Health nuts at Miami Beach’s fancy David Barton Gym were just trying to relax and wash off after a tough workout when a group of armed bounty hunters stormed the locker rooms and searched the showers for two men. Apparently that’s totally legal, too…
Someone looking at child porn in the office is creepy. Someone looking at child porn while at Disney World is skin crawling. A pastor looking at child porn is just sick. Only in Florida, though, do you get pastors who work at Disney World getting caught looking at child porn…
Terrible Miami Drivers: We’re Here to Help
Kiera Wilmot, the teenage girl who was arrested, expelled from school and charged with two adult felonies all for conducting a science experiment on school grounds, will not face any criminal charges after all. According to The Orlando Sentinel, the State Attorney’s Office announced today it will not pursuit charges…
Apparently Jesus doesn’t have as much sway at the polls as you would have imagined. After trumpeting her supposed endorsement by Mr. Jesus H. Christ himself in campaign material, Anna Pierre still came in dead last out of seven candidates in yesterday’s North Miami mayoral primary. So she’s responded by…
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Dr. Orlando Llorente, the plastic surgeon accused of holding his girlfriend captive and waterboarding her in a Brickell apartment over a Facebook posting, just keeps getting stranger. For one thing, the victim wasn’t really a girlfriend but an ex-mistress. Yes, Llorente is married, and his wife is standing by his…
What is going on down here? First we got newlyweds getting arrested for trying to meet a hooker on their honeymoon, and now we’ve got moms abandoning their kids at bars to go on a drunken boat trip on Mother’s Day. Special occasions: You’re doing it wrong, Florida. Billie Jean…
Miami Heat star Dwyane Wade is no stranger to fashion provocation, but gauging by the reaction from his stroll into Chicago’s United Center last night in a tailored Gucci suit that featured ankle-flashing capri pants, you would have assumed he’d shown up in a rainbow Speedo and glittery suspenders. From…
Today’s photo of the day is from Jjjonathon’s Flickr. If you’d like to see your photo here join our Flickr group here. Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes…
Generally, honeymoons should be sex-filled jaunts, but the general rule is that the sex should be with your new spouse, and not, say, an Orlando-area prostitute you met online. Especially when your new spouse doesn’t know about it. A 21-year-old man named Mohammed Ahmed was charged with solicitation of prostitution…
How badly are Republican’s efforts to win over Hispanic voters in Florida going? Well, the man once in charge of the effort announced that he’s quit the party and is now a registered Democrat. Pablo Pantoja, the former State Director of Florida Hispanic Outreach for the Republican National Committee, announced…
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Anna Pierre has apparently picked up the biggest political endorsement ever in her quest to become mayor of North Miami. She claims that she has the backing of none other than Jesus Christ himself, and is trumpeting the endorsement in campaign material…
Florida’s new law aimed at cracking down on maquinitas and other forms of computerized pseudo-gambling found at so-called “Internet cafes” is so far-reaching it actually outlawed several games found at places like Chuck E. Cheese and Dave & Buster’s. However local authorities aren’t so keen on enforcing the law at…
The Miami Marlins can’t seem to win much of anything lately. Not even an omelet-eating contest. While the team was in San Diego last week, reliever A.J. Ramos walked into the Broken Yoke Café and decided to try the restaurant’s “Iron Man Challenge.” Contestants are tasked with eating a meal…
A 12-year-old boy in Miami Beach might have been the happiest person ever to spot Jehovah’s Witnesses. They found him tied to a pole after his dad decided to try out some unorthodox parenting techniques and left him there while he went shopping…
The years of brewing tension between the City of Miami and the producers of Burn Notice over their use as the Coconut Grove Expo Center as their filming hub are apparently at an end. Today, USA announced that the upcoming show’s seventh season will be its last. Burn Notice has…
Ever wonder what part of the country all that hateful Twitter trash spews from? Well a new project out of Humboldt State University called “The Hate Map,” shows you exactly what parts of the country likes to include negative slurs in their Twitter communiqués. Interestingly, Miami-Dade is among the least…
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Forget the pressure on the actual athletes. The most stressed person at any baseball game must be the person picked to throw that ceremonial first pitch. It’s not an opportunity one gets all that often in a lifetime, and botching it is the kind of thing that could haunt you…
Just a day after Miami Dolphins CEO Mike Dee casually quipped that the team was “open” to moving to Palm Beach, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell stressed that the league wants the team to stay put in the only home it’s ever known, Miami-Dade County. Goodell also stated that the league…
