Father’s Day is Sunday and you haven’t bought him anything, you ungrateful pud. Here are some items you can bid on as of Friday afternoon to thank the man who watched your mom give birth to you. They’re all within 50 miles of Miami, so you can run and pick…
Former MLB all-star José Canseco, now the manager of an Arizona minor-league team, uses his Twitter account for a lot of things: proposing (repeatedly) to his girlfriend, complaining about his girlfriend, looking for new girlfriends.But on Thursday evening, right after he requested to trade an autographed bat for “2 or…
Some communities debate over police levels, school funding and the mayor’s race — you know, real issues.Coral Gables burdens itself with pickup trucks.Starting August 8, the city will once again enforce a ban on parking a pickup truck on the street or in a driveway between 7 p.m. and 7…
It was an innocent post: Mavericks guard DeShawn Stevenson got arrested when he was found drunk in an apartment complex. If he hadn’t called the Heat “classless” earlier this week, there probably wouldn’t have been a write-up. The finals are long over, but it was a chance to poke back…
Dallas Maverick and all-around shitty person DeShawn Stevenson done got himself arrested. What a pity.Stevenson, who called the Miami Heat “classless” after game 6 and then showed up in Dallas the next day wearing a T-shirt that said “Hey LeBron! How’s my Dirk taste,” was arrested last night after he…
We get it already — the Heat lost. It was sad. But another team has been defending Miami’s honor, and these guys actually won a championship — Florida Beach Soccer FC, a five-man team of footballers with professional credentials who are now the North American Sand Soccer champions.It’s more serious…
About 9,000 people from across the country entered the “Marry Me in Miami” contest for a wedding at the Biltmore Hotel in Coral Gables worth $150,000, according to organizers at the Greater Miami Convention & Visitors Bureau.Five couples were randomly chosen from as far away as Chicago to compete June…
Banner Supply Company was ordered Tuesday to pay hundreds of Florida homeowners $55 million dollars for selling them Chinese drywall that emitted sulfurous gases, according to Reuters. The gas smells horrible and is believed to have damaged wiring and appliances and caused illnesses in the homes where it was installed.The…
Pornographers of Miami: Order more business cards.The XBIZ Summit — partially sponsored this year by the “PussyCash Affiliate Network” — is an annual three-day networking event for “online adult business professionals,” and it’s headed for the city next summer, according to adult industry news site XBIZ.com…
In a commanding step forward for the objectification of women, odds makers have put Miss Florida USA Lissette Garcia at 40-1 to win the Miss USA Pageant this Sunday. Miss California is the favorite at 3-1, and Garcia currently sits tied for 24th in the rankings.It’s hard to believe Garcia didn’t…
Well, insult has been definitively added to injury. After they stomped the Miami Heat 105-95 in game 6, the NBA champion Dallas Mavericks — and owner Mark Cuban — went clubbing on South Beach.Yup. The same Dirk Nowitzki who was so coolly walking into the locker room alone after the…
Note: This log, apparently describing an NBA Finals-themed drinking game played by a group of Miami Heat fans, was discovered late Sunday night. The fate of the heartbroken revelers is not known.FIRST QUARTER12:00 — All right, time for tip-off! Super excited to have all this booze. Keeping my laptop handy to…
The Heat are down 3-2. Dwyane Wade has a busted hip. LeBron James had a triple-double and still, somehow, looked horrible. It was a bad night.But it doesn’t have to be a bad day, too. Cheer up! Make yourself feel better by winning an argument about the game. Don’t bother…
Former Miami-Dade mayoral candidate Luther Campbell has endorsed Julio Robaina for the June 28 runoff election.Robaina’s campaign called a press conference in Liberty City for 12:30 today. After arriving an hour and a half late, Campbell said he had spoken with both Robaina and opponent Carlos Gimenez and chose to…
Update 2:54 p.m.: Rick Scott spokesman Lane Wright said there’s no day of prayer and no Florida event planned, and that Scott has not committed either way to the Texas event.Update 7:22 p.m.: Welp, Wright was wrong. He called back and said the governor actually issued a proclamation last month…
If you were considering putting in a call to a company advertising “Growth Spurt” pills on a local radio station, don’t.It sounds appealing — the company’s website, geared toward parents of children who are too small to succeed in sports, says it’s the “safest height advancement program … considered a…
It was like nobody told the Heat fans it was an away game.American Airlines Arena hosted a “road rally” in the stands Tuesday night to watch the live broadcast of game 4 of the NBA Finals, and that place was full. Say what you will about Miami fans, but more…
Anderson Cooper will examine a “shocking ‘experimental therapy’ designed to make feminine boys more masculine” on his show at 10 p.m. Tuesday. The story centers around 38-year-old Kirk Murphy, who killed himself in 2003.His family blames therapy Murphy went through as a young child at the hands of North Miami’s…
Welp, it’s official — the Honorable Dong from New York’s 9th District is “Weiner” by both name and hobby. Democratic Rep. Anthony Weiner admitted yesterday that he did indeed tweet a picture of his stiffy to the entire Internet last week. There were also gross, awkwardly muscly pictures sent to…
Ron Artest, the NBA’s favorite halftime-boozing, riot-inducing maniac, has gotten quite interested in this year’s NBA Finals — unencumbered by playoff obligations of his own, he’s been making predictions for a week despite not knowing what day the games are on or what city they’re being played in.Stunning statistical analysis aside,…
For game 3 of the NBA Finals against the Mavericks, the Miami Heat will be going on the road and into unpleasant territory. Not just unpleasant for opposing professional sports teams — we’re talking bad for everybody.There has been plenty of good-natured trash talk bouncing back and forth — cries…
About 200 residents gathered in front of Miami Beach City Hall Friday night to demand an end to the city’s Urban Beach Weekend, which this year saw 431 arrests and two police shootings that left one man dead and four bystanders shot.Protestors held signs with messages like “It’s not about…
