As most South Florida neighborhoods have sprouted unseemly subdivisions like toadstools in the shade, the Village of Palmetto Bay has remained a sleepy, middle-class enclave.That could all change on November 6, however, when residents go to the polls. Up for a vote: two spots on the City Council and an…
Hugo Chavez scored a resounding win in Venezuela’s October 7 presidential election. His 11-point victory ensured that — barring a sudden surrender to the cancer he has been battling for more than a year — he will mark 20 years in power by the end of his term in 2019…
Jesus Aguero, Once Miami’s Dirtiest Cop, Accused of Defrauding $25,000 From Scholarship Fund
For more than a year, Mitt Romney has jetted across the country, calling Barack Obama an utter failure. The president has done his fair share of name-calling too, but it wasn’t until two weeks ago that he had a chance to stand up to his challenger in person. Instead of…
The change could make a massive difference in the lives of the Cuban people, not to mention U.S.-Cuba relations. Could Miami soon see a brand new influx of Cubans? Maybe…
There is blood in the water, b*tches.Unlike the snooze-fest of a first presidential debate, last night’s vice presidential debate was political pugilism at its finest. And after a 90-minute bout, Laughin’ Joe Biden edged out an exhausting win over blue-eyed Republican budget boy toy Paul Ryan.Here’s your ten-second breakdown:Paul Ryan…
Mitt Romney absolutely manhandled Barack Obama during last week’s first presidential debate. First, the Mormon Miracle-worker stunned the Prez by flip-flopping on his $5 trillion tax cut for the rich. Then he flogged Obama with falsehoods until Big Bird silently wept off-stage. But tonight’s vice presidential debate is a whole ‘nother…
How Mitt Romney Can Win Florida: Tie Fidel Castro to His Car’s Roof
Sh*t is hitting the fan. First, there were the leaks: over 65 of them in the past two years, inundating neighborhoods across South Florida with putrid water. Then came the bill: over $1.1 billion to fix the county’s aging sewage system. The crap crisis has become so bad that last…
Mitt Romney made Barack Obama his bitch during last week’s presidential debate. He lied and obfuscated; flip-flopped and feigned outrage; flapped his finely manicured hands and blamed Obama for allegedly leading us down the path to socialist serfdom. Unsurprisingly, the mainstream media promptly rewarded Romney’s radical revisionism with gushing praise.But…
As Walter Cronkite once said: “Well, that debate was one flaming pile of rancid cat shit.”*For those of you who didn’t suffer through last night’s 90-minute cojone-eating contest between Mitt Romney and President Barack Obama, here’s your 10-second summary:Romney wonObama lostRomney snorted Ronald Reagan’s ashes before going on stageObama performed…
Tony Galeota: From Running Porky’s, Miami’s Most Notorious Strip Joint, to Rotting in a Panamanian Jail
See also: “From Porky’s to Panamanian Prison: Web Extra.”
Florida Sports You Can Get Excited About
“No matter what a stripper tells you,” Chris Rock once sang, “There’s no sex in the Champagne Room.” Rock had obviously never been to a strip club here in Miami. As this week’s feature on notorious Hialeah strip club Porky’s shows, there is most definitely sex in champagne rooms all…
In January, I wrote about an amazing high-tech submarine race to the bottom of the ocean. In the story, I mentioned how a Hialeah strip club called Porky’s had once been the staging ground for an incredible plot to smuggle Colombian cocaine to California in a Russian sub.Then, at the…
Now is the season of Miami’s discontent, thanks to our terrible local teams. The Dolphins are a joke. The Marlins are even worse than last year. The University of Miami Hurricanes aren’t much better, losing to Kansas State by 39 points. The Florida Panthers are locked out. And South Florida’s…
Sports teams are like Hollywood movies: sometimes they can be so bad they’re actually good. Such is the case with the Miami Marlins, who are quickly becoming the Snakes on a Plane of professional baseball. More than seven years ago, Adam Greenberg was called up by the Chicago Cubs for…
In any sane world, Democratic congressional candidate Joe Garcia would easily defeat Republican Rep. David Rivera this November. Rivera has been called the most corrupt politician in Washington, and is currently at the center of a bizarre FBI investigation involving a fake Democrat and a female campaign consultant known to…
Alex “Rube” Rubin doesn’t have a legion of fans breathlessly awaiting his next single — at least not yet. He’s just a white guy living in a mostly Hispanic city using hip-hop to back our black president. Sounds about right for South Florida.See Also:- Rapper Alex “Rube” Rubin Invites Miami’s Scorn…
When it comes to sports, there is a long and storied tradition of punking rookies. First-year professional ballers have being forced to wear Justin Bieber backpacks or had their SUVs filled with popcorn, for example. Some high school sports teams even make their rookies dip their genitals in Icy Hot…
Only in Miami could our inboxes be flooded with press releases like this Wednesday’s police announcement: “Clandestine Dentist Arrested.” Oh, thank God, you say. Then you think, what kind of a city has fake dentists? I mean, how hard can it be to graduate from dental school?But this is Miami,…
Do Porn Companies “Blackmail” Illegal Downloaders?
