Imagine a place where bouquets and garters are thrown on the hour, every hour. Where the cake isn’t a cake without an inch-thick layer of rubbery fondant, and a broken record is playing “You may now kiss the bride, you may now kiss the bride, you may….” It might sound…

So far your quest to dream up a good reason to leave work early on Fridays has been a bust. Your migraine excuse is getting old, and the diarrhea one? Even older. But we’ll give you an alibi that even your boss will back you up on. It’s the newest…

It was 2005 when we began to hear rumblings about the latest Brit to sail across the pond. Reality series Strictly Come Dancing had been given a new name that left no room for stupid American misinterpretation — Dancing with the Stars — and packaged for our pleasure. What was…

In 1989, back when the M in MTV stood for music, the network debuted a groundbreaking show called Unplugged. Industry geniuses, from Bob Dylan and R.E.M. to Jay-Z and Lauryn Hill, graced the stage for acoustic sets that transformed their studio albums into living, breathing, dynamic pieces of art. Now…

Peeling your clothes off piece by piece should make you feel saucy and just a little cheeky (wink, wink), not all awkward, like the striptease you perform three times a week in the gym locker room. “It’s not about breast implants or doing your lips or getting this bigger and…

So far your adventures in cooking have been unpredictable at best. From the first batch of blackened sugar cookies when you were seven to that popsicle-like turkey you served last Thanksgiving, your kitchen has become a sort of Twilight Zone — you never know what’ll come out of it. For…

When the first few chords of a good song play, the true dancer switches on, ready to react to the beat and the melody. His or her movements mirror the music. But you? Sometimes your wires get crossed, and even though the song is clearly smooth jazz, you employ some…

There are people who love fashion, and then there are those who are absolutely obsessed — stalking sales like a jealous lover, consumed by fabrics and stitching, shopping on the offensive with elbows out and ready to swing. To a true shopper, stumbling upon a sample sale is like finding…

We hear that the benefits can be great: TV Guide covers, consistent work, a familylike cast and crew. But being on one of those damn sitcoms sure can make a world full of people think you’re someone you’re not. Who knew that Full House’s Bob Saget is actually more of…

Grandfather New Times taught us how to play a mean game of dominoes — from our strategically sneaky smile to the way we slam the last piece down, shaking the table and our opponent into submission. And tonight we’re taking our shiny domino suitcase — the one with the secret…

The waters surrounding Miami are speckled with spots of land — isles owned by billionaires, others owned by the creatures that call them home. And just beyond those unnamed islands are the ones you’ve heard of: the Bahamas, Jamaica, Trinidad. But thanks to six-day work weeks and lightweight paychecks, the…

If we had a nickel for every time we heard “love takes time” or “love conquers all,” the aromas wafting from our cubicles at lunchtime would smell less like last night’s leftovers and more like the surf and turf from Prime 112. We are sick of the “wait and see,”…

As children, we had story hour, 60 minutes of sitting cross-legged while the adventures of the Berenstain Bears and the Cat in the Hat were read aloud. We seemingly listened intently but really just daydreamed about the milk and cookies that would soon be sliding down our greedy little throats…

Every blue moon brings murmurs about a new party arising from the monotony that is the South Beach club scene. But you’ve heard it all before, and by now it takes a roar for you to believe it. For more than a year, the urban chic crowd has been meeting…

If brain freeze is the feeling you get when you take in too much of something cold too fast, what is it called when you have too much damn fun too fast? If you love diving or just think you might, we think it might be called Island Sun Splash…

Yes, we love the Seventies. But when we think of goldfish tank platforms and fuzzy armpits, we realize that some trends are best left where they belong — in the past. Then we imagine ourselves at Throb: The Ultimate Roller Disco Club Night, on four wheels, gliding effortlessly to the…

The United States is often called the land of milk and honey, and if that’s the case, Miami must be the town of soy milk and Splenda. The fact that we’re a city of fitness freaks, hard-bodies, and health nuts is well established, but what does the flip side of…

Next time you’re on an airplane, drown out the torturous cries of the wailing babies and the sniffling cabin mates and try to forget that the air you’re sucking on is as used as the blanket you’ve just swaddled yourself in. As the plane lifts off, imagine you’re the pilot,…

As spontaneous as you like to tell people you are, some things in your life are predictable and damn near dull. Like your morning coffee, for example: one sugar, no cream, and all types of boring. And your Saturday-afternoon ritual at the mall, bouncing from store to unimpressive store. But…

Over the years, your relationship with nature’s candy, also known as fruit, has been one of trickery and fraud. You’ve discovered that beans are not the only musical fruit, and after sinking your teeth into that wax apple last year, you just don’t know what to believe anymore. Lucky for…

This weekend Coconut Grove will awaken with the sights, smells, and sounds of the Bahamas for the annual Goombay Festival. For your eyes and ears, there’ll be writhing Junkanoos and musicians adorned in kaleidoscopic costumes. For your belly, hundreds of vendors will be lining the streets, selling Bahamian and spicy…

The Cat in the Hat, Green Eggs and Ham, and How the Grinch Stole Christmas. We do not like them in a box. We do not like them with a fox. We do not like them in a house. We do not like them with a mouse. But we do…