBO) Danica (First Look) Factotum (IFC) The Family Values Tour 2006 (Firm Music) Girls Behaving Badly, Volume One (Starlight) Haven (Fox) Mars Invades the Earth! (Alpha) Mi Amigo (Velocity) Mr. Fix It (First Look) The New Adventures of…
The socks suck, the new pants are too short, and you really didn’t need another copy of Seven Habits for Highly Boring People. But Santa came through with the right present from his giant sack: another sack — a smaller, greener, stickier sack of goodness that will be the perfect…
Are you ready for another typical Miami New Year’s bash? First you need at least a grand to pay for inflated cover charges and overpriced drinks. Then you need a fabulous outfit and a practiced air of approachable indifference for all the imported celebs who will be hosting parties at…
Before stereos could go to eleven and the Dundies were awarded, Woody Allen answered one of the most puzzling questions of all: “What does abt mean?” It was posed by a teller to the bank robbery-obsessed loser played by Allen, Virgil Starkwell, in the mockumentary Take the Money and Run,…
Craving hot wax at a tender age, Lisa M. cut her first album, Trampa, at fourteen. The record went gold, making the fiery Puerto Rican performer the highest-paid female Latin rapper at the time. Since her sophomore followup No Lo Derrumbes in 1990 went platinum, the self-described barrio homegirl went…
When you are what people euphemistically refer to as “a big girl,” you get treated differently. Everyone assumes you’re a jolly, maternal figure who would make an excellent comedic sidekick but could never be the star of the show. Miami native Jennylin Duany is out to shatter that stereotype with…
Maybe it’s the challenge of testing yourself against the best, or perhaps simply the thrill of the unexpected, but humans take a fundamental sort of pleasure in beating people at their own game. And hockey is, without a doubt, Canada’s game. If you’ve ever set foot in that sub-Arctic land,…
Though the Israel of today didn’t exist in biblical times, the wise guys publicizing the new Israel Baseball League tryouts still went to the Good Book to hype the event, noting that the Rebecca of Genesis (24:45) knew something about using a bullpen: “Behold, Rebecca brought forth her pitcher.” Beginning…
Partying, bathing suits, and beautiful women are often considered specialties of Brazil (although Miami comes in at a close second). Tonight you can enjoy all of these things and more at the Blame It on Rio party at the Raleigh Hotel. Get the New Year’s debauchery started early at this…
The Museum of Contemporary Art closes out the year with a night of jazz by moonlight. Tonight’s Jazz at MoCA artist is Brian Murphy, a master of the art of instinctive perfection, a style called spontaneous composition. About his love of this seat-of-the-pants style of jazz, Murphy says, “I like…
For jaded hipsters looking to tear into 2007 with some avant flair, the Carnival Center for the Performing Arts’ bold salute to the new year looks improbably good. Tonight the Big Orange’s miracle near the bay is featuring Mikel Rouse’s The End of Cinematics, cosponsored by Miami New Times and…
Steve Trevino’s path to comedy stardom began like most acts: Winning the second-grade talent show with his jokes made him an elementary school superstar. A bouncer job at the Dallas Improv led to a gig as the house MC, and a touring comedian gave Trevino the big break most struggling…
Sitting cross-legged in the beautiful outdoor courtyard at the Standard Hotel, twirling an ancient Tibetan prayer wheel, Nada yoga master Bhagavan Das looks the part of a wizened mystic. His graying beard is so dense that a nest of hummingbirds could make a comfortable home in it; rivulets of thick…
