Buckle those seat belts, kids, we're going for a drive. No, not to Chuck E. Cheese's. Your father still hasn't recovered from that last bout of salmonella. We're off to see Miami in all its glory. There was a time, you know, when we were so segmented, when all the crazy parts of this town rubbed right up against each other. That's why we're cruising onto NW North River Drive — in just one mile, we'll see many pieces of this town. You kids listening? Stop hitting your sister! Look, there's the first piece: As we pass under I-95, notice the colony of homeless folks living alongside the Miami River. Yes, it is sad, but it's part of life here, kids. Now we're headed north: Look to the left — it's the beating, blue-collar heart of our seafood business. At Garcia's and Casablanca fish markets, you can get the catch of the day right off the boat. Speaking of which, take a gander at the river out there — drink in that mix of rusted-out trawlers, net-choked fishing boats, and barges trucking by. That's some legit old-school Miami, kids! But that's not it. Pay attention as we round that curve. See all the Bentleys and Beemers waiting for the valet? It's Seaspice, the swankiest spot in town. Yep, those are big boats out there, son; those are megayachts. And there you have it, kiddos — Miami and all its weirdness in one easy drive. OK, OK, we're hungry too. No, we can't afford Seaspice. Let's bust a U-turn and get some conch fritters at Garcia's.