My Fair TV Alternative

TV land is all abuzz about the writers’ strike, and avid couch potatoes — us included — have been losing their minds with all the reruns. And since it looks as if the strike has no end, and we’ve watched every DVD in our collection, we’ve taken to exploring other…

Can They Massage My Boss Away?

Yeah, you’ve been sitting on your ass all day at work, but by the time the clock strikes 5, you’re in need of some serious R&R. It must be all of those trips to the vending machine, the MySpace page building, and the long hours gossiping on the phone. Sounds…

New York Loves/Hates Miami

Mid-beach and South Beach ranked five and six, respectively in a recent New York Times travel piece touting 53 places to visit in 2008. The writer lavished: “Move over South Beach. The iconic Eden Roc Resort and Fontainebleau Miami Beach — faded glitterati hangouts designed by Morris Lapidus — will…

Don’t Mess With The Queen

Sly Stallone gets a good look at Lancaster She’s like seven feet tall in heels, usually clad in a brightly colored mini dress accessorized with a trademark towering blonde mane. You can hear her honeyed Georgia drawl from across a room. Elaine Lancaster is the most visible and celebrated queen…

Splendid Art at EdgeZones, Not So Splendid

Elvis Ramirez Art goers take in an installation at EdgeZones during Art Basel 2007. With the plethora of Art Basel events going on this past weekend, there was no way to catch all of it. In fact, I’m willing to bet that a lot of the smaller events were overlooked…

No More! Bye For Now, Basel

No more art. Not for a few weeks, anyway. Not to say Art Basel wasn’t jolly and everything, but we’ve got a pounding art hangover to nurse. Call us lightweights, but while some of the art was as fine brandy to the palate, we definitely got slammed by a 40…

Now That’s What We Call Art

Probably my favorite stop at Art Basel was Fountain Miami, a “guerilla-style” art fair at 2841 North Miami Avenue. Here’s why: A woman writhed around on concrete in a slick, black octopus suit; the exhibiting artist responsible for Americunt; and art could be had for just $40. But check this…

Over the Weekend – Basel, Busta, Riley and Chavez

Maybe you were holed up with all the lights off trying to avoid bearing witness to another Dolphins loss, or maybe the cold sweats inducing traffic and parking madness deterred you, but otherwise you probably hit up Art Basel in one form or another, whether it was the actual show…

Art Basel – Bridge Art Fair Opening

Wayne Coe’s Scumble Bum, selling for $1,000 at the Bridge Art Fair. Flashes of conscience mingled among polished art sniffers who trod over the red shag carpet of the Catalina Hotel for Thursday’s opening night reception of the Bridge Art Fair. Exhibitors from both coasts, Dusseldorf, Copenhagen, Paris and Canada…

Dark Days and Nights in Havana

Many Americans — at least the ones who don’t live in Miami — assume that Cuba is a tropical paradise, a place where smiling, happy people salsa dance and drink rum all day, while the dutiful Socialist government educates and cares for its citizens like a benevolent papa. After my…

Ron Jeremy, Adult Video Awards and a Chest Autograph

Photo by Tracy Block Well endowed with sexual intentions, Ron Jeremy poses for a picture with himself at the Hustler store in South Beach Wednesday night. Last night, celebrity photographer Michael Grecco titillated Art Basel with the release party for his book “Naked Ambition: An R-Rated Look at an X-Rated…

Who’s Your Super Friend? Heroes Arrive for Basel

Holy Basel Schmazel Batman! Who are all those spandex-clad avengers bruising up eyeballs around town? Aquaman, Thor, The Silver Surfer, Ms. Marvel, The Wonder Twins, Super Girl, and Cat Woman have all been spotted at the Miami Beach Convention Center and in Wynwood the past two days, leaving bewildered bystanders…

Crowd at In Fashion ’07 as Stylish as the Photos on Display

Last night’s opening fete for the Miami Beach Art Photo Expo: In Fashion ’07 was a mostly subdued affair, with a soigné crowd sipping free vodka tonics and lulled into quiet admiration by the burbling sounds of the Surfcomber hotel’s pool. Its long, blue expanse, capped by a waterfall, served…

10 Rules for Sponging Off Basel

1. FIND FREE FOOD. Art fair and family-style barbecue? That’s Scope Miami when it presents a Q&A with emerging Miami artists who created its large-scale and site-specific sculptures — plus its services at the grill. Sunday, December 9, 4 to 6 p.m. Roberto Clemente Park, 101 NW 34th St., Miami…

Lost Cause

Casting Nicole Kidman as The Golden Compass’s glacial, intractably smooth megalomaniac Mrs. Coulter is no less inspired for being obvious. Indeed she was the one and only choice for director Chris Weitz, who adapted this first installment of Philip Pullman’s “His Dark Materials” trilogy. Despite the book’s description of the…

Darfur Now

Can-do pep is the resonant key in this profile of six individuals, spread across three continents, working to provide relief in western Sudan. Featured are a sheik displaced by internecine warfare, International Criminal Court prosecutor Dr. Luis Moreno-Ocampo, a young L.A.-based activist, and … Don Cheadle. The film tarries briefly…

Future Shock

For a game that’s considered Microsoft’s premier 360 title this holiday season, it’s amazing how sloppy Mass Effect is. Graphical glitches distract from otherwise fascinating character designs and alien vistas, constant stops and stutters lengthen load times, and the inventory system must be the worst in history. And just as…

Soul Porn

Danny and the Deep Blue Sea was a last-minute addition to the Alliance Theatre Lab’s season. It was an economics thing, apparently. Danny’s got two actors and almost no set, so it’s easy to produce. Actually it’s probably easy in all respects: easy to direct, easy to star in. John…

Our Top DVD Picks Scheduled for Release This Week

Battlestar Galactica: Razor (Universal) The Best of Crank Yankers (Paramount) Bob Hope: MGM Movie Legends Collection (MGM) Erik the Viking: The Director’s Cut (MGM) Exiled (Magnolia) The Flash Gordon Collection (Passport) Tyler Perry’s House of Payne (Lionsgate) Ingmar Bergman: Four Masterworks (Criterion) Lady Chatterly (Kino) Law & Order: Special Victims…

Stage Capsules

Cosi Fan Tutte: Lorenzo Da Ponte’s translated libretto of the Mozart opera is bolstered by good comic acting, especially from tenor Brian Anderson and baritone Michael Todd Simpson. Except for Susanne Mentzer (Despina), whose role demands a lot of funnily voiced character singing, there is never a metallic note from…

Hidden Treasure

While high-power collectors were fingering six-figure price tags inside the Miami Beach Convention Center during Art Basel last year, I hit the jackpot for less than the cost of entering the prestigious fair. While slumming in Wynwood, checking out the hundreds of visiting dealers who’d transformed the area into an…

Cellar Beware

The Girl Next Door (Anchor Bay) If the horror of Saw were a poblano pepper, this here is a habanero. Derived sometimes word-for-word from Jack Ketchum’s infamous novel — itself based on a true story — Girl Next Door is a sort of Hostel meets Stand by Me: A group…