The beauty of Miami’s many sky-high alfresco party spots isn’t in the blustery winds that rip through our updos like a horny teenager on prom night. And even though we’re chin-deep in what might be the worst economic quagmire since the Depression, the beauty isn’t in the fact that the…
The original Dirty Harry used a Smith & Wesson and an arsenal of one-liners to defeat his foes. But on South Beach, Dirty Hairy is Liv’s newest weekly party, and slayer of all stereotypes currently plaguing the scene. Sure, you’ve heard promoters make that claim before, but once Plum TV…
The Nutcracker isn’t the only story about inanimate objects coming to life. The Steadfast Tin Soldier, which enraptured audiences and drew solid reviews from critics last year, is back. It describes a crippled soldier made out of tin who falls in love with a plastic ballerina. He meets a foe…
Hello, Kitty: I’m in a top-secret relationship with a man whom my family thinks is a deadbeat, which might be true. But he’s the father of my child, and I can’t abandon the feelings I once had for him. I’m 36 years old and financially support myself and our daughter,…
If we ran into your office each day, tackled you to the ground, and twisted your elbow behind your head, you might ask us to ease up on our daily espresso intake. But we’d tell you that your cubicle reminds us of a mixed martial arts (MMA) ring and that…
When we first met Jeff McInnis, chef de cuisine at the DiLido Beach Club, he presented us with plate after plate of fare that melded perfectly with the Miami sun, and then finished our lunch with a coconut sorbet that made us wonder if he was, perhaps, Zeus in an…
You probably send hundreds of LOLs and LMAOs by text message every day, but the true question is: Are you thumbing away with a straight face, or are you really laughing out loud? Cell phone messaging has created a loss of intimacy when it comes to funny. Let’s face it…
I know, this is late. But would you rather hear which V-Day activities I may have to suggest or show up at your lover’s doorstep with a dusty Whitman Sampler? Or a bag of shrimp you bought at a red light because the flower lady at the previous red light…
Valentine’s Day is Hallmark’s way of putting you in a headlock and forcing you to tell your significant other that you love him or her. Whether you actually L-word them or not, close to a billion valentines are sent each year so, you better fall the fuck in line, be…
We drooled when we tasted Jeff McInnis’ sublime mango sorbet. One spoonful and suddenly he was the “hot chef of our dreams,” knocking Bobby Flay down to number two. So when we found out that he was going to be a contestant on our favorite culinary reality show, we made…
If an upscale restaurant has hot dogs on the menu, it doesn’t expect you to devour it the way you would at a barbecue — standing up and inhaling bread, mystery meat, and ketchup in one bite. You employ some couth, and you might even use a knife and fork…
The day we moved out of our parents’ home, we could have sworn we heard the walls singing, “Hey, hey, hey, goodbye!” Sure, we had thrown a wild party or two during that fabulously raucous blur called high school, and, yeah, Jell-O shots graffiti-ed those stucco bastards more than once,…
Hello, Kitty: My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year and just recently had sex for the first time. I was expecting it to be a magical moment because our chemistry outside the bedroom is incredible. We were both so excited, but unfortunately something was missing. There were…
Motion sickness and the fear of a succumbing to a Gilligan-ish fate might keep you on dry land for the other 360 days of the year, but we say pop a Dramamine and suck it up. It’s time to abandon your landlubbing ways because the 68th annual Miami International Boat…
Motion sickness and the fear of a succumbing to a Gilligan-ish fate might keep you on dry land for the other 360 days of the year, but we say pop a Dramamine and suck it up. It’s time to abandon your landlubbing ways because the 68th annual Miami International Boat…
Don’t judge us because it took the promise of cinnamon raisin bread doused in margarine to bring us to church for Sunday school each weekend. And don’t look at us funny when we’re driving and suddenly hit the brakes, careening into the Krispy Kreme parking lot. The “hot” light was…
Hello, Kitty I am a 51-year-old housewife; my husband is the same age and I love him to death. But we rarely have sex. We just recently adopted a Japanese Akita from friends who were moving out of state, and he’s really a handful. He’s completely hyperactive and shows his…
When our favorite arched fast-food restaurant introduced the savory and sweet McGriddle, our taste buds trembled in delight. Sausage and egg thrown between two syrup-injected pancakes sounded like our kind of meal. The 11 a.m. breakfast cut-off, not so much. We’ll let early birds have the drive-thru, and you can…
Hello, Kitty: My friends and family tease me about it, and I don’t deny it — I’m a bona fide party girl. I go out at least five or six nights a week and always drink and drug a little more than a lady should. But that’s not my problem…
You’ve surely heard the theory that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, and considering that Mars is an unpredictable planet that spouts juices at the most inopportune moments, and Venus is named for the Roman goddess of love, it kinda makes sense. The battle of the sexes…
No ballad will go unpenned, no pop song allowed to be boring or predictable, and languid dance moves better watch out when Shaffer Chimere Smith is around. The singer/songwriter/producer Smith was given the name Ne-Yo by a colleague who compared his musical wizardry to that of the Matrix trilogy’s hero,…
A wise man once asked, “If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?” We say, because love fades; crotchless panties lose only their elastic. And since Victoria and Frederick have the shopping mall market on lock, hit the uber-luxurious Vizcaya Museum and Gardens and witness the first couture undies…
