Picture King Kong, belly bulging from his diet of lead, mercury, and cadmium cakes, splashing across Biscayne Bay and proceeding to wade up the Miami River, evacuating his bowels as he goes. And say, at the end of the day, the toxic doo-doo was of such quantity that it would…
Because this is her typical morning, Edie Laquer is a very unusual woman. She arises from the exquisitely carved wooden bed in her opulent Coconut Grove penthouse at 3:00 a.m. After a workout, she dresses in a black turtleneck, black blazer, and black skirt. With her kinky auburn and blond-streaked…
In March New Times made two unsettling discoveries. At least 31 billboards (21 of them illegal) along I-95, I-395, and I-195 clutter the landscape. And, though city and county codes prohibit construction of such signs oriented toward freeway drivers in an area east of I-95, five have gone up in…
Renee Osceola was born in a swamp, saved by a medicine man, and raised in a place where people insisted that green things were blue. On a recent Wednesday night, four decades later and twenty miles from her birthplace, she sat under fluorescent lights, ripping two long narrow strips of…
In the five months that followed his miraculous arrival in the Magic City, Elian Gonzalez became the poster child of Miami’s Cuban community. As American authorities moved slowly toward returning the boy to the care of his father on the island, a diplomatic, political, and intensely emotional crisis erupted. Media…
Everyone knows the Magic City’s expressways are ever-more exciting these days. Drivers who zigzag at high speeds experience the biggest adrenaline rush, but even the five-mile-per-hour jam can be amusing. We surf the radio waves, talk on cell phones, crank the CD player, and gaze at the growing number of…
Francisco Diaz is smiling mischievously as he winds his way between several dozen men and women dressed in business suits, who have jammed into a banquet room at the Fontainebleau Hilton on Miami Beach. It is a Thursday evening, and for the past two hours the guests have been milling…
A round of golf is usually just a round of golf. Of course a guy like Tiger Woods can make a lot of money at it. But for most players it’s just a pleasant, if rather expensive, pastime. Once in a great while, though, a game of golf becomes an…
In an obscure corner of the Port of Miami, a floodlight haze surrounds a huge tiki hut, where two men from a faraway land sit at a picnic table and contemplate their so-called lives. Directly before them tennis players swat balls on an illuminated court and nearby, dance music blasts…
The erection of a large, pink, ugly thing in plain view of Miami city offices is provoking disgust and outrage among some neighbors and city officials. “I’m looking at it right now,” exclaims Assistant City Manager John Lindsay, peering out his tenth-story window atop the glimmering Riverside Center. The offending…
On a Friday evening Lawrence Moore is standing on Fourteenth Street in Overtown behind the open back door of his big white delivery truck, which is parked next to his grocery store. It’s about 5:00 p.m., the time some people crave Moore’s conch salad and drive by for a cup…
In a pond-splattered, melaleuca-filled corner of the Everglades, five shotgun-toting men take shelter beneath a green-and-white-striped canopy. After a brief but heavy rain subsides, they step into two golf carts and drive twenty yards to a wooden platform. They could have walked that distance, but conserving energy is critical out…
When Surfer John called on a Thursday afternoon, New Times’s plans for exclusive coverage of the 45th annual Columbus Day Regatta seemed to be proceeding auspiciously. “This is the Polack,” bellowed the legendary Coconut Grove nomad, whose waterfront connections run as deep as anyone’s. “I’m looking for your berth aboard…
The kids who attend Thomas Jefferson Middle School in North Miami call the place T.J. for short. Not all of the epithets are so cute, though. For example, many T.J. students are alumni of nearby Biscayne Gardens Elementary and affectionately refer to their alma mater as Biscayne Garbage. It may…
Seven teenage boys fall on their bellies and press M-16 semiautomatic rifles tightly against their shoulders. Wearing black boots, fatigues, and caps, they squeeze the triggers five times, the air erupting with eardrum-splitting explosions. Hot brass bullet casings scatter in all directions. The smell of smoke and gun lubricant mixes…
The sight of the shirtless man, flat on his back, Walkman blaring, summarizes the state of live music in the famed Art Deco District. There he is, a semiconscious, apparently intoxicated gentleman in blue jeans and black deck shoes, dozing sloppily at the foot of a graffiti-scrawled, turquoise-color metal door…
To much of the republic, Miami means sex and fiscal mismanagement. Recent questions raised by a Palm Beach newspaper about a provocative calendar have improved and deepened that reputation. It is easy to see why the twelve months of the Female Firefighters of South Florida have attracted attention. Slick pages…
Why is this a story?” grumbles the weary drug enforcement agent, clad in black boots, black pants, black sidearm holster, and a black T-shirt with the words Six to ten seconds to make a first impression on the back. He stands guard near the rear entrance of a dingy, five-story…
August 5, 1999 Mr. Roberto Benabib Executive Producer Universal Studios 100 Universal Plaza Universal City, CA 91608 Dear Roberto, You would not believe how little they pay us at these “alternative” weeklies (read: chicken feed). So I thought I would try to generate some extra cash and do you a…
The dismal denouement pretty much starts when Bob arrives. Bob Charest, that is, a bearded, wholesome-looking man from New Hampshire. Dressed in sandals, shorts, and a light-green polo shirt, he hustles into a store hidden away in a shadowy plaza a half-block from CocoWalk. Who could have suspected such a…
HOWARD JOHNSON’S bundled dreadlocks protrude from the back of his cowboy hat as he pulls a Ben Hogan five-iron from his golf bag. “This is a nice one,” the 57-year-old says quietly, admiring the club. He is about to play a most unconventional round in a vacant lot at the…
Despite a dizzying sequence of balancing acts, minor and major debacles, and one near-disaster, the grand opening of the Miccosukee Resort and Convention Center ended quietly for tribal chairman Billy Cypress. Just past midnight on June 15 the 48-year-old was sitting comfortably in a cozy lounge chair on the carpeted…
