Support Us

Miami's independent source of
local news and culture

I support

Miami New Times
Miami New Times
Local
Community
Journalism
Support the independent voice of Miami and help keep the future of New Times free.
Support Us

Best Turncoat

Alex Penelas

"Hence! Wilt thou lift up Florida?"

"Great Gore --"

"Doth not Alex bootless kneel?"

"Speak, hands for me!"

"Et tu, Alex? Then fall, Gore."

Best Place To Make Up

NE Second Avenue beneath the I-395 overpass

If you want to get back together good and fast, just spend a half-hour or so together in this dark, desolate zone of urban destitution. Seven years ago a huge homeless encampment known as the Mud Flats was spread out here, and despite a multimillion-dollar cleanup and relocation, the area is still a haven for people with serious problems: window-washers, panhandlers, all manner of lame and halt. They don't so much live here anymore as work here -- there's money in those SUVs trapped in lines at the traffic lights leading to the expressway entrance ramps. This is the time and the place where you and your estranged need each other most. You need, at all costs, to escape from these looming shadows, and this you can do with the help of that wonderful person next to you, clutching your arm like a tourniquet, who will never let you go again.

Best Tollbooth

Broad Causeway

Maybe it's the unobstructed view of the Intracoastal Waterway one gets driving along this winding strip of road that connects Bay Harbor Islands to North Miami. Perhaps it's the fact that, with relatively little traffic coming through, the tollbooth operators will take not only your money but the time to wish you a nice day or a good evening. Whatever the reason we don't mind that it costs 50 cents each way. Really.

Best Place To Meet Single Women

Mango's Tropical Café

Mango's Tropical Cafe
Courtesy of Mango's Tropical Cafe
The frozen drinks and spicy merengue beat have a way of shaking loose a girl's inhibitions. This Ocean Drive patio bar is full of out-of-town women looking for a Miami adventure. Slick back your hair, splash on the alluring cologne, and join the local Lotharios on the dance floor. Don't worry if you don't know how to salsa. If you can fake it well enough, you'll be a mambo king in the eyes of that little blond sales rep from South Jersey.

Best Of Miami®

Best Of Miami®

Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.

Get the latest updates in news, food, music and culture, and receive special offers direct to your inbox.

Become a member and go ad-free!

Support Our Journalism
Privacy Policy
The Party's Over!

This Week's Issue

California Privacy Policy California Collection Notice
Do Not Sell My Info
Use of this website constitutes acceptance of our terms of use, our cookies policy, and our privacy policy The Miami New Times may earn a portion of sales from products & services purchased through links on our site from our affiliate partners. ©2021 Miami New Times, LLC. All rights reserved.
Powered By Foundation