When excavators from the year 3012 dig up the remains of our society, what will they find? Will they uncover mountains of plastic Publix bags? Will they be sweeping the earth of sunken-in sofa cushions, trying to figure out what type of creatures sat in them for hours on end?…
Sure, your mom says you don’t need it, and your boyfriend insists you’re beautiful without it — but let’s be honest, even just a swipe of blush across the cheeks, a splash of lip gloss, and some mascara equal guaranteed goddess. Okay, so some days you can only muster up…
Hello, Kitty My girl and I got into an argument the other day when all of a sudden, she blurts out “…and I know you’re gay!” This threw me because she had never mentioned this to me before, so I ask her to explain and she gives me all of…
Hello, Kitty A few nights ago I was at a club with a few of my girls and we got reeeally hammered. More like flashing-random-bathroom-attendants tipsy than unconscious-in-the-ER drunk, but out of control is out of control, right? Anyway, we partied pretty hard, and by the end of the night…
You’ve been longing for months to wear that pair of bright yellow Versace jeans you rocked the first day of junior high school, wondering if it’s too soon to reinsert them into your rotation of fly gear. Heads up: The rule is that if the clothes were made anywhere between…
In case you didn’t know, wine is not to be chugged like a six-pack of cold beers at a frat party. Whether you take it from a bottle or a box, there’s an art to it. Don’t worry, you’ll still reach the tipsy finish line, but you’ll do it with…
The lights dim in the theater and you tighten your grip on part one of your two-drink minimum. You try to let the vodka numb your brain cells, but the side effects of your hellish workweek won’t allow it. Maybe you’re munching on a plate of conch fritters, or maybe…
When Ikea — the Wal-Mart of furniture stores — landed in South Florida, the hurricane of cheap couches in vibrant colors gave you a bad case of vertigo, and the oodles of white-lacquered furnishings for the buildin’ had you in hex key hell. Don’t fret — the cure has arrived…
Today marks the end of Funkshion Fashion Week, and if you’re like us, the sight of one more jutting collarbone is going to make you shove a turkey down someone’s throat. So tonight we’ll be front row in the tent at 10th Street and Ocean Drive for the Jockstarzz Fashion…
You were at the gates of Miami Metrozoo with cigars and champagne when the Oriental small-clawed otters were born, and you’ve seen the black-naped fruit dove so many times he knows your name. It’s no secret you’re a loyal supporter of our very own county-run-and-owned zoo. But the 740-acre animal…
Hello, Kitty A few weeks ago I met a guy that I really like. We’ve been going out on dates to restaurants, movies and etc., but I’m still not sure if he has a girlfriend or not. I kind of think that he does because he’s never let me come…
Hello, Kitty A few days ago, I went to my neighbor’s house to drop off a DVD I had borrowed, and now I really wish that I had called her first. I got there around 6:30ish and the lights were on, I could hear music playing, but after knocking for…
Hello, Kitty I broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago, and for once I didn’t have a list of guys to run to once my relationship crumbled. As a result, I have been forced into a life of celibacy. And I’m dying over here. One night stands aren’t…
New York’s biannual fashion week is one of the definitive couture showcases in the world, shining a light on the trends that will rule the style universe for the next year. And although Miami is no Big Apple, it is home to enough snowbirds and imports to give our fair…
The sun is at full blaze, but you’re blocking the rays with your fedora, so it’s not bothering you. The temperature is set to “Hell,” but you don’t mind, because you’re on the shady side of Crandon Park’s Stadium Court, fanning yourself with a program. The folks who should be…
In the past year, you’ve journeyed to the exact same urban oasis on Biscayne Boulevard, but for a variety of reasons. On Thursdays the movies lured you, on Tuesdays free piña coladas and 18 artsy holes of minigolf called your name, and on Saturday mornings it was the promise of…
Hello, Kitty I’m in love with my best friend’s husband. I know, I know, I’m terrible; but, it’s complicated. They’ve been married for a little more than 7 years, she and I have been friends for almost 12, and I’ve been sucking his cock for the past two. Well, not…
Hello, Kitty Home life and social life, all cool. But it’s my job that is really driving me crazy. First of all, I’m no prude, let’s get that straight. But there’s this guy at my office that harasses every single semi-cute girl on the payroll, including me. And when I…
Some festivals wobble into town with a whimper, others with a cough; then you have Jazz in the Gardens. This two-day extravaganza of smooth grooves is coming down Dan Marino Boulevard riding the sweet sounds of George Benson’s guitar, the immortal pipes of Chaka Khan, and whichever musical trick Wyclef…
You vowed to be more philanthropic in 2008, and although giving a couple of dollars to the homeless guy with the “Why lie? I need a cold beer!” sign is a step in the right direction, we think you could definitely be doing more to contribute to society. Tonight join…
Depending on who you ask, legendary writer Zora Neale Hurston is a Floridian. Some say she was born in small-town Eatonville, though others say she was born in Alabama. We’d like to claim this literary gem as our own. As a pioneer of the Harlem Renaissance, Hurston brought her distinct…
In the good ol’ days, not even the sight of tourists in unforgiving thongs or the attack from cancerous sun rays could spoil your mood when you were chillaxing on the amazing sands of Miami Beach. But then one day, your Shangri-La was destroyed when you found a cigarette butt…
