Miami's independent source of
local news and culture
Host: How many?
Host (impatiently): How many in your party?
Patron: Oh. Four.
Host: That'll be a two-hour wait.
Patron (disbelieving): Huh?
Host (shouting): Two hours!
Patron (still not sure he heard correctly): Huh??
Host: Two hours! Two hours!
Act II: The bar
Bartender: What'll it be?
Bartender (impatiently): What do you want to drink?
Patron: Oh. I'll have a gin and tonic.
Patron (shouting): Gin and tonic!
Act III: The dining room, five gin and tonics later.
Waiter: Can I take your order?
Patron is silent.
Waiter (shouting): Whaddya want to eat?
Patron tilts sideways in his chair and falls over with a loud thump. The captain is called over. He assesses the situation and then drags the man out by his ankles to make way for the next party. The man's head bumps on the tile all the way to the door: thwack, thwack, thwack, thwack.... And you thought all that noise was from cracking stone crab shells.
Join the New Times community and help support independent local journalism in Miami.
Get the latest updates in news, food, music and culture, and receive special offers direct to your inbox.
Become a member and go ad-free!