Indian Creek Village millionaires battle over their own crappy road
Indian Creek Village millionaires battle over their own crappy road
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South Beach transsexual’s interesting traffic court defense
South Beach transsexual’s interesting traffic court defense
Shaquille O’Neal wages war against a Miami computer geek
Shaquille O’Neal wages war against Shawn Darling, an ex-con computer geek
Florida’s Fast-Food Rage: Two Decades of Grease-Fiending Violence and Insanity
Is there a pastime more Floridian than going completely nuts — we mean Michael-Douglas-in-Falling-Down-apeshit — when denied our favorite fast-food product?Florida luminary Terry Lynn Kimbell was really just carrying on a long tradition when he recently called 911 to complain that Taco Bell wouldn’t serve him at the drive-thru window. So here’s…
U-Haul-Careening Transgender Woman Bashes Blood Bank Bus, Makes Strange Defense In Court
“I’m a hot, sexy chick, and I don’t like people fucking with me.” Such is the battle call of “Jozy” — born Ira Deford — a preop South Beach transsexual who this month took a historic stand in traffic court after bashing the side mirror of a blood bank’s bus…
Indian Creek Island’s Millionaires Battle Over Maintenance of a Tiny Road
As America hurtles toward a second scoop of recession and you struggle to make ends meet, you should know this: Some of this nation’s wealthiest citizens are squabbling over a minute stretch of asphalt. On a recent weekday, Riptide traversed where few plebeians without landscaping licenses have gone before: Indian…
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Fat Grandma Tattoos, The Prong Beard, and The Perfect Mugshot Form
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that…
Shaq’s Wire-Wearing Mistress and the Extortion Claim
Extortion, espionage, mistresses, and Delonte West’s penis. Just how crazy is Shaquille O’Neal’s personal life? Last February, local prosecutors met with Vanessa Lopez, a woman claiming to be O’Neal’s former mistress, about an alleged extortion plot, according to a Florida Department of Law Enforcement investigative report obtained by Riptide. Authorities…
Nevin Shapiro Sent Miami Beach Police Chief Carlos Noriega a Photo of His Bloody Head
Miami Beach Police Chief Carlos Noriega sure is tired of answering questions about Nevin Shapiro. We reported yesterday that Noriega blew a digital fuse when a resident repeatedly questioned him via email about the since-convicted Ponzi schemer’s role on the Police Athletic League board. When we asked Noriega about bizarre correspondence…
Google Street View Invades a Liberty City Woman’s Right To Hold a Water Jug Naked On Front Porch
It used to be you could contemplatively hold a water jug naked outside of your Liberty City house without fear that your photo would end up on the internet. Used to be. Bill Cooke, the blogging brain behind Random Pixels, chuckled a lot as he told us to Google the…
Florida Nuclear Plant Supervisor Fired (or Not) After Testing Positive for Alcohol
Update: Here’s kind of a creepy correction: FPL spokesperson Robbins emailed us to say, “The NRC report states: ‘The employee’s access to the plant has been terminated.’ It does not say that the employee was fired. As to whether or not the employee was fired, that is a personnel matter…
Miami’s best spots for sexy time under the starry sky
Miami’s best spots for sexy time under the starry sky
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Shawn Loftis’s big, gay odyssey
Behold, the big, gay odyssey of Shawn Loftis. A graduate of Florida International University, where he studied international relations with a focus on the Middle East, and the Master of Public Administration Program at the University of Miami, Loftis — like so many of us — began acting in hard-core…
Hialeah’s Executive Palace Hotel gives you more bang for your buck
Hialeah’s Executive Palace Hotel gives you more bang for your buck
A private garage, a stripper pole, and hard-core porn on the tube. This ain’t no Radisson.
Krop High Fined $53,000 For Cheating Basketball Team
The Florida High School Athletic Association today released findings from its investigation of Aventura-area Dr. Michael M. Krop High’s basketball team, which was disqualified from the playoffs last year amid amidst allegations of rampant cheating. The verdict: For falsifying information in order to play ineligible students, Krop High is being…
Shaquille O’Neal’s Miami Beach Police Personnel File Is Full of Hilarity, Lies
When he was traded from the LA Lakers to the Miami Heat in 2004, Shaquille O’Neal became a reserve officer on the Miami Beach police force. Like any cop in Florida, O’Neal had a personnel file that is subject to a public records request. We’ve embedded the file below. As in…
Sex Issue: The Best Places To Get It On In Public
Unless you’re under house arrest or are bedridden with bronchitis, there’s really no reason to have sex indoors. Walls are so Topeka-ish. We live in a subtropical paradise with very loose morals. There may not be a better city in the world in which to penetrate a friend in the…
Shawn Loftis, Globe-Trotting Gay Porn Star, Plays Dictator F/M/K With New Times
Two weeks ago, Riptide broke the story that Shawn Loftis — known on film as Collin O’Neal — was canned from his Miami Dade Public Schools substitute teaching job when a principal found out about his prolific gay porn career. Loftis tells us he still plans to fight the firing…
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Wyclef Jean at Sun Life Stadium, September 3
Wyclef Jean Sun Life Stadium September 3, 2011 Better Than: Being president of Haiti. Or at least, that’s what Wyclef tells himself. The last Super Saturday concert I went to after a Florida Marlins game at Sun Life Stadium, the lead singer of KC and The Sunshine Band pulled out…
Sex Survey: 43 Percent of New Times Readers Have Had Threesomes, or Are Liars
Jesus, you people are freaky. Your favorite position is doggy style — what of the serene and wonderful missionary!? — you cheat on your partner, and you’ve had sex with a stranger. Either Tiger Woods hacked our mainframe, or our readers’ sex lives are far wilder than our own. More…
Flashing Headlights to Warn Other Drivers of Speed Traps Is Legal, Says Florida Lawsuit
From red-light cameras to toll lanes popping up on roads you’ve traveled free of charge for years, Florida is always busy devising ways to get over on drivers. Here’s the thing: Just ’cause the state — or its officers — does it, doesn’t mean it’s legal. A class-action suit filed…
Nevin Shapiro’s pal Donald DeLucca named Golden Beach Police chief
Nevin Shapiro’s pal Donald DeLucca named Golden Beach Police chief