The last time your knees touched the sand, you were young enough to enjoy building sandcastles but too old to take a dump in the water. This Saturday, Zephyrhills is inviting you back to the beach to indulge in some sports, sun, and sexy athletes at the annual Dig the…
You’re getting sleeeeepy, and you can’t move from the chair you’re sitting in. You hear fingers snap, and suddenly some dude in a P. Diddy-esque shiny suit is playing you like a deck of cards. We’re not talking about your dickhead boss at the Christmas party; we’re referring to the…
Hello, Kitty My job recently transferred me to Miami from St. Louis for a month to start up our Southern branch and I ‘m having a hard time fitting in. It’s not so much the fact that my hair can’t take the humidity (though it can’t), just that I can’t…
The history of Coral Castle claims the structure boasts stones taller than the ones at Stonehenge and heavier than the ones that make up Egypt’s pyramids. And the story behind the construction of this place is as mythical as it is fantastic. There’s underage love, a man with the strength…
Though the sticky floors and grimy glasses make your preppy soul cringe, you swear you love a good dive bar. And who wouldn’t? The discount drinks, colorful characters, and undeniably dirty peanuts would make any good lush happy. Still, we sense your disgust, even when you’re sloppy drunk and hanging…
Spoken word is the art you find at the intersection of poetry and music. Cultivated in the brains of artists who write to an imaginary beat that pulses in their heads, it is built to ignite passion, caution, or action. This stuff will make you move. Ingrid B. has been…
You used to cringe at the thought of having hot wax ripped from your nether region, but you took comfort in the fact that the women of Brazil invented this depilatory torture. News flash: Removing hair from places where the sun don’t shine is extreme, even in the land of…
The United States has the highest incidence of breast cancer in the world, and the number of women who fight the disease with heart and vigor is just as high. You see survivors running marathons, speaking at benefits, and even working in the cubicle next to you. And you don’t…
Hello, Kitty: I’m a single woman. My job recently brought me to Miami from Saint Louis for a month to start up our Southern branch and I’m having a hard time fitting in. It’s not so much the fact that my hair can’t take the humidity (though it can’t), it’s…
We don’t need to read your tarot cards to know that your version of high tea includes a microwave, a chipped Marge Simpson mug, and a freshly rolled doobie. While yours sounds like something we could do with our shoes off, we’re kinda interested in trying out a traditional English…
If you go to the movies to escape the harsh realities of your hectic life, stop reading here. If you’re angry at the world, the system, and your fucking boss, press on to the next sentence. Like clockwork, on the most-hated day of the week, Sweat Records, one of Miami’s…
Your mom shoved a naked hot dog into your tiny little fist at the tender age of two. As the stick of pig pieces liquefied in your gummy little mouth, you fell in love with the taste of meat. We don’t blame you; flesh can be heavy on the yum…
We’d rather not imagine a rap world without Jay Jenkins rockin’ the mike as The Snowman a.k.a. ATL MC Young Jeezy. His slow Southern flow and real-life lyrics have earned him a special place in the hearts of rap purists and hip-poppers alike. His ad-libs are legendary. Can we get…
When you throw your liquor past the lips and over the tongue, it feels as though the potent elixir is sending the shot straight to your heart. Ahhh, just how we like it. You can keep your rocks, splashes, and twists. We like our firewater like our president — stiff…
Hello, Kitty: After 12 years of marriage to a wonderful woman, I’ve been seriously considering asking my wife to join me in swinging. Not as in what kids do at a playground, but the adult sort. I vowed to be with my wife for better or for worse, but when…
Condoms and lube: $11.36 at Walgreens. Soft lighting: courtesy of FPL’s exasperation with you not paying your damn electric bill. So now it’s dark, wet and safe, but even then, achieving the fabled state of “in the mood” can be tricky. Unless you’re paying for the pump, there are no…
Hello, Kitty After 12 years of marriage to a wonderful woman, I’ve been seriously considering asking my wife to join me in “swinging.” Not as in what kids do at a playground, but what adults do when they and their spouse have sex with other couples. I vowed to be…
F**k what your sixth-grade science teacher said; gravity can be beat and you don’t have to live with your feet planted on the ground for eternity. You can join the cadre of birds, airplanes, and NBA players that are lucky to coast through the air with the wind beneath their…
Our latest obsession in the black hole of game-show hell is a little something called The Moment of Truth. On it, one contestant sits on a platform while the judging eyes of his or her closest friends and family — plus a couple hundred in the studio audience and countless…
If it’s Sunday and you find yourself in the semi-tony area of South Beach that the locals know as SoFi (South of Fifth Street), don’t feel compelled to have a $1,000 meal at Smith & Wollensky or drop a McDonald’s manager’s salary on bottle service at Privé. That’s right, you…
According to smart people who study fossils, the ancient lemur survived Madagascar’s separation from continental Africa by boogie-boarding across the ocean on a large clump of plant life. That’s hard-core. Lemurs are cousins to your run-of-the-mill monkey, but with freakishly reflective eyes and a “toilet claw” that serves the same…
Hello, Kitty My boyfriend seems to think that I don’t give him enough blow jobs. After living together for 3 years, I admit that the frequency has slowed down to around twice a week but damn – I work full-time, have a two-year-old son, and plus it makes my jaw…
