The Dimwitted Nitpickers Association (DNA) recently convened for its annual meeting at Salumeria 104, the new midtown Miami shop that specializes in cured meats and other prepared foods.
"First thing I don't like about this place is they spell salami
wrong," said Ed "Crabby" Appleton, one of the group's veterans. "Whoever heard of a u
?""You know what bugs me?" groused Sharon "Shush!" Schwartz. "They've got speck, bresaola, guanciale, cacciatoriano, mortadella, and two types of prosciutto — but not a hint of olive loaf in sight!""And they slice the antipasti too thin and dainty. I prefer my ham cut like steaks," whined Jack "Huh?" Carlson. But then a new member spoke up. "This place may not have olive loaf, but it has bright-red Italma slicing machines that cut the imported charcuterie paper-thin. That's the way it's supposed to be, Jack. And all those salumi — by the way, Ed, all salami is salumi, but not all salumi is salami — are prettily placed upon wooden cheese boards for just $6 per choice (although the prosciutto di Parma and San Daniele are $10 and $12, which ain't bad for those precious pork products). Plus bottles of wine start at $20 and get poured in tumblers. Oh yeah, the bread is baked fresh daily by Spuntino Bakery. So there you have it: the salumeria trifecta of great cured meats, delicious breads, and affordable wines. And chef/partner Angelo Masarin makes a spinach noodle lasagna and other authentic regional dishes that are worth a trip here even if you don't like salumi. The room is casual, service is friendly — you have to love this place! As a matter of fact, I can't wait to try the other 103!" "Hey, Bud," said Ed. "You're with the wrong group. The Dimwitted Realists are meeting at that table up front."