Miami Herald‘s Moving Sale

Now that the Herald is planning its move from its seaside lair to a third-floor Homestead office (above a Palacio de Jugos! Yes!), they’re looking to unload some stuff. Here are a few of the items we’re going to be looking for on Craigslist…

I Cheated My Way Through High School Last Week

Like thousands of local students, I graduated from high school last week. But I cheated — by having elementary and junior high school kids do my work for me. Two Thursdays ago, I called the phone number — 305-716-0909 — listed on a sign, reading simply “High School Diploma”, that…

Miami’s Curd Cowboys: Is Cheese the New Cocaine?

On December 18, 2010, a freighter named America Feeder arrived at the Port of Miami from Nicaragua. Federal agents were secretly running surveillance on one container, marked ARLU 5102167. Five days later, the container was hitched to a truck and driven, with agents trailing, to a cold-storage facility on NW…

Source: Shakey Rodriguez Was Forced Out Over Scandal

Happen to read yesterday’s fluff piece in the Miami Herald on Marcos “Shakey” Rodriguez’s departure from the boy’s basketball coaching position at Krop High? Here’s the lede: Shakey Rodriguez, the hyper intense, hyper successful and hyper controversial coach who made basketball matter in Miami, has decided to retire. Blech. According…

Six Formerly Ridiculous Celebrities Who Went On to Public Office

We know the inner struggle you’re having. Whenever you picture yourself voting Luther Campbell for Miami-Dade Mayor, there’s a little persistent soundtrack playing in your head that causes hesitation: Oh, me so horny… So we put together this list to convince you that some totally ridiculous celebrities have gone on…

Do Carnival Cruise Ships Have a Poop Problem?

A document nutty with consumer outrage crossed our desk last week. In mid-April, a Florida woman — due to the sensitive nature of this topic, we’ll just call her Consuela — sent a complaint to Carnival Cruise Lines’ Doral headquarters documenting the nasty saga that was her groups’ recent trip…

This Is How a Porno Begins

We know what you’re thinking: A porno begins when a guy in an ’80s-era muscle car pulls over next to an impossibly buxom blonde whose vehicle has broken down by the side of the road, and they exchange quips that don’t make sense, and then there’s an abrupt cut and…

“That’s Retarded”: LeBron’s Latest Flub

The word “retard”: America just doesn’t know what to do with it. True, we should probably retire it for good from our vocabulary, but lets be honest: Many of us normal, untelevised folk still use it pretty regularly. And the Black Eyed Peas had a hit song with “retarded” in…